theres no help when u want it we aren't treated with respect

my own disaster · Post by **my own disaster** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 2:25 am

i've been seeing a councler now and i know i should be getting help and i know i want help for si but i'm having a really hard time..with the fact that my parents found out i'm SI'ing...they are always asking me if i SI'ed today or last night every sec they get to....and they are always asking me if i am ok..and they keep taking away my tools i know that they love me and they are just doing what they think needs to be done..but most of the time it just trigs it more...and i wanna find anything and everything to to Si with ....i just feel almost like ashamed when they talk to me about it but yet i'm not ashamed of it if you can understand that...they are trying to put me into a hospital...and now that my C and my parents have talked me into it..can you believe theres nothing around my area to get help unless i try Su...witch i have and am having thoughts...but even with that you can't get help unless you try it...they just say talk to your C...well sorry but i only see her once a week for a hour....she can't be there all the time...or work with me for a long period of a time...i just think its funny how cutters or ppl who si don't get any respect we are just like everyone else but dealing with things differently ya know...they only want help half the time when its to late...so when i come across ppl who want help of for now i want the help theres no one there to help who really knows how ..not just parents who sometimes make things worse cuz they don't know how to deal with it themselfs...i'm just so frusterated...yesterday i went to go visit one of my friends who tired SU...and somehow they did a assesment on me...and they told me that if i didn't wanna SU right then then i should just see my C and have her help me...well it's like ok i didn't then but what about when i go home..or the next day wouldn't you wanna help them before they do something that could not let them have help ever i just don't understand do ppl not think that its a big deal..the more i'm hearing all this about hospitals and how they wont take si ones in it makes me think hey maybe its not that serouis and it's ok that i do it.......so confused

LT · Post by LT » Sun Feb 20, 2005 11:17 pm

I can understand that a lot, it took me 6 weeks to finally meet with my councellor and i see him every two weeks. I have thought about SU in the past and have spoken about it all they say (councellor, doctor) is why didn't you do it, what stopped you which can be annoying. I wish there was a place for SI because at the moment i don't trust myself. I can relate with the parents making it hard only my mum knows that i do it but she occasionally asks if i'm doing it and i don't really wanna talk about it with her. Thing is when you go into hospital you may come out with the same issues as you did before and the SI might have only stopped for awhile its something we have to find away of stopping our selfs which at times is something i don't want to do. If you wanna chat then just PM me but i do undersatnd what your goin on about, mental health doesn't seem to be taken that seriously at times.

plantt · Post by **plantt** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 7:20 pm

what are you doing to make the best use of the hour a week you have with C?
i'm not sure what you mean by 'lack of respect'... it sounds like you have a lot of options available to you...

demidivine · Post by **demidivine** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:12 pm

i have similar. i have a lot of options, but i'm following them all up to the best of my ability and getting nowhere.

i've tried the uni services, who have put me on a three-month waiting list for group sessions. i've tried the doctors, who send me to a regularly-changing CPN who asks me constantly how i feel about my si and doesn't ask me questions about the causes of it. i consistently feel like people are trying to get rid of the symptoms of my depression, rather than at least helping me understand the underlying problems. the only options i've ever really been offered are drugs and unhelpful talking to someone that concentrates on the wrong thing. maybe another su attempt would do something.

plantt · Post by **plantt** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:17 pm

who asks me constantly how i feel about my si and doesn't ask me questions about the causes of it.

what have you done to volunteer the causes?

rather than at least helping me understand the underlying problems.

have you mentioned this to all of them?

demidivine · Post by **demidivine** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:21 pm

you're right, i haven't done so much. i try to talk. but it reverts back to the si. somehow its a lot easier for doctors etc. to talk about such an immediate problem, rather than my wishywashy self hate and fear. i will try more, it's just, i cant seem to find any counsellors. i'm on three perpetual waiting lists.

thebrightside · Post by **thebrightside** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:24 pm

I know what you mean, it feels like its not treated as a problem, at least not in the same way as like eating disorders, which makes you feel like it isn't a problem. Everytime I try to find help, it's nowhere to be found, and it always discourages me from trying finding help again.

xx
CC

demidivine · Post by **demidivine** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:40 pm

it just makes me feel that i need to get worse to show that i need to get better, if you see what i mean. the constant form-filling of the NHS, their busyness, and the feeling that if you're not risking your life then you're not a priority. i feel sorry for the NHS and respect hugely what they do and the people that do it. but on a personal level, it's doing the opposite of what its meant to do for me.

theres no help when u want it we aren't treated with respect

theres no help when u want it we aren't treated with respect

Who is online