SUCKY EMOTIONS with a side of urges

[VowsOfSadness]

I don't want to hurt myself, you know I really don't but i have urges telling me to ignore that. I finally made it a week (and one day if I make it today) and my friends all celebrated, it made me smile, I like sticking stickers on my little calandar, every night I get to pick one "hard worker," "WOW", I dunno it's pathetic but I like it.

I'm having a friends problem, or mor like lack therof, this one friendship that was so close has just finally disintigrated. He used to be the one holding on and I was like "just let go" no I'm holding on for dear life I'm so desperate, I dunno what I need in him now. (yes I do, support) Now I'm trying to find it in a girl, like she can solve my problems, looking for a compainion anywhere even though I have a few.

Having so many sucky emotions, just been a LONG time since I had to deal w/this kind of pain (because SI would take it away) now I'm feeling weak (as in a character flaw) like if I keep up not SI-ing I'm just gonna get weaker, I know this must be wrong somehow (CBT or sumthin) but I just can't crack it while Im so down.

[Space_Man]

…I dunno what I need in him now. (yes I do, support) Now I'm trying to find it in a girl, like she can solve my problems…

On the one hand, you sound like you realize that “supportiveness” is as much as you can ever hope to get from friends. On the other hand, however, you sound like a part of you wants the one friend (the “girl”) to “solve” all your problems…and thats not something that even the best therapist on the planet can do.

[prettyvacant]

It's not sad! The stickers rock my world! I have little coloured ones... Hope things start looking up...

pv

[VowsOfSadness]

Lol thanks for the stickers comment it made me laugh

and thank you spaceman I think your right about that.