Social anxiety

LT · Post by LT » Sun Feb 20, 2005 2:22 pm

I'm just wondering if theres anyone out there who suffers from this aswell as me, mine started from just normal anxiety and then lead onto this, now i hardly go out and i've found dealing with people a lot harder i've always been shy but with this ontop it justs makes it near to impossible.

Green Beauty · Post by **Green Beauty** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 10:04 pm

I can sympathise (spelling?) with you on this one. I myself only go out if i am going to be around my freinds, i find it difficult if there are people who i dont know around me.

Sometimes i find it traumatic being around my own freinds and even speaking to them as i feel inadequate. Like yourself i am very shy. And i also suffer from a huge lack of self confidense which links hand in hand with shyness.

Your post doesnt seem to suggest why you suffer social anxiety but one would assume, from my personal experience, that it is because of the feeling as if you are worthless compared to others around you and so on. Please correct me if im wrong or expand on the first post. i would love to be able to help you out on this. If you want feel free to pm me.

Oh and by the way be yourself and try not to worry about what other people think of you :1hug3:

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 12:49 am

I am getting over it pretty much now but about a year ago I was too afraid to leave the house because I didn't know what to do if people talked to me, I was so afarid of that situation (prob. more than dying). People would ask what I as afraid of, I would just say "People"

*Stella* · Post by ***Stella*** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 2:50 am

Hi LT. I too started with generalized anxiety (and infrequent panic attacks) that has just in the last 6 mos escalated to include bad social anxiety and much more frequent panic attacks. I now cannot bear to go to work (where I only work 1 day a week!) without taking a xanax first. I know how you feel. It's scary to know that I am getting worse for no apparent reason. I even have a hard time going to the store or hanging with my best friends. I don't know anyone with these problems that I have. I am new to the board and it is great to be able to talk to others who can identify. Are you currently seeking any help for your anxiety? Meds? I only have the xanax for the panic attacks but not enough to cover the constant daily anxiety, and am considering therapy. Would be interested to know how anyone else has gotten relief?

LT · Post by LT » Mon Feb 21, 2005 11:14 pm

Hey welcome to BUS for some reason its tradition for a cow

Anyway i'm on anti depressants at the moment which seem to be working alright i'm also in counselling which isn't bad either i suppose would prefer a wonder drug that'll take everything away. I haven't really looked for help with social anxiety just talking with my counsellor about it but i may start to soon, ask him if there are treatments around which help. I also do these relaxation exercises to help with my anxiety which aren't bad either. If you ever wanna talk about it then just PM i'm more than happy to help.

*Stella* · Post by ***Stella*** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 11:28 pm

Thanks for the cow LT! I know I need some kind of help but I have too much anxiety to call my doctor for a referral to a therapist. I'm too scared to get help, too scared all the time to not have help....fun!

What are your relaxation techniques like? I don't know if I could relax enough to relax if you know what I mean? Anyway, I guess when my xanax runs out, I will have no choice but to call my general doc. I am trying to make my last 10 pills last.....to put it all off you see..I met someone who tried Paxil for social anxiety and said it "basically" works for him. I had a bad experience with Paxil though...Somehow the theory behind why/how antidepressants work doesn't really make sense with anxiety. It seems like they just want more people to sell them too!

LT · Post by LT » Mon Feb 21, 2005 11:41 pm

I don't think my social anxiety is as bad as yours but my relaxation techniques aint bad, i'll PM them to you and anyone else that wants them. The anti depressants started changing my mood and so i feel abit more relaxed in goin out but i don't do it a lot. Therapy i think could help you and you should just go for it and not think about it too much, i felt a right idiot goin into my doctors to say i was depressed and stuff but i'm glad i did it because i am dealing with things.

Sarita · Post by **Sarita** » Sun Mar 27, 2005 5:17 am

i do. i used to be really outgoing in 1st grade, then i got shy, then it just went downward from there. now i can't even walk across a room with three or four people in it because i can imagine them all staring at me and saying nasty things. i can't force myself to do anything that involves being in front or even around people anymore because i'm too afraid of the people. my mind spirals out of reason and just barages me with insults and degrading things...it's horrible, i can hardly even talk to friends anymore without feeling that. i'd love to hear your techniques if they really work...as long as they don't include medications because my mom refuses them completely...

mallie · Post by **mallie** » Sun Mar 27, 2005 5:27 am

LT, It would be great if you could post your relaxation tips here, for people to reference later

Sarita, are you in therapy at all ?

- Mallie

Sarita · Post by **Sarita** » Sun Mar 27, 2005 5:52 am

no, i'm afraid and extremely paranoid of t's and councillors...i hate them and it would make me feel out of line to ask for one.

mallie · Post by **mallie** » Sun Mar 27, 2005 2:23 pm

Sarita wrote:no, i'm afraid and extremely paranoid of t's and councillors...i hate them and it would make me feel out of line to ask for one.

T's and counsellors are just people. There are good ones and bad ones. I'd urge you not to dismiss it as something that can't be done ever, even if it is something that you can't do now.

Have you found anything that helps with the insults in your mind ? Asking for reassurance from a friend ? Being able to recognise that it isn't true?

Sarita · Post by **Sarita** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 5:33 am

i can think it's not true all i want and i do try but it just gets overwhelming. i can't not think about it and how much worse it is...i hate fishing for compliments, i couldn't ask someone to refute that because they're probably thinking the same things. even my friends. i would hope it wasn't true but i don't think i could ever seriously believe that, it would be naive.

mallie · Post by **mallie** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 1:07 am

I understand if you can't directly ask.

Directly asking for support or reassurance is not the same as fishing for compliments. Try to remember that other peoples opinions of us aren't usually the same as how we feel about ourselves.

Emily0493 · Post by **Emily0493** » Thu Mar 31, 2005 3:45 am

i do i hand out with 2 people my friends stephen and mike but i dont anyone else and i dont think i will

lonelygirl · Post by **lonelygirl** » Thu Mar 31, 2005 10:08 pm

i rarely leave my house and when i do im with my parents...

dee_flc · Post by **dee_flc** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 5:22 am

I am terrified to be around people that I don't know. It's strange because I used to be so outgoing. I could talk to anyone about anything, but it's impossible for me now. I don't know why. Even in a situation where I do know some people, I'm still really uncomfortable and would never start a conversation. For example, I started a new school in Sep, and up until I left in Jan, I spoke one line to one person. That was it.

Lonelygirl, similar to you, if and when I go out, its always with my parents or my brother. I think for me, it's because I trust them and know they won't leave me and know how to help me if I have a panic attack. I've never had that level of trust with someone outside my family.

Dee

LT · Post by LT » Fri Apr 01, 2005 9:37 pm

Sorry i haven't been on this part of the board for awhile. Right i'll track down where i put my relaxation sheets and post them tomoorw but basically they come in stages, i got showed these by my counsellor, the first stage is to tense muscles and relax them so that your body understand how it feels being relaxed, the next stage is doing it without tensing your muscles so its a mind exercise and these go on until you do it quite quickly. I found these did help abit in the end just to generally relax.

Copasetic · Post by **Copasetic** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 8:53 am

I've always had some level of social anxiety, I think.. whether it affected me strongly or not. Lately it's been a lot worse. Somedays I'm perfectly fine, but on others I find it hard to leave my room at all.

I find that it's not so bad unless I'm thrust upon some sort of social situation that I hadn't planned for and thought about ahead of time. I find that I get really nervous and aggitated if I'm suddenly expected to do group work in a class, or if I'm approached by someone I don't know and they try to initiate conversation.

mallie · Post by **mallie** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 10:57 am

Thanks LT. I look forward to reading your exercises, they sound like useful things to learn.

Has anyone else found anything that helps with social anxiety, or anxiety more generally, that could be useful ?

LT · Post by LT » Sat Apr 02, 2005 7:59 pm

Right this one i found quite helpful,
Sit so your quite relaxed,
start breathing slowly do this about for a minute,
breathe in and out slowly hold for 3seconds and then out do this about 5 times,
repeat the above but hold in for 5 seconds and then out,
now starting from your head on every out breathe relax that area - when you breathe out feel that area relaxing.
do this beginning with your forehead, eyes, lips, tongue, throat
then shoulders, arms, stomach, buttocks, legs and feet
At the end breathe in and hold for 5 seconds and breathe out slowly and feel your whole body relaxing.
I think this should take about 5 - 10 minutes
Do each part separtely and at the end scan your body for any tension if there is go to that part and either tense it an relax it or just repeat the breathing and relaxing that area.
PM if anyone wants to ask and questions, hope you found that useful.

Lee

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