As a Self-Injurer how do I help a Self-Injurer?

[VowsOfSadness]

This question has come up many times in my life and i have no answer except to do the best I can so I wanted to get you're views advice, anything on the matter.

As someone who SI's how do I help my friend who Si's?

That was just the general statement. I am not currently SI-ing (6 days free) and my friend is 2 days free he asked me to help him quit I said we could quit togather. It has been going good but I've had times with the same situation where it hasn't gone so well.

[kate_]

it's hard trying to help someone when you are experiencing the same thing. for me, it has just been a HUGE help having a friend who si's as well, because it made me feel less alone. and it's somebody to talk to who actually understands it, unlike most counsellors and doctors that i've been to. i think the best way to help is to simply be supportive to eachother, listen to eachother. i made a deal with my friend [because we were both really worried about eachother] that if either of us ever had an urge to si, we'd call the other. before we reached for anything, we'd reach for the phone, at any time of the day. this really helped because it's a promise to your friend, so you might actually follow through on your word. and you, or your friend, can talk the other out of hurting themselves, or just help talk them through their feelings at the time..

[NobodyToYou]

No one but my T knows about my SI, so my situation is different than yours. But if I did have a friend to help me through it, I think I would want to get similar things from them that I get from BUS...sometimes distractions, good ideas for coping, and someone who understands what it is like.
I don't know about you, but I would have to be very careful not to take too much responsibility for my friend...Be careful that you are not the only support your friend has or they are not your only support. Cause sooner or later, you will both be at a low point at the same time. You guys may need to talk about that before it happens...that if you are ever in too fragile of a place yourself, you need to be able to tell the other person if you can't handle them leaning on you right then. I don't know if this is really making sense, but I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

[RG]

Personally I think what your doing to this point is a good thing but agreeing with what has been said before what will happen when your both at a low. I am kind of doing the same thing with another friend so when she needs to talk I try to stay strong and if were both in a rut we talk and cry together. The other times I have used every ounce of my self control to help her even if I need help myself (seesaw affect). So as much as this girl is my savior I have other people I can talk to when I can't feel that I can be of any benifit to her without hurting myself. Hope all goes well and that this helped a tiny bit.

[VowsOfSadness]

I do understand why we should find other support and in the past with my other friend who SI-s the calling thing worked for awhile until like you said we were both low or one was high (too happy) to deal with the otehr that was too low.

I think I might mention to him about BUS if he's interested taht's what I did for my other friend.

[Wandering]

To some extent I think you can offer your friend more help than a non-SIer can, because you understand more what its like. Its great that you are helping each other. My two words of warning are: Be careful that you still look after yourself - as others are saying, if you can't cope at that point, don't try to if it'll lead to you SIing. Secondly, just don't ever get in the situ where its 'well if you SI, I will too' cos that just isn't productive at all.

Take care
Andi x