A coping survey for yourself

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Wed Feb 16, 2005 1:55 am

This I figure is more for your own use then for a post, a little thing to make you more aware of whats going on, like a quick refrence. If you think there should be anyother questions added PM me or just put them on. You don't have to post your answers or any answers you are uncomfortable with.

Name:
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI:
If so what is your motivation:
Favorite coping skills:
Coping skills that work the least:
Safe places you can go:
Identify stressors (be specific as poss):
If at school/work name good coping skills to use:
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general):
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free:
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd:
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss):
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one):

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Wed Feb 16, 2005 2:03 am

Name: AManda (vowsofsadness)
currently trying to reduce SI

Motivation: Not a healthy coping skill

fav coping skills: Before questions, rubber band, music, coloring, breaking ice.

coping skills that work the least: drwing on myself, 3 minutes game, ice cubes in my hands

Safe places: Grandma's house, BUS board

Stressors: grades dropping, SAT's scores, friends require more interaction and sometimes we don't get along, family disagreements. Not enough "me time" too much time at home alone

School: "self-appointed calm down", rubber band, colroing

saftey plan for school: Take "self-appointed 'calm-downs' if needed

currently SI'ing

Triggers: John, Bill (rarely but soemtimes) SI photos and stories, food, weight

No current contact friends (only a temp gregg)

Laura · Post by **Laura** » Wed Feb 16, 2005 2:36 am

I'll give this a try:

Name: Laura
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI:

Trying to stop.
If so what is your motivation:

The depression has got a lot better with meds, so basically trying to get rid of the other habits from back then and start a new life.
Favorite coping skills:

Posting about feelings, sleep, writing on self.
Coping skills that work the least:

The ones that are just daft things to do to delay/distract.
Safe places you can go:

Work, maybe visit a friend.
Identify stressors (be specific as poss):

A lot of last-minute deadlines. Making a mistake in public. Feeling trapped and seeing no way forward.
If at school/work name good coping skills to use:

Get away from desk - seek company in common room, or walk around college to library or whatever.
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general):

Don't have SI tools at work. Arrange to be safe after work, eg visit friend rather than going straight home.
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free:

90 days since last slip.
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd:

Hard to say, cos I had tried what coping things I could. Somehow I wanted them not to work, wanted an excuse to SI.

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss):

Seeing other people's SI, scars or pics unexpectedly. Reading graphic stuff I'm not prepared for. Finding that I can't get my mind to function the way it should. Social activities.
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): I have a list, but I seldom use it. Online is easier cos on the phone I sometimes just can't stop crying and that makes me feel worse.

Thanks Amanda

nirvana · Post by **nirvana** » Wed Feb 16, 2005 3:08 am

Name: tara

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: not actively.

If so what is your motivation: ... stop when i run out of places to do it.

Favorite coping skills: working out. sex (not good option). music. teddy bears. movies.

Coping skills that work the least: talking about it.

Safe places you can go: my bedroom. with friends.

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): people. lack of patience, easy frustration.

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: find gaelen. get hugs from her. breathe.

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): don't get physically alone; everything goes straight to hell.

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: one day.

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: it doesn't work anymore. i don't remember the last time it did. i need something more.

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): the word slut. my mistakes. people who lie to me.

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): gaelen. sarah. bill sometimes.

thank you for this.

kez999 · Post by **kez999** » Wed Feb 16, 2005 4:19 pm

Name: Kerry AKA kez999
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Yes
If so what is your motivation: I told a friend so i don't want to let him down
Favorite coping skills: Music, talking to a friend who understands, BUS
Coping skills that work the least: Si, keeping it to myself
Safe places you can go: College, i live on my own so theres no one there to stop me
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Exams, tests, stress realed to flat or living on own, friends in trouble, being worried about them
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: In college, visit BUS when i can
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Don't have one
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 4, very long, weeks
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: Talked to a friend
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Anything, sometimes i just feel like doing it
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): AK (best friend, hes si'd himself), Robin, Craig, Sandra and anyone on BUS, no one else knows because they wouldn't understand.

Thanx for this

Harlequin_Tears · Post by **Harlequin_Tears** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 8:09 pm

Name: Holly

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Trying to stop

If so what is your motivation: Don't want to hurt others by hurting myself

Favorite coping skills: Talking with my fiance, watching a movie, writing a letter

Coping skills that work the least: Crying, drawing

Safe places you can go: My fiance's house or my close friend's house

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): School, family, art project deadlines

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Talking with Alan or calling my school counselor

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Do not be alone

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 2 weeks

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: I need to learn to control myself rather than letting go and turning straight to SI

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Going hom for the weekend (I live at school, adoption, seeing Alan (my fiance) upset or mad

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one):Alan, Alan's mother, Becky, Kelly, Ingrid

marylou · Post by **marylou** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 1:33 pm

Name: marylou
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Trying to stop, most days anyway.
If so what is your motivation: I don't want to live like this anymore. Want to rely on God. Don't want to still be SHing when I have kids etc.
Favorite coping skills: Taking a hot shower, drawing on myself with red pen, listening to music, calling/meeting friends.
Coping skills that work the least: Working through urges, analysing them. It just gets me more focussed on SH, frustrates me and makes me want to SH more.
Safe places you can go: Anywhere with other people in the room. D's house, B&A's house, church, shopping, to the park.
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Stressful, upsetting news/events. High workload. Loneliness, lack contact and support.
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Write it down in my journal, deal with it later. Go somewhere alone and concentrate just on breathing for a while.
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Don't have one.
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: Today is day eleven, it feels much longer.
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Call D, O or Sal. Go have a moan with S and drink tea with her.

TwistedVision · Post by **TwistedVision** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 9:15 am

Name: Andy aka twisted
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: trying to reduce as much as possible, but have no faith in stopping
If so what is your motivation: i dont know... expectation from other people i guess...
Favorite coping skills: playing guitar, real loud, real fast.
Coping skills that work the least: talk... in general
Safe places you can go: school... um, friends house? i dont know...
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): fear of ____, school, parents, friends...
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: school: stay with josh as much as possible... work: um, dont go into the bathroom, and dont hold anything sharp or pointy... i have a list of things that i wont post....
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): i dont really have one
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free:
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: ... um...
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): being talked down to, most any negitive emotion, work in general, being alone, not being able to figure out why i feel badly...
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): there is no one....

Tamrick · Post by **Tamrick** » Sat Feb 19, 2005 11:20 am

Name: Tamrick

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: yes

If so what is your motivation: SI is unhealthy, my boyfriend keeps me motivated, my scars are disappearing and I am living a much more normal life without SI and I am happier

Favorite coping skills: trying new things (writing novels, painting, reading, playing with my dogs, working)

Coping skills that work the least: ruminating on SI - writing about it in my journal, drawing violent pictures etc

Safe places you can go: my bfs house, to work, the shops

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): being too tired, PMS, getting very angry (eg when something doesn't work or I get very bad service), fighting with my parents on the phone

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: keep working

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): I don't have a safety plan really. I just stay away from instruments and phone someone when I am upset (I think my "plan" is becoming part of general life now)

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 344 days

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: not applicable

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): pretty much the same as for stressors

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): my boyfriend, my mother, getting on BUS, people at work (for general conversation to distract)

RubyBlue · Post by **RubyBlue** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 1:09 am

Name: Tara
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Trying to reduce
If so what is your motivation: I want to be healthier as a whole, inside and out
Favorite coping skills: listening to music, daydreaming, writing, drawing
Coping skills that work the least: holding ice cubes, rubber bands
Safe places you can go: Nowhere that I know of, maybe my mom's room
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Loud noises, loud voices, having to talk on the phone or go out.
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: I don't go to either
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Deep cleansing breaths and trying to take my mind off it. Talking to someone.
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: nearly two weeks
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: I would have just let it go, I would've written in my comp. book about it instead of SIng
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): When something doesn't go the way i want it, I get extremely frustrated. When I'm ridiculed or made to feel stupid. Sometimes just the way My dad looks at me. Articles or pictures that display or discuss graphic SI
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Misty, my mom.

aimee929 · Post by **aimee929** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 5:46 am

Name: Aimee
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: reduce. I don't think I'm ready to stop yet.
If so what is your motivation: I know it's unhealthy and it has made my life so much more complicated than it ever was before.
Favorite coping skills: coloring; screaming/ singing in my car; writing in my journal; emailing a friend; watching a movie; calling a friend; tearing up paper or hitting something; exercise
Coping skills that work the least: reading a book (can't concentrate); writing a list of reasons why I want to SI (I've tried it)
Safe places you can go: my car
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): getting angry at myself, fights with my mom, being angry at my friends, images on TV or in movies, reading about SI or depression, being overwhelmed by school, feeling lonely
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: at school, I sometimes have to just walk around or lock myself in the bathroom and run water over my face b/c I can't do any of the things I mentioned above (I work at an elementary school)... I have only cut myself at home and in my car, though
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): I have written down a list of all the coping skills/ distractions I use, and I try to use the best ones first, then go down the list. Also, I try to tell myself, "I will not cut now. I will wait 15 minutes and then if I still want to do it, I can think about it again." Sometimes that works. I often try to call friends and vent out my anger.
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: I am SI'ing these days, but did manage last year to go 4 months SI free
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: tried to use more coping mechanisms... I gave in to soon to SI
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): anger (mostly at myself), friends annoying me, stress, feeling overwhelmed, fighting with mom, not being able to sleep, loneliness, feeling lost, feeling ugly and fat, feeling hated or forgotten, watching a movie or TV that somehow triggers those thoughts
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Hunter, Jen (friends from college), and Emily (an old friend)

Aimee

Divinity · Post by **Divinity** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 8:28 am

Name:

Kelly
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Yes, I know I should.

If so what is your motivation: I am trying to stop because I don't want family/friends to feel sad for me. And recovery can be painful. And I don't want to feel like a freak.

Favorite coping skills: this message board works/television/reading/a strong drink/going out

Coping skills that work the least: I don't know. I don't usually cope. But I did invest emotions into a certain relationship and used that as a cushion until it all fell apart, then I was a maniac again...that doesn't work. It's setting yourself up.

Safe places you can go: friends who are my accountability and know what I am dealing with.

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Anger, frustration with anything, lonliness, torment or sadness because of a relationship, any strong emotions...especially about myself...feelings of failure or self-degredation.

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Call a friend and cry, scribble or doodle intricatly on paper/my arm

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Call someone, make plans for that night

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: not free

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: Called someone first, gone out

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): My cat scratched me once and it caused me to dwell on the wound. Rejection, sadness, frustration, lonliness

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Oh, I have several

broken_annabelle · Post by **broken_annabelle** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 7:48 am

Name: Nae
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: reduce
If so what is your motivation: fear of people finding out or getting an infection
Favorite coping skills: listening to loud music, screaming, talking to myself
Coping skills that work the least: eating
Safe places you can go: none
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): lonliness, school, work, sister, when I lack energy to get work done, when I don't get enough alone time at home
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: the best thing is if I can't find a bathroom where I can be alone to do it
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): don't be in the same room as SI tools
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 6 days
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: I don't think anything could've stopped me, I was too scared for the state of my mind
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): seeing SI, seeing tools for SI, being near tools for SI, social situations
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): none

Wandering · Post by **Wandering** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 11:56 pm

Name: Andrea
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Attempting to stop
If so what is your motivation: I feel its like every time I cut, I'm telling God and my friends that they're not good enough for me, that God sending his son to die for me was pointless, that I hurt my friends who know
Favorite coping skills: Sleep. Read the Bible. Sort beads
Coping skills that work the least: To be honest, often nothing works. The three above are the most reliable.
Safe places you can go: Anywhere around people. I won't SI around others. Though unfortunately, I eventually have to be alone, and that's not a good place to be
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Anything that hits my self esteem, ie a negative comment; feeling lonely, ie because friends are away; parents stressing at me; too much work
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Keep talking. Its when I allow myself to shut up and retract from my friends that I start feeling worse
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Distract myself until I can sleep, either by staying around ppl or doing another distraction. Texting H to say I'm feeling rough helps because I would then feel guilty if I did SI
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 2 months
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Knives. Razors. Anything sharp. Seeing cuts/scars on others. One particular thing at the mo is I have an old blade under my bed, and anytime I need to go within a metre of it, I get really triggered. Problem is I can't make myself get rid of it. Am working on that
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): I struggle with phoning people when I'm in those situations (the whole low self esteem thing again I think). However, there are at least 2 people I could call if I needed them

lilmissme · Post by **lilmissme** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 4:53 pm

Name: Karen

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Well I was...but I just got all my tools back from a flatmate, so I don't know what I'm doing anymore

If so what is your motivation: I know SI isn't a healthy long term coping method, I don't want scars and I don't want to be a SIer

Favorite coping skills: Don't really have one. Looking at pictures of other people's SI on the internet can sometimes frighten me off. I can only ever seem to delay, rather than stop myself harming...and that just causes more pain so I don't know why I bother sometimes. Writing and drawing are good delays, as are forcing myself to socialise. Sometimes I can manage not to SI, go out for the night and prevent it for a whole day.

Coping skills that work the least: The above also goes in here I suppose, they are all sort of the best and worst

Safe places you can go: My ultimate safe place is the stables with my pony. Otherwise forcing myself to socialise is pretty safe, and going out for a good night works too

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Life! I just don't seem to deal veyr well any more. I used to be able to absorb stress and stuff, and everything would be fine. I can't do that any more, I cut it out. My counsellor is saying in my head now that I should never try to store everything and never express it, but I don't like that idea

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Been known to pinch myself, no harm done, not obvious to others and keeps me safe through temporary stress.I very rarely am urgey except when at home and often alone

What is your current safety plan (for work/shool/general): It's all gone a bit haywire. I did give my tools to a flatmate, and I had a set of rules about when I could harm, so basically they translated to never. But I broke the rule that's most important to me, so I don't bother with the rest any more

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: about 36hours!

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: I should have thrown away the glass straight after the first incident, while I was kinda thinking "don't ever want to do that again". I kept it until I felt bad...and then.....

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): I'm not sure anything in particular triggers me, outside of my own thoughts. Sometimes I will jsut randomly let SI cross my mind, and then I want to do it

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Charlotte is there for me if I ask, but I'm none too good at asking. Jess is a star, but she can't physically be there for me...which is tough when I want a hug and I quess I should list my mum, she says to call if I ever need her, but to be honest I probably never would.

Karen xx

Needles · Post by **Needles** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 9:10 pm

Name: Nick

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Reduce

If so what is your motivation: I want people to stop staring at me, want to stop having to go to hospital, and I secretly know it isn't a long term coping thing.

Favorite coping skills: Going running, snapping a laccy band, going somewhere where there're people

Coping skills that work the least: drawing on myself, listening to music

Safe places you can go: school, the library, to work

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): everything, mostly people, everyone, even if I like them most of the time.

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: going where it's quiet, where there's nothing sharp or dangerous, the art block, although it's full of sharp things

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Remember to take my meds, go to see the nurse when it's 'one of those days'. Hiding in the art rooms when everything else is too hard to deal with, writing a letter to my grandmother.

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: not SI free, at all.

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: I don't know. There was no reason, I just felt rubbish. If I knew, then I wouldn't still be doing it would I?

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Stupid people, getting angry over something I can't change, seeing my tools, seeing my scars, more than eight sleepless nights in a row, drinking too much, taking meth, talking to my parents.

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Daniel, Maddy, Simon and Jazz, BUS.

Something Else · Post by **Something Else** » Sun Feb 27, 2005 7:04 am

Alright, I'll try this.

Name: Ray

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: yes, temporarily at least

If so what is your motivation: Lent. And I don't want it controlling me.

Favorite coping skills: SI

Coping skills that work the least: talking about my feelings

Safe places you can go: not sure what this means

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): my pet bird died. I graduate in May, and don't know what I'll do then. School. Parents. Crazy campus preachers. Running into people I know, unexpectedly. Social situations.

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: ignoring my feelings until I'm home. I'm usually okay at work, because I have to be, for my students. And I'm so busy, it's easy to be distracted. Schools harder sometimes; doodling can help, or writing number patterns if it's really bad.

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): not sure what that is.

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: a little over 4 weeks.

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: sat under a tree to calm down. I don't know if it would have worked, but I could have tried. Or skipped the second half of class, gone to the library and read or something.

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): thinking of above stressors, mostly. It's worse at night.

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): none, really. At least, none that I would contact. I suppose, if I chose to, I could call Josh, or even Leslie or Wendell.

Discarded angel · Post by **Discarded angel** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 5:38 am

Name:
Jas
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI:
no i'm not
Favorite coping skills:
sleeping, i usually wake up feeling at least a tiny bit better
Coping skills that work the least:
eating, i tend to eat a lot when i'm stressed and i end up feeling guilty about it cause i know i'm fat enough already
Safe places you can go:
my mums house, i could never si at my mums house no matter how bad i felt or how much i wanted to
Identify stressors (be specific as poss):
friends, lack of friends, being alone, never going out, realising that i'm going through this bullcrap for nothing cause one day i'll be dead and my life will mean didderly skwat
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one):
my best friend, i know she would understand and never judge me.

fliona · Post by **fliona** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:22 am

Name: Fiona (Fi)

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: I have stopped. for the time being anyway.

If so what is your motivation: i dunno. coz it's just bad..

Favorite coping skills: lying in bed, listening to music, playing music, talking to people

Coping skills that work the least: procrastinating

Safe places you can go: my bedroom.

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): school grades, exams, pressure from parents, myself

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: talking to friends

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): keep busy, hang around people...

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: a week.

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Pressure from school. Feeling like i can't get anything done and being stuck.

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): lou.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 3:57 am

Name: balletomane
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI:reduce
If so what is your motivation: sick of scars, lying, shame
Favorite coping skills: sleeping
Coping skills that work the least: talking to family
Safe places you can go:bus
Identify stressors (be specific as poss):School (grades, false friends, tutoring duties, being belittled, being bullied, sexist/racist teachers who want me to "prove myself"), Father (invalidates my ideas/feelings, very critical of me)
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Talk to C.B. about something "benign" as she says, carry a book to read
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Beyond trying to minimize risk associated with SI, I don't really have a plan. Working on it though.
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free:currently SIing
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: Still to close to the incident to reflect on it.
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): My father, feeling fat/binging, bad grades, not being able to concentrate
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): E., D., Sometimes A, T, C

bus

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