Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Wall · Post by **Wall** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 9:03 am

I have no idea how to take you up on your offer. I have no idea how to tell you that I'd really like to have a friend. I have no way to get together. I feel entirely powerless, but it's too much to try to tell you this standing in the hallway. Please reach out. I so badly need to know that I matter to someone.

~invisible_me~ · Post by **~invisible_me~** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 11:17 am

I want to tell you about her. I dont want to keep this hidden but i dont know how youll react when i tell you i am on message board (a different one to this there is no way im telling you about BUS) I know youll be angry with me for giving my number and address out to someone i have never met before but i know she is who she says she is. I trust her 100%. She is the most special friend i have and i never want you to take her away from me. Whatever you do i will find a way of keeping in contact with her. I want you to be ok with this. I know this is a hard thing for me to ask of you. Its going to take a lot of my strength to tell you about this after everything to do with Megan and the person she met off the internet last year...but i dont want to have to keep hiding K from you. K is not like Megan or the other woman. She is different. She is special and you know i will never do what they did im not like that mum. I really hope you know that. I want to meet up with her in the summer and if it means you knowing about her then that is what i will do.

blink182 · Post by **blink182** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 8:37 pm

I wish you were here, I wish I was with you. I'm sorry. I love you.

marylou · Post by **marylou** » Tue Dec 07, 2004 1:17 pm

D- I've changed my mind.
I don't want to give this up anymore.
Maybe I never really did. When you talk about there being life without SH and about taking away my knife...
I don't want to do that. I don't want that.

I'm in trouble. I need your help... I don't really know what I need.
But it's not fair to ask you to help me. I don't want to change.

PaperDoll · Post by **PaperDoll** » Tue Dec 07, 2004 3:13 pm

I hate you

x

marylou · Post by **marylou** » Thu Dec 09, 2004 4:52 pm

K- I feel lost without you. I hardly slept last night. I kept trying lots of things to make me pass out so I could forget about being without you. It's so strange not having you there, not having you here. It's gonna be okay though.

lin · Post by **lin** » Sat Dec 11, 2004 8:15 am

please just be here. without conditions, without me having to ask. because i won’t. i’ll sink deeper and deeper down and drown. i’m drowning already and i just wish you could throw me a life rope.

the cuts and scars on my arms are there if you’d only look, if you’d only see. i know i hide them, but i know that you know, and you don’t say anything. you say nothing. you don’t say it is ok, you don’t say its not, you don’t ask anything of me. i let you find out so you could help me, but you leave me here all by myself and i just need you to make the first move. i need you to come and help me. i need to be told that .,..i don’t know what. but i need someones help.

i cry inside and fall, and don’t get up. i’m all by myself and if sound weak and pathetic its because i am, but sometimes i just can’t take it you know. i’ve been through hell and back. you have no idea. if you’d only ask. but then i guess i wouldn’t tell you. i couldn’t.

but i’m sorry. forgive me - don’t just say it, mean it.

marylou · Post by **marylou** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 2:38 pm

D- Is all this too much for you? For us?
I'm always scared of crossing the line, of asking too much from you, of needing too much. I try hard, I try not to expect too much from you and that way you don't let me down. There's so much I don't tell you about, or ask you for.
Maybe you feel like I do expect alot from you, but believe you don't get the half of it. I was talking to O the other day (just about stuff you already, about the knife and about the nightmares) and he said: You really are totally messed up, aren't you?
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!
He meant in a I'm-your-friend-and-am-concerned-about-you way so it was cool. But yeah, I'm a mess.
I hate the dreams, I hate them. I'm so tired and scared all the time. This all just keeps getting worse and harder!
Where is this all going to end??? I can't see the end D. That scares me.

pretty · Post by **pretty** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 8:38 pm

I'm sorry I never got to know you. I liked you so much, I respected you, I wanted to get to know you properly. You intimidated me a little bit. It's too late though. I hope you know that I love you, I thought of you as family. You weren't like the rest of them.

I miss you, and it hurts. I wish you were here. I wish I could hug you and say thank you. I wish I could tell you how much I respected you. I wish I could find the words. I wish I could know you, spend time with you, share things with you.

Wherever you are, if you're anywhere, I hope there's some kind of peace. I hope you know.

Wall · Post by **Wall** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 10:00 pm

I can't do this. I can't live with this. Why? Why can't I have help? Why was I given a child like this? Why must I live through it again? Why can't I matter enough to have people who love me?

broken_words · Post by **broken_words** » Wed Dec 15, 2004 1:18 am

Mom- I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT MAKES MISTAKES YOU KNOW!!! I'VE BEEN TRYING SOOO HARD AND ALL I GET IS THE "I WISH YOU WERE A BETTER KID" SH*T!!!! COMPARED TO OTHER PPL IN THIS TOWN I'M AN ANGEL DAMN IT!

Dad- I'M NOT A SLUT I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH ANYONE AND I'M SORRY THAT I DRANK...I REALLY AM!!!!

Rob- YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST PLAY WITH MY EMOTIONS LIKE THEY'RE TOYS??????? YOU WRONG JUST PLAIN WRONG! I LIKED YOU BUT THEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN SOME SLUT COMES INTO THE PICTURE AND YOU'LL ALL OVER HER...IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? A SLUT?

Mike- I HAVE MORE THAN WORDS FOR YOU BUDDY! YOU PISSED ME OFF SOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD...ALL I DID WAS CARE ABOUT YOU AND CARE ABOUT YOU AND CARE ABOUT YOU...THAT'S ALL IS THAT SOOOO BAD? YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST TOLE ME WHAT THE F**K I DID WRONG...AND WHY IT IS YOU LIED ABOUT ME BEING THE ONLY GIRL YOU EVER REALLY WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU AND ONCE MORE I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man i feel better....dang that was awesome!!

kurdt_kobain · Post by **kurdt_kobain** » Wed Dec 15, 2004 8:25 pm

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

WHY THE FUCKING HELL DID YOU TAKE THAT MUCH MEDICINE?? DO YOU NOT CARE AT ALL ABOUT ANYONE?? YOUR MOM HAS BEEN WORKING HER ASS OFF TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND I FUCKING LOVE YOU YOU ASSHOLE. STOP BEING A DUMBASS. PLEASE, PLEASE, ALEX, STOP HURTING YOURSELF. I DON'T WANT YOU IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL OVER CHIRISTMAS. YOU JUST GOT OUT. ALEX...

I love you. I honestly do.

I don't know, hun, I just want you to take better care of yourself so I can see you and hold your hand and kiss you. I want to be with you...and I can't if you keep doing this. You said you loved me. Could you stop lying to everyone? I remember that converstaion we had. You told me, "I love you, and that's not a lie." I remember.

Please stop hurting yourself. Please just get better. Is it my fault? I really do love you.

I'm helpless, I don't know what to do.

marylou · Post by **marylou** » Wed Dec 15, 2004 11:15 pm

D- Why don't you answer me????!!!!!!!! It's drives me crazy, how hard would it be for you to get back to me and just say yes, I can help you or no, I just can't commit to that right now? I'm so screwed up and all I want is for you to tell me not to keep doing this and help me. Just tell me not to do it!!!
I NEED your help. Talk to me!!!!!

Please.

nirvana · Post by **nirvana** » Sun Dec 19, 2004 2:47 am

x: fuck you for calling me that. you don't even know who i am.

SLUT SLUT. i'm a slut haha i should listen, i should believe it every FUCKING time i hear it. STUPID STUPID STUPID.

nirvana · Post by **nirvana** » Sun Dec 19, 2004 2:52 am

sorry doesn't fix it.

nothing does.

kurdt_kobain · Post by **kurdt_kobain** » Sun Dec 19, 2004 3:19 am

You wanna know why I don't tell you how I feel? I'm scared. I really am. I'm scared that you're lying to me like you always do. I'm scared that you'll turn off and stop loving me and that I won't be able to stop loving you.

I'm scared that saying how I feel will make it more real, and I don't want to feel anything sometimes. I'm so scared of being vunerable towards you. You've hurt me so badly already.

You have hurt me, but I don't think you know that.

I don't know. I really don't. I do love you.

GLaDOS · Post by **GLaDOS** » Sun Dec 19, 2004 7:27 am

A: PLEASE make up your mind! I wanna know if you will be there for me... You told me you would help me change... But if you don't want to know about my "private life", you won't be able to help me! Please don't do this! I need to know if I can count on you or not... And what's this bullshit about me "corrupting" everyone? Yes, I admit. I hurt everyone around me, blah, blah, blah. But "corruption"? That's not the right word, dear. It's not my fault that I can't be happy all the time! Sorry! But if you want to be my friend, and you SAID you want to, then maybe SOMETIMES listen to what I have to say! I feel like shit anyway... Dammit. Just... just tell me what I have to do. I want to change. Really.

kurdt_kobain · Post by **kurdt_kobain** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 5:59 pm

Kiss me dammit and don't stop.

green chameleon · Post by **green chameleon** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 6:36 pm

quit fucking with my head. I will not talk to you while you manipulte me by saying you are SIing or SUing. You have done it too many times. I don't believe you any more and then I wont know when the real time will come. and you are so far away I wish I could just hold you and then all the bad times would melt away but all I have is words and they are not enough. I hope I didn't hear your beautiful voice for the last time today. I will pay attention to you without all this crisis bullshit. If you cannot come to me before a crisis what is the point. ramble ramble

lost down here · Post by **lost down here** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 2:52 am

I LOVE YOU

bus

Things Left Unsaid LA

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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