Before..I guess. Mainly just questions

[WhoAmI_NoOne]

I didnt answer the questions on the stickies. One because I dont have enough time to, and two, becasue I was kinda wanting to ask some questions of my own. I was just curious as to why I cut myself, and it feels ok, like I didnt do anything wrong or out of norm, but then, afterwards, i am ashamed of my scars, and hide them, and even when I look back at them, after they have healed, I am repulsed that I did it, but that doesnt stop me from doing it again? And why that sometimes, when I cut, I cant even feel it, but then other times, I can, and it stings? This may be the wrong place to aske these things, but I thought it was right. I am sorry if I was wrong. You dont have to answer, I was just curious if anyone could..Thanks for listening.

[ChaseThisLight]

I know when I was in the thick of my self injury, even though I was repulsed after, I would still end up cutting again, because in the state of mind I was in it didn't matter what the end result was. And I do remember a few times when I was cutting that I didn't feel it all. I think it completely depends on the mindset you are in at the time. Those are my answers...but perhaps you can think about your own questions and come up with your own answers?

[plantt]

*nods* i'd agree with notmardy... at times most of my brain can think something seems like a great idea... then later i can know that it really wasn't such a good idea...
feeling/not feeling while si'ing.. for me much of that is because i have issues with physical sensations. other times it's more because i'm dissociating. usually i don't feel.
what are the answers that you've found for your questions?

[WhoAmI_NoOne]

Thank you notmardy and plantt. My answers...I am not too sure. I mean, I always think about it when I see the scars, about why I did it, even though I dont like the end result, but I never understood why I would always go back. Even now I want to go back, but I try hard not to. I guess what you guys say about the mind set makes perfect sense. And the not feelings bit...well, I dont think I know enough of the human body to really understand, or event he human mind. I guess if I get to a low enough point while I SI, I guess even pain cant hurt me as much as how I am hurting myself in my thoughts? But that is only my guess. (I havent SI in almost a month! *feels good about self* lol, sorry, just wanted to add some type of humor..)

[ChaseThisLight]

A month is a wonderful amount of time. It's okay to be proud of yourself. Try to really think about those answers...I know when I really think about why I want to SI that it's a big deterrent for me. Perhaps it will work the same for you?

[WhoAmI_NoOne]

Lol. Thank you. I will think of those questions more. I hope its as well as it does for you. Thank you very much