This is a space just to write about those times when it just feels like the longest day ever! Like you've been fighting this forever, and it's never going to stop.
Hopefully you'll find that by working through your longest day, you'll see how far you've come. You've made it through this longest day so far and it'll give you some hope and courage to keep going just a little further.
Good luck everyone, and take care.
The longest day...
The longest day...
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."
Today (well the last six days really) has been the longest, most exhausting struggle since I made the decision to quit.
I had been doing okay, and urges were few and far between for me. Then on Wed I gave my knife away to a friend. Ever since then the urges have been more frequent, just like in the beginning. But there is also this new power in me, that helps me. I feel powerful and in control. I was stropng enough to give up my knife and I know I can get it back if I want. I've visited my knife since I gave it away, so I've had it back, not used it and given it away to my friend again. I am in control.
This week has gone on forever. I have work I should be doing for uni, but I just don't have it in me. I sleep loads, have nightmares and I'm constantly exhausted. Last night I took my flatmates knife into my room with me. But I never used it. I stayed strong. One more day free.
My brain feels so numb. And I almost fell asleep in the shower today, I was in there for like an hour... And then I got wrapped in my towel and lay on my bed for two hours, too tired to do anything else.
The only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge somewhere inside that I'm in control and that I've made it through one more day.
I've made it this far. I'm going to keep trying.
I had been doing okay, and urges were few and far between for me. Then on Wed I gave my knife away to a friend. Ever since then the urges have been more frequent, just like in the beginning. But there is also this new power in me, that helps me. I feel powerful and in control. I was stropng enough to give up my knife and I know I can get it back if I want. I've visited my knife since I gave it away, so I've had it back, not used it and given it away to my friend again. I am in control.
This week has gone on forever. I have work I should be doing for uni, but I just don't have it in me. I sleep loads, have nightmares and I'm constantly exhausted. Last night I took my flatmates knife into my room with me. But I never used it. I stayed strong. One more day free.
My brain feels so numb. And I almost fell asleep in the shower today, I was in there for like an hour... And then I got wrapped in my towel and lay on my bed for two hours, too tired to do anything else.
The only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge somewhere inside that I'm in control and that I've made it through one more day.
I've made it this far. I'm going to keep trying.
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."
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