Supportive, yet unsupportive people. *SI ref, possible trig*

[esaeler]

There's someone in my life that I care more about than anyone, and he is one of the main reasons I decided to stop SIing. But lately, he's been running various guilt trips on me that I believe (if continued) will lead me to resume SIing. He acts happy that I've gone 2 weeks without it, but then does things he knows will make me feel horrible. Does anyone have a suggestion on how I can tell him what he's doing is making more problems for me than I need right now? I'm just lost with this. Thank you.

[limestone]

There's someone in my life that I care more about than anyone, and he is one of the main reasons I decided to stop SIing. But lately, he's been running various guilt trips on me that I believe (if continued) will lead me to resume SIing. He acts happy that I've gone 2 weeks without it, but then does things he knows will make me feel horrible. Does anyone have a suggestion on how I can tell him what he's doing is making more problems for me than I need right now? I'm just lost with this. Thank you.

Hey,

What are the other reasons why you decided to stop?
His behaviour might well be a factor in future si but whatever happens si remains your choice. So, in the future, he might be replaced as a cause for your si with a problem at work etc. There will always be things prompting you to think of si as a way to deal with the current problem. But what can you do now to help sort or approach this current problem?

Are you happy that you've gone two weeks without si?

If he does things he knows will make you feel horrible is he worth knowing? Or is it a case that you're having a hard time and everything seems too big etc? It's hard to tell by what you've written. So my reply might be totally unhelpful. But if you imagine you didn't use to si etc, and try to work out whether what ever he is doing is good/bad: then how would you like to talk to him and do you still think it necessary to talk to him?

[esaeler]

I also decided to stop for myself, and mostly because I was really getting sick of the constant paranoia and having SI on my mind 24/7.

Actually, I'm not really 100% happy I've gone two weeks without it because I have my days where I really...really want to do it.

I don't know if he's worth knowing or not...it's a tough one there.

I'll take what you said to heart, and thanks for the advice. It actually was helpful since it made me think of other things that I wouldn't have thought about otherwise.

Thank you again!

[BlackTara]

If he thinks that you stopped because of him, because s.i. would make you feel guilty for hurting him, he might be under the impression that guilt trips are a good tool for getting you to do stuff or not do stuff. I suggest you make it clear to him that you will stop for your own sake and let him know that the things he says cause unnecessary stress for you.

Anyway, I think you're off to a great start.