Should We Have To Hide?

LingeringShadow · Post by **LingeringShadow** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:59 pm

I've been in the mindset that my cuts and my burns and my scars should stay hidden for as long as I've been doing this. But now that my family knows, now that I may actually have to face it and get professional help I have to wonder...Why am I still hiding? Is it fair that we should wear long sleeves and long pants and such to cover up who we are? I don't want to draw attention to myself, but sometimes it seems like I'm doing this out of shame. And I don't want to be ashamed of who I am anymore. And yet everytime I have let my wounds show, the people who do know what I do get pissed at me for doing that. It doesn't seem fair, but maybe hiding is just what comes with being a self-injurer?
What do you think? Should we hide them? Or should we show them if we feel like it?

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 4:55 am

I wear short sleeves and for the most part have been met with kindness. My scars (even if only formed recently or 3 yrs ago) are something that I just don't feel like getting into to w/any stranger on the street. It's not that I'm ashamed when I go out if I wear short sleeves it just all depends on how I feel, sometimes it's not that I'm ashamed just taht that is not the FIRST impression I want to give. Especially if maybe I am thinking about meeting someone. I'm not hiding it I just don't feel it's everyone elses buisness.

SO for the most part I wear a hoodie (a comfort object) and sometimes shortsleeves with the only exception being when I have recently SI'd I don't know why its as if out of curtosy I cover up then.

It's all up to u hun, if you want to bera your arms that is your right.

Tamrick · Post by **Tamrick** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 12:00 pm

I wear short sleeves but have still not been able to go back to shorts even in the hottest weather. I have a few noticeable scars on my arms, but no one asks about them and I see many people in my job who should notice them.
I don't think it has to do with fairness though. I think each person is an individual. Obviously we should take others into consideration, but as far as our own bodies go and what we wear, I think the choice is ours.

save_me_from_myself · Post by **save_me_from_myself** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 8:35 pm

some times i get the urge just to show my scars but i never have the guts. i really admire all you that do. hopefully sometime ill find the strength. take care xx

limestone · Post by **limestone** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 6:32 pm

save_me_from_myself wrote:some times i get the urge just to show my scars but i never have the guts. i really admire all you that do. hopefully sometime ill find the strength. take care xx

^^ I agree with this. Sometimes I just want to pull up my sleeves when not at home, and then I think, hmm, probably not the best idea, but I still want to.

Ideally, we should be able to not worry about what others think, but it can be important to consider. So, it just depends on the circumstances I would imagine.

Post by **treasure** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 3:17 am

i'm reasonably comfortable with si and scars but i'm not comfortable with "me" as a whole. so if ppl see my scars and pity me or judge me or anything, i feel silly cos i don't deserve pity and i don't want to be judged. i guess hiding is also a way to stay distant from ppl? sometimes i show my scars but only if with ppl i feel accept *me* (and si as a part of that)

thebrightside · Post by **thebrightside** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 8:25 pm

I think if you have the guts, then there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to wear short sleeves or whatever. I sometimes want to, but never can get up the courage.

limestone · Post by **limestone** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:16 pm

viewtopic.php?t=73267

^^ is an interesting thread about scars and public etc.

angel1 · Post by **angel1** » Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:01 pm

I generally don't cover up my scars because they are part of who I am and I beleive people should respect you for who you are. I have not been asked many questions from strangers about them.

Love Angel xxx

Agarwaen · Post by **Agarwaen** » Sun Feb 27, 2005 9:51 am

I wish I had the courage/apathy or whatever to show my scars in public and not worry about long sleeves anymore. They're not even that "severe", so I don't know what I'm so scared of. I guess it's people's reactions, like if they see them and ask me about it. I'd be at a loss for words. But to hell with the world, I think. If you want to show your scars then do it. And you do it for yourself, because you're comfortable with it. It's not our "duty" to cover up if we don't want to.

joliebird · Post by **joliebird** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 7:46 pm

I've spent so much of my life "hiding" ("Put on a happy face; act like everything is okay, even if it isn't" was something I learned very early on in my life), that I'm sick of doing it. When I was 24, and FINALLY went into psychiatric treatment (which pissed my parents off ROYALLY, btw), I decided that I wasn't going to hide anymore. Of course, I "hid" behing drinking and drugs for two more years, until I was 26. Now, I'm not hiding behing ANYTHING, though people sometimes accuse me of "hiding" behing my illnesses....why would I want to cover things up with things that are so insidious and potentially deadly? It just doesn't make sense to me when my family says that. Grrrrr....families.

I gave my mom--I didn't even BOTHER with my dad-- the link to the section of the board for family & friends, but I doubt she'll look at it. She's big into denial, even though she's seen my cuts/scars/burns. I can still hope, though, right?

But, right now is my journey to figure out who MANDY really is, NO MORE HIDING. My therapist says he can help me with that, but, ultimately, I'm the one who has to do the work, of course.

--Mandy

bus

Should We Have To Hide?

Should We Have To Hide?

Hiding...

Who is online