Things Left Unsaid *LA*

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Mon Apr 18, 2005 11:59 pm

i finally was brave enough to ask. you didn't answer. you bastard.

Everybody_Else's_Girl · Post by **Everybody_Else's_Girl** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 1:31 am

mom- i love you so much, but sometimes i feel so hurt by the way you relate to me. please tell me you love me too, it would mean so much to me.

dad- i love you too, but i wish i saw more of you. i know i'm away at school, but i still feel your absence.

brother- i think you're cool. i really do. it's tough, but you'll find your way. you are gifted, and soon your peers will recognize that too.

elena- i wish you didn't think that i have no deeper feelings or that you didn't patronize me the way you do sometimes. i have dealt with a lot of difficult stuff and i do have good advice to give if you would just listen.

t- i've never felt like i could talk so openly before in my life. thankyou for being there.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:31 am

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. Don't say you'll be there when you know that you can't, that you don't want to be. You don't tell someone who's depressed that they can talk to you and fucking ignore them when they try (for the first time in ages mind you). You should at least have the fucking decency to tell me to bugger off. So many times I told you if it was too much, just say so. I didn't want anything from you, but you pretty much insisted on helping. You waited until I started to trust you, right? I don't know why I did. It was stupid of me. You are just cruel and heartless. I bet all of this time you were laughing at my misery. Poor, fucked up Mona. Thinks people care. Well you know what, I know that. I know that I am pathetic and worthless and undeserving of even the slightest common courtesy. I knew that before you came along, thank you very much. So don't think you broke me. You didn't fucking touch me. You like playing mind games with me? Well you're not the first and you won't be the last. You think that you are so smart. You think that you hurt me. You aren't the only one. And the damage you caused doesn't even BEGIN to compare to what others have done. Don't flatter yourself. You horrid piece of shit.

Wall · Post by **Wall** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 5:03 pm

I have no idea how to take you up on your offer of friendship. You don't understand what it means to me. To have someone who actually cares -- and to not be able to explain the reality of my days. It's so nice to know there <i>is</i> someone out there.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 6:27 pm

This is NOT a fucking silent protest. This is my life.

GLaDOS · Post by **GLaDOS** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 8:13 pm

Mom.

Please don't do this. It's a bit too much. Don't make me SI. Please?

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 9:01 pm

somehow i can never seem to say the right thing. i can't solve your problems. i can't fucking solve my own. i want to help, but i never know what to do, what you want me to do. just tell me. i can't know otherwise.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 12:41 am

was that meant for me?

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:03 am

for a minute, i thought so. or maybe i hoped so. i think i knew it was too good to be true. but i hoped

Skyeler · Post by **Skyeler** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:40 am

Ash

I'm about to break your heart... but I need you to know this... I need you to be there I need youto know....
I'm so sorry

Koru · Post by **Koru** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 11:09 am

T - I know you want to help but the closer you get the more I push you away, even if I was 'OK' I'm not sure I could ever cope with someone so 24/7, I need space to just be me. I'm sorry for hurting you but if you loved me as much as you say you would want me to be happy more than you want me to be yours and you'd let me go.

H - I'm sorry that I can't make things right, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'd love things to be the way they were 2 years ago. I can't turn the clock back or undo what I've done, I can't even promise that if we got back together I wouldn't do it again, I don't want sex with you but I'm not sure I can live without it forever- it's a reciepe for disaster. I'm trying to protect you.

D - Why will you not reply to my e-mails? Would you rather I just got out of your life. If you didn't want to know me and deal with my mesed up world then you should have considered that before you talked to me about the cutting, got me drunk and took me to bed because I can't just forget that.

J - I'm just fed up with you, why the sudden desire to see me then not responding again? What the hell is going on in your head? Do you fancy me? Were you just after casual sex and decided not to bother when you found out about T? Did you really want to talk to me and then change your mind? Was I just someone around in town and now your mates are back you can't be bothered? How can you make my responding to an invitation to drinks feel like I'm stalking you? What do you really think of me? Do you remember me telling you about the SI? Are you as messed up and hurting as I think you are? Why won't you let me know you and help you? Why do you even matter to me?

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 9:37 pm

please be safe. please continue to ask for help. but please don't play mind games with me. i know you don't mean to. i know you desperately need help. but it is hard for me to always give that help. especially when i don't know if you're safe. when i don't know if you're serious. please be okay. please be okay.

XclippedXwingsX · Post by **XclippedXwingsX** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 10:32 pm

Marcus - I love you more than I could ever express in words. I need you so badly, like air... Please please PLEASE never hurt me like I have been in the past. I love you so much....

Kayla - I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Katie: YOU STUPID IDIOT I HOPE I NEVER SEE OR TALK TO YOU AGAIN! HOW DARE YOU TRY AND TAKE MARCUS FROM ME WHEN HE LOVE ME! YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE BRAT!

Daniel - Though our relationship didn't last... Our friendship did and I care so much about you. I worry about you nowadays. Be careful.

StoptheDawn · Post by **StoptheDawn** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 10:35 pm

Christine - I love you to bits and thank you so much for being there for me through this time. It's not your fault I'm not as open to you as you'd hope me to be but it's hard. I care for you as a friend and I don't want to hurt you.

Steph - Take a step back and look at what you're doing before you do anything again.

Louise - You said you'd be there for me. I shall be here for you too, please don't start again we're here for you!

Aunty Eleanor - Please please be well. You're hurting, I know. I know you're just coming to terms with Rosyln's death but please be okay.

Natalie - stop using pregnancy as a method of dealing with hurt. We're here for you.

Wendy - stop getting your tarot cards read and seeing psycic-people (sp?) with the hopes of being able to speak to Roslyn.

Mum - I'm so so so sorry. But I need to lie to you to protect you.

Fiona - I know you are but don't be affected by my SI. I won't kill myself through it, it's a coping mechanism and I will get better.

John - get over yourself. Stop trying to upset me so I'll flare out at you.

Diane - Stand on your own head.

Elaine - Guess what - you know jack about guinea pigs you cruel pet owner! GIVE YOUR ANIMALS SOME LOVE THEY ARE NOT JUST DECORATIONS!!!

Rachel - I lurve j00! I want to come see you.

Jane - I don't understand your multiple-brain but I trust you and I thank you for being there for me. I thank you all.

Everybody - If I show you my happy bubbly side, please don't march through the mask to find out the inner me. I hide it because I can't cope with it, if I want you to help I will ask and if you don't want to help then I'll back off and re-introduce Merry-Me.

Eilene - please phone me. Please get in contact with me. I NEED to talk to you. Please please please don't make me get on my knees!

Kirsty - get over yourself. You're stronger than your mum makes you out to be.

Dad - no words.

AnimalBreeders - you do not have the funkin right to breed your pets. Especially if you misspell "breed" as "bread" god you sick funkers - STOP COOKING YOUR PETS!

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 3:01 am

is it okay?

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:24 am

thank you for that.

pandora · Post by **pandora** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 7:49 am

throw me away.

nika · Post by **nika** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 6:20 pm

I don't know what I can do to make this easier ... because even the one thing I could do wouldn't make things better. It seems pointless to say I'm sorry ... and it's not entirely my doing either, but I feel like I'm ruining your life. I'm so sorry. But -- if you could just talk to me about it. Please. So I could know what you are thinking. Please.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 7:19 pm

I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could fix it. I wish I wish I wish. There should be a way. I can't believe there isn't... I know, there isn't. I wish there was. This isn't fair.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 8:03 pm

please be gentle with me.

bus

Things Left Unsaid LA

damn, that felt good.

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