Death

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Post Reply
Guest

Death

Post by Guest » Sun Jan 02, 2005 3:42 am

How do you cope with someone dying? How do you grieve for someone?

User avatar
punkbabefreak19
settling in
settling in
Posts: 123
Joined: Wed Dec 15, 2004 11:14 pm
Location: somewhere in hell (new york)
Contact:

Post by punkbabefreak19 » Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:21 am

i dont know, just dont cut or si
~Image~
<br clear="all">
<img src="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/count_hugs ... abefreak19" height="40" width="240" title="HUGS">
<br clear="all">
*HUGS* TOTAL!
<a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/hugs.cgi?& ... ak19">give punkbabefreak19 more *HUGS*</a>
<br><small><a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/gethugs.cgi">Get hugs of your own</a></small><br clear="all">

User avatar
Aly
beyond inspiring
beyond inspiring
Posts: 9384
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2004 9:25 pm
Location: South England

Post by Aly » Sun Jan 02, 2005 4:10 pm

you spend time remembering them.....remembering their life, remembering the good things about them...WITHOUT neglecting your life. Dont stop being social, getting out of the house, meeting up with other friends, just to stay in and thnk of him. You need a balance of having time to think about him, as well as being with othr people. Eventually you should get to a stage where you can remember him, smile at the thought of him, without feeling so upset. You should eventually ( def not yet. Too soon. Give urself time to be sad at ur loss of him) be able to move on. But moving on doesnt mean forgetting them, or gwtting over their death It just means that the thought of them not being there no longer controls ur life. And when u remember them, you just feel happy that you shared dome of their life with them.
xxxtc angelxxx, im thinking of you *hugs* - if ok
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

User avatar
viola_girl
one of us
one of us
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2005 5:41 am
Location: Banff, AB, Canada

Post by viola_girl » Fri Jan 14, 2005 4:49 am

My sister died from a freak drug reaction (not suicide or illegal drugs). I know I will never "get over" her death, but I know she wouldn't want me to be unhappy because of her. When the pain gets really bad, I go outside at night and look at the stars and tell her everything on my mind. It's like she's watching me from the stars. It doesn't take all the pain away but it helps me feel better. I think that I had the best sister in the world for 18 years and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

User avatar
badgirl22
driving instructor
driving instructor
Posts: 5657
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2003 8:18 am
Location: Bay area, CA USA
Contact:

might

Post by badgirl22 » Fri Jan 14, 2005 12:01 pm

gosh I wish I knew..I wish I knew..All I know is that there are 5 stages of grief..they are in books if you look at things like amazon.com under grief..might give you a place to start..
-Badgirl22

User avatar
pretty
board admin emeritus
board admin emeritus
Posts: 8689
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2003 7:43 pm
Location: middle of england

Post by pretty » Fri Jan 14, 2005 8:51 pm

There is no set way, no right or wrong. There will be a natural progression in your feelings, but it will be what is right for you. Let yourself feel, don't feel that you're feeling the wrong things at the wrong times, that you should be onto the next 'stage' by now or that your feelings are coming in the wrong order, or that you should be 'over it' or that you should be sad if you're not.

Everyone is different. Just try to acknowlege your feelings and work through them in your own time. That's all you can do.
'this is what she says gets her through it,
"if I don't let myself be happy now, then when?"' - jimmy eat world

place

User avatar
aroobixcube
creating your space
creating your space
Posts: 154
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2004 5:06 pm
Location: UK
Contact:

Post by aroobixcube » Fri Jan 14, 2005 10:00 pm

every one grieves in their own way so there is no 'propper' way of grieving. some pple feel anger toward the dead person, some nothing attal, like a blank.

You go thru many stages when grieving, and all are perfectly normal.

Just try and remember the good times, and not the more difficult times.

Remember that they are happy with others in afterlife and are watching over you and they wdnt wish you to be down about their death, they'd want you to remember them as they were and move your life on with good memories and a strong heart.
We learn who we are as the result of coming to terms with our experiences, combining them with the beliefs and attitudes that we have gained from others.

http://reccuperation.tripod.com

support for Self-harmers and their friends and relatives.

User avatar
sug160489
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 2015
Joined: Tue Dec 14, 2004 11:39 am
Location: Queensland, Australia

Post by sug160489 » Sun Jan 16, 2005 2:04 am

there are 5 stages of grief- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance but these are just usual things they are not set in stone

it can take between 2 years to a lifetime to deal with the grief that comes from a death depending on who has died but the important thing is to deal with it for if you don't deal with it you will always hold that emotional hurt inside and it will one day explode out oonto someone you love and you will lose someone else so the best way is just to let yourself feel what you want to feel

if you're sad; cry if you're angry; yell just make sure u deal with it somehow

Love Sarah
:o Zombie Sarah

User avatar
Frippy
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 924
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2004 12:48 am
Location: Somewhere lost

Post by Frippy » Tue Jan 18, 2005 6:15 pm

It is difficult to cope and grive, everyone handles it n such a different way, people grieve for various lengths of time and you can never guarantee how you will react. I think it is importnat to not worry about if your reaction is the right one or to thin I should be over it by now or the opposite I shouldn't be happy because of what has happened. greiving is very difficult and it can be helpful to have people to talk to about it although some people may expect you to be over it before you are, that doesn't mean they are right, grief isn't just something that swtches on and off.

Take care of yourself and react in response to how you feel. There are a variety of groups and things to help people deal with different types of grief and it may be helpful to get in touch with some of these if you want.

Greiving is personal, you can only do it in the way you do, not the way someone else does. Be honest to yourself but try to get on with life and enjoy it. It is okay to be upset.

Remember me - Christina Rosetti
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of the future you had planned:
Only remember me you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve
For if the darkness and corrruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far that you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Take care
x

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests