Lonely...

[Guest]

I'm so lonely...and i miss SI soooooo much. Theres two guys at school who show there cut up arms with the anarchy symbol and words like f*ck you and hate etched in there knuckles. I try so hard to not get mad at them...it's irritating that they SI just to 'fit in' and they think it's just some big joke... but its NOT ONE BIT funny. It feels as if all my feelings were invalid when i was SI'ing. I guess i was just wondering if any of you gracious people have felt the same way? take gentle care.......
love broken_little_girl

[nirvana]

*sits with you* i've felt like that. but they may just be ignorant jerks who will never learn. i'm sorry you saw people like that, and i wish i had words to make you feel better. but i read, and i understand. i'm here if you need me. *gentle cuddles*
love, tara.

[cocolovett]

hey sweetie, im sorry you feel so alone. you do know you can pm me whenever you want & for ANYTHING, dont you? you can, i promise.

my "boyfriend" said some pretty harsh things, too. (we wnet out for about 2 weeks & we broke up & we still dont know much about eachother so i dont really think he was a boyfriend)

we were in spanish & we were supposed to write a dear abby thing in spanish-- you know, i have a problem how do i fix it type thing. he was sitting behind me & wasnt even talking to me but i could hear him perfectly. (btw- he doesnt know i SI) anyways he jokingly said something like this as an example--- my wrists are covered in blood & ive been contemplating suicide for 3 months!!!!!!!!-- how much of a jerk can you be??? he obviously doesnt think that anyone he knows could possibly SI & he doesnt think its a real problem.
but of course i dont say anything-- 1) cuz i dont want anyone IRL to know i SI & 2) i dont have enough self-esteem to confront him.
he obviously doesnt know it but thats just about the meanest thing someone could say.

& ive been SU for about 4 months & i do have bloody wrists!!! grrrr!!!!!!!!! that makes me so mad.

i kinda know where youre coming from on this one. & sorry to ramble.
Take care of yourself BLG.
love,
~coco

i dont want you to feel alone anymore.

[BlackTara]

Some people SI as a way of communicating what they are feeling. I know it can be a trigger to see wounds, but there is more than meets the eye with these guys. I would bet there are people telling them that what they are doing is wrong and insulting them for it. If it were only approval from their peers that they wanted, they would likely choose a different way of going about that.

There were people like that in my high school too, but they were my friends. I hid my wounds and they showed them, but it seemed to stem from the same kind of pain for both types.