One thing I CAN'T cope with...

[Bathelina]

Self-hate.

I can get over urges OK, but I when I really hate myself I just feel so bad and I haven't found a way to conquer it.

Can anyone help me? It just gets worse and worse and I'm really scared that one day I just won't be able to keep it all inside

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hannah x

[Boris]

i'm pretty sure it's one of the things on the list (very long list!) of stuff to do before SI, but it's got one about writing down your talents, and every time you feel bad, adding a talent on to the list. it sounds like it might work, though i personally haven't tried it.

if your friends are reasonably dedicated, you could try exchanging notes with them. i traded little notes with a friend of mine last spring when both of us were feeling really bad, just saying nice things about each other. it made me feel a lot more worthwhile.

you could also try buying yourself presents. i did that...cost some money, but they were mostly very small presents. like i'd go into a bead store and pick out a nice bead...just one, but it was nice. and i'd convince myself that i deserved it and write myself a card explaining why. it sounds superficial, but whatever works, works.

[Bathelina]

Thanks for the advice I think I'm going to try those!!

Hannah x

[nirvana]

hey... i read this about exercising in a magazine the other day, but i think it'd work for si too. every time you have the urge to si, but don't, put a dollar away in a jar or box. (or however much you want). set a goal for yourself: one week? a month? whatever... and at the end of that time, buy something nice for yourself.

write down ten things you like about yourself on seperate slips of paper, and put them in a jar. when you feel upset/triggered, take one out of the jar and read it. then replace it with a new 'like'.

good luck.
tara.

[Bathelina]

Thanks tara!! That was really helpful :)

Hannah x

[hbennett]

Hannah,

When I do something for someone else it makes me feel better about myself. Use your own talents to help other people or places in your community. Even something as simple as teaching kids to make origami or reading a book to someone at the library or randomly opening doors for people can help give you a boost about yourself.

H

[Bathelina]

Thanks for the post

Yeah, I seem to be really polite, which doesn't really suit me, lol, but I usually open doors for people that I don't know, and let them go first, and stuff, and it just sort of gives me a buzz... Knowing that they respect me because I've done something polite. I want to get involved in community, but I think I'm probably a little too young, which is annoying, but when I'm older I definitely wanted to help out with stuff.

Thanks, again

Hannah x