after (2 weeks 2 days gone)

[save_me_from_myself]

# have you taken care of your physiacl wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
yup. all bandaged up
# what had happened just before?
I told my bbf about my si
# what were you thinking and feeling?
i was scared he would end things, scared he wouldnt talk to me
# why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was teh final straw? what was it?
well he was perfectly fine with it but my feelings didnt go, so i let them out
# how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events thatled up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decisiona nd not arrived at the final straw.
well i told him and i woz really worried but then he was fine with it so if i had mabey removed myself so as i could feel relief.
# were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
nope. fully awake and drug free
# what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I talked 2 a m8, i drew all over myself wiv red pen. i palyed drums
# in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I should have removed myself from this room/ house and helped my feelings change with the change of surrounding
# name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
i will remember that feelings can be realated to situations/ senery
# how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
im not too sure. he seems ok but ill let him sleep on it. i do feel better emotionaly now.
# are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Yes, everytime i try to tell someone. i will make sure there are othjer people around to support me and a place for me 2 go
# what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying. Leave the room. talk to someone new. change the subject.

[kurdt_kobain]

It can be really hard to talk to someone and come out as a SIer. It's a part of you, and even if you're struggling to change it, it still hurts like hell to have someone else not accept it. So first off, you did a good thing taking the risk and telling him. I'm pretty sure he appericates that you trusted him enough.

You SIed because you felt tense, right? You were scared and nervous and from what I can understand, you stayed in the location where you told him?

I can understand how that tension doesn't go away. Sometimes I worry so hard up that X is going to happen and it's going to be awful that when X finally happens, the worry doesn't go away. It just stays as a curled up ball of energy and tension in my body. Is that what it felt like?

Because all that emotion, worry, is is tension. And all tension is is energy. One of the things that might help you is to yell in a pillow or beat the hell out of a punching bag. I've always found that getting a good dose of exercise when I'm really nervous helps a lot--and it gets you in better shape, which is a plus.

Just remember to take care of yourself. Do you think you could talk to your bf about this and how worried you were? He might be able to reassure you.

Or are those emotions so far gone in the past that you shouldn't drag them up?

[save_me_from_myself]

first of all thanks for replying.

You SIed because you felt tense, right? You were scared and nervous and from what I can understand, you stayed in the location where you told him?

I guess it was because i was tense, just needed to calm myself down. I told him over the fone. I know many people wont agree with this but i felt that way i still tell him in person, but give him time to tink bout it on his own. I called him from my house and i remained here all that night. yes. Should I have gone out or something? Would that have helped?

I can understand how that tension doesn't go away. Sometimes I worry so hard up that X is going to happen and it's going to be awful that when X finally happens, the worry doesn't go away. It just stays as a curled up ball of energy and tension in my body. Is that what it felt like?

Thats exactly what happens. I worry about something, thinking the worse then when it doesnt go quite as bad as i had thought the feeling dosent go, it just stays there niggling at me as if i summond it for no reason. it wont go away unless i do something about it.

Because all that emotion, worry, is is tension. And all tension is is energy. One of the things that might help you is to yell in a pillow or beat the hell out of a punching bag. I've always found that getting a good dose of exercise when I'm really nervous helps a lot--and it gets you in better shape, which is a plus.

Thanks, ill keep this in mind next time i find myself in a simular situation

Just remember to take care of yourself. Do you think you could
talk to your bf about this and how worried you were? He might be able to reassure you.
Or are those emotions so far gone in the past that you shouldn't drag them up?

I'll be seeing him soon and he said wed talk then. kinda scared about this too because ive never really spoken openly about SI. I really care for him though and trust him to respect me.

Thanks for replying. youve helped my channel of thought. take care xx