After

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

Moderator: treasure

Post Reply
User avatar
Dungeon_Lilly
driving instructor
driving instructor
Posts: 5571
Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2003 2:44 pm
Location: Halfway To Sanity (SW London and Surrey)
Contact:

After

Post by Dungeon_Lilly » Wed Mar 23, 2005 12:48 am

what had happened just before?
I came home from my bfs, and had problems at the station then I met my friend in town then went home

what were you thinking and feeling?
I was angry at myself and station staff

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was teh final straw? what was it?
I've never been in that situation, I felt angry and humiliated, I wanted to punish myself for being stupid

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events thatled up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decisiona nd not arrived at the final straw. I just felt so stupid I felt I deserved to SI, I could have bought a ticket half way but I didn't want to because it would make me late


were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
No

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried to calm down but I couldn't stop thinking how stupid id been

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Probaly not

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
Hopefuly I wont be in the same situation but if something makes me that angry when i'm out then try to calm down before going home, try not to dwell on it so much.

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution? Technically it's resolved but i'm still angry at myself


are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
I get angry alot


what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
Talk to my friend
Talk to my bf
Come on BUS
<center>

I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality

:tslug:

:dkpurpstar: :purpstar: :lpurpstar:

plantt
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 16078
Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2002 3:59 pm
Contact:

Post by plantt » Wed Mar 23, 2005 3:55 am

i'm not really sure how coherent i am atm. apologies if this doesn't make much sense. reread.
I've never been in that situation, I felt angry and humiliated, I wanted to punish myself for being stupid
how could you have challenged the thoughts you were having about you being stupid?
it sounds like the main thing that led to you si'ing was feeling angry. have you found things that help you deal with feeling angry? what would you be willing to try? as i'm sure you know... anger is a feeling & not specific to any one situation... how could you help yourself learn to deal more healthfully with feeling angry?
I tried to calm down but I couldn't stop thinking how stupid id been
what did you to to try and calm down?
thoughts are just thoughts... not concrete reality... not permanent...
Talk to my friend
Talk to my bf
Come on BUS
what's something you could do on your own... if your friend & bf aren't available... or if BUS is down?

User avatar
pretty
board admin emeritus
board admin emeritus
Posts: 8689
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2003 7:43 pm
Location: middle of england

Post by pretty » Wed Mar 23, 2005 1:32 pm

Hey Lilly.

If you're still angry it doesn't sound like the situation is really resolved. Dealing with anger can be really hard. It's so easy to just put it to the back of your mind, where it'll just sit and bug you til next time, then it'll all just be worse. Doing something really active can help, be it exercise or beating up a pillow, just taking out your frustration in a way that doeesn't harm you.

If anger is a recurring problem, it might be worth trying to find a way to deal with it, a way to calm yourself down which works for you.

Try to give yourself a break, we all do stupid things, it doesn't make us stupid. Seperating the way you act from the way you are is really hard, but makes a huge difference. You can act like a moron without it making you a moron.

For what it's worth, I don't think you're stupid. I think you're great :)
'this is what she says gets her through it,
"if I don't let myself be happy now, then when?"' - jimmy eat world

place

User avatar
Dungeon_Lilly
driving instructor
driving instructor
Posts: 5571
Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2003 2:44 pm
Location: Halfway To Sanity (SW London and Surrey)
Contact:

Post by Dungeon_Lilly » Thu Mar 24, 2005 3:42 am

plantt wrote:
I've never been in that situation, I felt angry and humiliated, I wanted to punish myself for being stupid
how could you have challenged the thoughts you were having about you being stupid?
I could have let it go, it was over and there was nothing I could do about it.
plantt wrote: it sounds like the main thing that led to you si'ing was feeling angry. have you found things that help you deal with feeling angry? what would you be willing to try? as i'm sure you know... anger is a feeling & not specific to any one situation... how could you help yourself learn to deal more healthfully with feeling angry?
I haven't found much to help me with anger I find it the hardest thing to control, sometimes if listen to loud shoutey music and scream along it helps but thats not always practical.

Things i'd be willing to try, um excersize, writing, mabey i'll destroy an old pair of jeans or something.
plantt wrote:
I tried to calm down but I couldn't stop thinking how stupid id been
what did you to to try and calm down?
thoughts are just thoughts... not concrete reality... not permanent...
I talked to my friend, walked around town for a bit
plantt wrote:
Talk to my friend
Talk to my bf
Come on BUS
what's something you could do on your own... if your friend & bf aren't available... or if BUS is down?
Write in my diary
Excersize
<center>

I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality

:tslug:

:dkpurpstar: :purpstar: :lpurpstar:

User avatar
Dungeon_Lilly
driving instructor
driving instructor
Posts: 5571
Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2003 2:44 pm
Location: Halfway To Sanity (SW London and Surrey)
Contact:

Post by Dungeon_Lilly » Thu Mar 24, 2005 4:22 am

notevenpretty wrote:Hey Lilly.

If you're still angry it doesn't sound like the situation is really resolved. Dealing with anger can be really hard. It's so easy to just put it to the back of your mind, where it'll just sit and bug you til next time, then it'll all just be worse. Doing something really active can help, be it exercise or beating up a pillow, just taking out your frustration in a way that doeesn't harm you.

If anger is a recurring problem, it might be worth trying to find a way to deal with it, a way to calm yourself down which works for you.

Try to give yourself a break, we all do stupid things, it doesn't make us stupid. Seperating the way you act from the way you are is really hard, but makes a huge difference. You can act like a moron without it making you a moron.

For what it's worth, I don't think you're stupid. I think you're great :)
Thank you Pretty

I have tried some things to deal with anger but haven't found anything usful, i'll keep trying tho
<center>

I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality

:tslug:

:dkpurpstar: :purpstar: :lpurpstar:

User avatar
pretty
board admin emeritus
board admin emeritus
Posts: 8689
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2003 7:43 pm
Location: middle of england

Post by pretty » Thu Mar 24, 2005 6:18 pm

Dungeon_Lilly wrote:I have tried some things to deal with anger but haven't found anything usful, i'll keep trying tho
That's all you can do. Hang in there :)
'this is what she says gets her through it,
"if I don't let myself be happy now, then when?"' - jimmy eat world

place

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 25 guests