Age & gender in profile info?

sanabas · Post by **sanabas** » Thu Oct 21, 2004 5:15 pm

I agree as well about having the info there, but I'm going to argue anyway. I wouldn't see a difference in the example you mentioned. 2 people doing stuff they think is fine, but that parents/family think is morally wrong. Can get the same grief no matter which particular set of someone else's morals are trying to be forced on you. Age I can see making a difference to replies, I can't think of much where gender will be an issue. I still like it as an option though, I'm just curious I think.

Calluna vulgaris · Post by **Calluna vulgaris** » Fri Dec 31, 2004 4:05 am

I think it'd be a good idea. The one other forum I frequent has an age category (though it's for a much different reason!!), and it's completely optional to fill out unless you'd like access to an age-restricted area of the site.

I don't see the harm in having an optional field for it. Those who like may fill it out; those who don't may leave it blank.

kurdt_kobain · Post by **kurdt_kobain** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 9:23 pm

I'd like that, as long as it was optional.

Boogie Man · Post by **Boogie Man** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 2:24 am

kurdt_kobain wrote:I'd like that, as long as it was optional.

same here.

peace

ChaseThisLight · Post by **ChaseThisLight** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 7:45 am

But would that help at all? Having it optional I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't fill it out, so then you still wouldn't know what age you're dealing with about half of the time...just being difficult I suppose

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 5:52 pm

notmardy wrote:But would that help at all? Having it optional I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't fill it out...

Yeah, and if implemented, my guess corresponds with yours—that about half the members would not fill it out… But:
• Half is better than none (by “none” I mean not having an option for providing the information in the first place).
• I think we need to keep it optional…no? Making it mandatory might alienate some members, and that would certainly not be my intention…

silent_scream · Post by **silent_scream** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 9:53 pm

How about a bit in the profile that is kind of 'about myself', like the interest colomn and then people don't have to put their ages, but the choice is right there since that's one of the things most people would say........no?

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 10:58 pm

silent_scream: That’s not how I pictured it working. I’m talking about member profile spaces that specifically ask for a member’s age & gender.

silent_scream · Post by **silent_scream** » Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:29 am

I know... I was just thinking of a comprimise.......

Post by **swirlish** » Sat Jan 08, 2005 1:07 am

Personally, I don't think gender matters at all. And in your example about the homosexual couple, I'm a bit shocked and confused that there would be a difference in advice if the couple were straight or gay. Age, I can understand, though it doesn't matter all that much to me online either. I can understand that you give different advice to a kid and an adult though.

And if there was an option to choose male/female, I want an "other" aswell and a "dont wanna say" option.

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 7:26 pm

tulips wrote:And if there was an option to choose male/female, I want an "other" aswell and a "dont wanna say" option.

It would not be mandatory; you could just leave it blank...and, presumably, that would get the point across that you didn’t want to say.

Post by **swirlish** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 8:29 pm

I don't mean if you don't want to say, I mean for those people who don't identify as male or female, but "other". Transgendered, people with gender issues etc. I have a close friend with these issues, so the question is dear to me.

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 9:28 pm

tulips: Sorry, I misunderstood you.

To me, “other” seems almost insulting towards transgendered people—tell me, is that an acceptable alternative to put in, so as not to offend anyone?

Post by **swirlish** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 9:40 pm

Maybe it shouldn't be called other.. I'm not sure.. But something for those who don't identify with either male or female, if you know what I mean? Maybe it's not a big issue here (is it?), but I find it very important.

guest11 · Post by **guest11** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 10:09 pm

Perhaps this might be of some use to you...

The percentages themselves are wrong.

Female = 81.7%
Male = 16.7%
Transgendered ftm = 0.00894%
Transgendered mtf = 0.00731%

Sure, the percentages are small... but not that small if you think about it. If you had a sample of 1000000 people, 73 would be transgendered mtf, and 89 would be transgendered ftm. That's not that small really.

(I know that's a very flawed statistical analysis, considering that a sample of self harmers doesn't represent the entire population, and there are other flaws in it, but you get the idea- and sorry, I've been revising statistics too much I think

)

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 10:24 pm

tulips & Deskana: Yes, I think it (a “transgendered” choice) is probably an important option to provide for everyone (…if this whole idea ever gets implemented…).

Thanks, tulips, for pointing it out.

Post by **swirlish** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 10:58 pm

I basically agree, but to be a pain - everyone of those who don't identify with either a male or female gender, don't consider themselves transgendered. Some say they feel like they're of a "third gender", some that they don't have one and some are not sure.

Maybe I'm being way too picky, but I know how much it means to those I talk to about this, that we take them under consideration. That we acknowledge that they don't identify with our two basic genders and that it's perfectly okay, they don't have to. I'm going to ask my friend what she thinks.

Post by **swirlish** » Tue Jan 11, 2005 12:40 am

Right, I've talked to my friend about this and first of all, she (she has gender issues, but I refer to her as she because that's what she refers to herself as) says she's happy that it's talked about.
Second, she says that she either would suggest the option "genderqueer" (as that is what she identifies as) as a third option, or to make it four options: male, female, transgendered and other.
I think it would be great if BUS included these things, that would make us a more accepting and non-judgemental part of the internet, imho.

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Tue Jan 11, 2005 1:04 am

tulips wrote:make it four options: male, female, transgendered and other...

[shrugs] I’m certainly O.K. with that. B.U.S. is a community for people who SI, so—to an extent—we are already in a misunderstood/shunned minority. So, among us SI-ers, I certainly wouldn’t want to unintentionally shut-out or offend a new member who encountered my proposed profile questions.

Having said that, tulips, I wonder if you might have pity on me and try—just one last time—to explain to me how “transgendered” and “other” are different from one another; your concern seems to be that having only a “transgendered” option will not cover everyone, and I guess I just want to fully understand why. Do you mind?

Post by **swirlish** » Tue Jan 11, 2005 1:45 am

I don't mind at all! Questions are good, that's how we learn.

From what I understand, someone who is transgendered wants to be, or strives to be, or feel they are (covering every possibility

) the other sex. A male wants to be female or a female wants to be male. This can take expression in just having a secret wish or full blown surgery to the other sex. And anything in between of course.
Someone who is genderqueer (which is the term my friend uses) doesn't necessarily want to conform to either sex. They might feel they are a third sex or somewhere in the middle of male and female or no sex at all. Or any combination thereof. Or they might be unsure.

You are very welcome to ask more if I'm not clear, I think it's an important discussion

And this is just how I perceive it, from what I've learnt by talking to people and reading lots. Someone else might have another defintion. I believe in a human's absolute right to define who she/he/other

is. (That's actually a quote from my favourite artist/author/actor - Jonas Gardell)

bus

Age & gender in profile info?

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