Things Left Unsaid *LA*

QuietPurr · Post by **QuietPurr** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 1:33 am

P - If you say one more thing to me about that damned incentive, I'm going to take one of the spatulas and stab your eyes out with it. Shut up, go away, and let us do our damn jobs.

S - Thank you very much, for everything you've done. I'm sorry I'm too much of a chicken-shit to actually say that to you.

bright.eyes · Post by **bright.eyes** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 9:35 pm

i fucking hate all of you you've made me feel like crap

Priceless · Post by **Priceless** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 10:03 pm

Love me?

xanemicroyaltyx · Post by **xanemicroyaltyx** » Tue Mar 15, 2005 9:37 pm

fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou

bright.eyes · Post by **bright.eyes** » Tue Mar 15, 2005 10:31 pm

i hate myself so much for giving in like this, but i hate you more for making me feel like this

nirvana · Post by **nirvana** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 5:10 am

i want to be with you. and i want you to not care about me. but i don't want to be worthless. it was sex and it was fine. that's all i wanted. then it became more and it's nice but it's complicated and i don't want it anymore. but now that i have it, i can't live without it.

i want to feel. anything at all. because i hate the fact that everyone else has all these emotions and i'm so completely numb to the world that i can't cry, and i can't think straight, and i'm totally empty. it's not fair. and i can't bring myself back, or fix any of these things. it's frustrating to see people crying and getting emotional, and want that so badly, but i can't do it. not even when i try. i can't get emotional over things, i don't know how. like i'm thinking all the same things i would think if i could get upset, but it's all staying inside and i can't get it out.

and i do realize when i get in these moods. i know i'm in one right now. i wish it had a name, and i wish i understood it. and that i didn't hurt people when i became like this. but i do, even when i don't mean to.

i've felt happy, i know i can feel that sometimes. i just don't remember it when i'm upset like this. i don't remember anything, i can't feel that happiness anymore. and when i'm happy, i can't feel this either. it's like being two people, but neither one seems real. i don't make sense.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 5:31 am

I can't talk to you anymore, and I don't know why. We used to be so close. You were the only person I opened up to. And now I can't and I don't know why. I want so much to go back to how it used to be.

(*Haven*) · Post by **(*Haven*)** » Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:18 am

M.H.~~~I hate you so much, for the way you've treated me and the way you've made me feel. I know you don't know that you've done this to me. But you'll know soon. And I hope it makes you feel like crap. I hope I make you feel like you've made me feel so many fucking times! I've become the strong one through all this. Yes, I've cut because of you. Yes, I've attempted to kill myself because of you....twice. You've hurt me one too many times now. I shouldn't have to fucking call you....You can pick up the fucking phone too. That's why I don't speak to you anymore. Because it's not the fucking one way road you seem to think it is. Just because I pushed you away doesn't mean you have to wait for me to come running back. It takes two here hon.

And don't think I'm going to try to work things out with you. I've tried too many times to work things out with people and the more I keep trying the more they revert back to the way they were. And then I get treated like crap all over again. And that's not fair. My life is not worth the friendship you seem to think we have. I want to live....And you are restricting me from living. As long as you're part of my life, I am not living. I don't even feel human. I feel like a knifeblock for all the knives you've stuck in my back...And we're not talking small ones here. We're talking big chef knives.

So, I don't think it should take you too long to forget about me. You've done a good enough job already.

~Haven~

Wall · Post by **Wall** » Thu Mar 17, 2005 5:48 am

I: I'm so sorry. There's no excuse for my behavior. I am under stress, but that certainly doesn't make my actions anywhere near right. I am very sorry.

H: Please don't do this to our family. Please don't let your desire for your personal pleasure ruin everything. We can't do this; we shouldn't try. You believe you deserve the best. Every time you've chased after your personal desire for what you believe you deserve, it's hurt us. Please don't do this again. Please.

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Fri Mar 18, 2005 6:01 am

S- please contact me? please please please. i'm so scared...i can't deal with being tossed aside anymore. i know i count for nothing, but i need you, and other IRL people to tell me otherwise. i put trust in you, and i'm starting to think you're breaking it. please don't hurt me. please don't make me think your letter was a lie.

ok, i'm fucking weak...but i need you to just take that little step to help me.

s- ok, truth? i reallty want you to really care.

J- if i hurt your feelings, i'm sorry ok. you annoy me, but it wasn't personal, i just didn't want to see anyone AT ALL. so don't put me on a fucking guilt trip, because i apologised with a decent excuse.

bright.eyes · Post by **bright.eyes** » Fri Mar 18, 2005 6:14 pm

you have no idea how much you're annoying me. after saturday, i don't want to ever be anywhere near you again, i don't want to see you, don't want you to ever try and touch me again... so STOP asking to meet up. can't you get the message? how can you think you've done nothing wrong after saturday and we're going to carry on going out? it's so wrong to try and do that to someone, and you've made me feel shit and SI.. and i hate you for it so just please stay away from me.

~bluehaze~ · Post by **~bluehaze~** » Fri Mar 18, 2005 9:57 pm

I'll never be able to stop loving you

magebaby · Post by **magebaby** » Sun Mar 20, 2005 2:40 pm

stop screwing around with my stuff! why do you have to be such a fucking control freak with no consideration for other people's time or commitments or belongings? the least you could hazve done was talk to me before making the decision, but instead you jsut couldn't be arsed to even tell me about it until a month later, and then denied that anything was your problem or that you had done anything wrong. for fuck's sake, it wouldn't have killed you to have dropped me a line to let me know. and it wouldn't kill you to be a little more considerate of people. and you could fucking well learn to say sorry occasionally.

--
mage

~bluehaze~ · Post by **~bluehaze~** » Sun Mar 20, 2005 4:35 pm

Please fucking leave me alone.
I dont want to be friends with you.

Wall · Post by **Wall** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 3:29 am

I don't know how you can say those things with a straight face. Are you as much of a fraud as you seem or are you clueless? Have you fooled even yourself? I am truly amazed that you would define success as the ability to identify those people who can help you and cater to them while ignoring or stepping on anyone else. I'm sad for you, that you're driven so much that you care for others so little -- all the while putting on a mask as an intensely caring human being. I pity you the day you truly see yourself.

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 10:36 pm

i hate hate hate.
i've turned into hate.
i hate you.
and i hate the person i love most.
and i hate myself. i'd kill myself because i hate and i don't want to live with such hate.

i wish i could say goodbye, and then i'd be gone.

(*Haven*) · Post by **(*Haven*)** » Tue Mar 22, 2005 5:15 am

C.B~Okay, so what made you decide to come to my room at 3 AM this morning? Why can't you ever come to my room when I actually need you? Not when I'm trying to sleep! Okay, so you didn't know....But geesh...Why can't you come by when you notice that I'm not alright? Why can't you come by when I actually need someone to sit with me? When all I want to do it hurt myself and I end up suffering through another night alone? What drove you to do that? Where you really that interested in what I had hanging in my window? If you only knew what I was really hiding....The pain and the need to be loved and cared for....That I'm hiding things in my room that could kill me....And that the only person that can save me is my T....But I'm so scared to turn to her right now because I don't want her to worry about me.

D.B.~I wish I could tell you right now everything that I am feeling. That I'm hurting inside and I'm hurting myself worse than ever....That I got new tools today and I've already found a friend in them. None of this is your fault. I just don't want you to worry about me because I know you do that alot already. I know you probably worry about me each time I walk out of your office until I either call you or I come back in. I wish you could see how much I was hurting. I wish I could call you. I wish I could tell you. But I'm waiting for you to call. With hopes that someone does cancel an appointment this week, that I can be a little selfish and I can get there and I can see you and I can talk to you about everything! You need to know how I feel about therapy, that I've wanted to quit, but I know I can't just up and quit. I know you'd want answer. That's why I wrote you that note when I was going through a really tough time. Because I didn't know what was going to happen to me and I wanted you to know. I still want to talk to you about that note. I need to get some closure on it. Because I have no idea what you think about it. And I need to know. I need some answers from you. You don't know how much you mean to me. How much you've helped me, how much better I've gotten since we started working together in late August. I'm actually working with you, not just going along. I'm bring up ideas for us to work on together. As long as it has me writing, I'm good for it. I never let anyone read my writing....But I've opened up to you. No one had read anything in my journals until I shared those few pages with you. Because I knew it would help. And I knew you'd say something nice about it and actually mean it. Not just add some fluff. I need you. But I'm afraid. I can't come in and see anyone else. I need to talk to you. You're the only one that will help me. And I don't know if I can hang on till next Thursday. I just don't know....

N.G.~I miss you. I hope you aren't...Gone. Life has been hard....We haven't spoken for what, two weeks now? Has it really been that long? Each day keeps getting harder. I want you to be okay, but I just don't know I can go about finding that out. Because you're so far away from me. And I can't get to you. Just like you could never get to me when I was feeling so much the same way. I miss you.....I want you to be okay.....

lost down here · Post by **lost down here** » Tue Mar 22, 2005 8:34 pm

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

treat me with some fucking respect, what the fuck have i ever done to disrespect you, fucking NOTHING, i've been nothing but perfect to you, FUCK YOU

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Tue Mar 22, 2005 9:40 pm

you knw why dad left you? because i couldnt put up with you either. i dont blame him. i blame you because i'd leave you too
.
I HATE YOU SO BADLY.
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. AND YOUR FUCKING SHIT WAYS. I HATE YOU MUM.

demidivine · Post by **demidivine** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 12:08 am

this is the closest i've been to deciding not to cut ever. thank you.

bus

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