Attachment Disorders

[Chocoboko]

Hi,

I am just wondering if any of you here struggle with an attachment disorder. I know I definitely have a lot of symptoms of an attachment disorder, though I was never diagnosed. A lot of my loneliness and distrust for other people is what led me to SI. I just wonder if any of you struggle with attachment issues.

[Guest]

hey! hope your day is going good. this is what i do with friends: i get really close to them and get really clingy. i end up pushing them away by being clingy. after they leave the only person i can blame for the lonely and abandonment feelings is myself. there for i just give my self another reason to hate myself. thats just one of many of the self defeating behaviors of which i have. another thing that i do is i get to clingy because i get scared their going to leave me, in result i drive them away and they leave me. this probably didn't make any sense what so ever...i'm sorry, i know i'm not much help...have a great day.

[Chocoboko]

You make a lot of sense. I know exactly what you mean. I always fear people are going to leave me. Then I fear that they will leave me because I have gotten clingy. So I have a tendency to just push people away that I find myself getting attached to before they can leave me.

[Karuna33]

I am sure attatchment is a huge issue for me, as for my children, and probably allot of people with mental health issues.

I can only say that I wish I had cared for myself better, I really believed that all the problems were my own, that I was too clingy and so on etc...... basically fear is what makes us cling, but fear doesn't dissolve in one swoop, so I suggect if youare not comfortable getting too close, that's OK, just go slow with people. trust rakes time, you may find that the people you fear will leave youare people you do not have much to share with anyway. I think online friends are a good way to start, perhaps simple thins like hello, or a cup of coffe and so on.
Don't be too hard on yourself thinking you pushed everyone away, perhpas you need that space to feel safe, perhaps they have their own issues around being close.

a little at a time

take care

K

[VowsOfSadness]

I believe I am now over my attachment disorder (even though I was never diagnosed) I realized something was wrong when I refused to go out without my mom, not to the movies, or to the mall--I was just too scared when she wasn't there.

At age 13 most kids think parents are out of style, especially having one following you around, but I wasn't sure I could do somehing without her, it wasn't even an option.

Now it's not taht me and my mom were two peas and a pod, we don't always get along--that had nothing to do with it, it was more of having some big cuddly bear mom to deflect anything, or people (meaning in their words and attitudes) away from me to protect me.

My mom started noticing there was somthing wrong, she may be one of the few moms to say, "You HAVE to go with out me go ALONE with your friends, you'll be okay"

The only symptom I have left is I need my mom to call family members or buisness places for me, I need her to go to the counter at stores and pay for things for me (I am very afraid to do this, she is pushing me to, I give her the money and she takes me up and pays for it) and for going some places I must take her (not my da or anyone else)???

[aimee929]

I am convinced that i have an attachment disorder, though I've never been diagnosed with one.

I am 27 years old and I have never been able to be in a relationship. Whenever someone tries to get close to me, I get scared and back off. I am scared of opening up to people and even more scared of making other people deal with my fucked up life.

All of my close friends tell me that I am more secretive than the CIA (one friend put it that way)... because even some of them don't know the personal details of my life. I have trouble trusting people. My trust has been betrayed many times. I've also never been able to tlak to my parents, who never listen to me in the first place.

It makes life very lonely, very isolated.

I am convinced that I will never get married or have children. I feel totally empty sometimes without any kind of love in my life. I sometimes think I won't make it to age 30 b/c I feel so constantly alone.

I never tell people these things, though, because-- it figures-- I can't trust them enough to tell them.

What else could this be but an attachment disorder???

If my friends really knew how screwed up my life is, I doubt they'd put up with me.

love,
Aimee

[Harlequin_Tears]

I have been diagnosed but my counselor tells me that she has noticed some attachment issues. I don't really get close to friends but I'm severely attached to my fiance because he's the first person in my life to actually show me unconditional love and I don't want to lose him or the safety that I feel with him.

[aroobixcube]

like wise i have anxiety disorders and am paranoid my BF wd leave me, weve been together nearly 2years. im 18. i cant go out without him, or somone, but i am always wonderin what he's up to and cant wait to have him back from college coz i get scared and rely on him for support, no one has ever said attachment disorders to me, but the idea has been mentioned that im controlling, so perhaps both are closely linked.

[fire.bird]

Choco,

it was more of having some big cuddly bear mom to deflect anything, or people (meaning in their words and attitudes) away from me to protect me.

i'm not a doctor, but that sounds a lot more like social anxiety disorder than it does like an attachment disorder to me. have you checked out any info on that?