SI'ing when feeling lonely

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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lostfaeryxx
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SI'ing when feeling lonely

Post by lostfaeryxx » Sat Dec 11, 2004 12:01 am

ok well i always seem to SI when i'm feeling esp. lonely (and stressed obviously). it kind of gets out feelings of frustration i guess. does anyone else do this? Sometimes i feel that once i make a close friend or bf then i wont have to SI anymore but deep down i know thats not really the truth. :oops:
trying to fly away..trying to find my way..where i am safe and nurtured. xx

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limestone
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Post by limestone » Sun Dec 12, 2004 12:15 pm

are you scared to be alone? what will having a close friend or bf give you that si gives you when you don't have them?

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lostfaeryxx
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Post by lostfaeryxx » Sun Dec 12, 2004 8:46 pm

limestone wrote:are you scared to be alone? what will having a close friend or bf give you that si gives you when you don't have them?
well i already am alone a lot, but yes it is scary...um i dont really understand what youre asking in the second question, could u rephrase it?
trying to fly away..trying to find my way..where i am safe and nurtured. xx

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dreams
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Post by dreams » Mon Dec 13, 2004 12:07 am

I think limestone was trying to say that in your post you said that sometimes you feel like if you had a boyfriend/close friend you wouldn't need to SI anymore.

When you feel like this what is it about the relationship that you feel would mean you wouldn't need to SI?

What is is about SI that gives you that same feeling?

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I know what you mean about SI'g when your lonely. I find that when i'm lonely my feelings are intensified and become unmanagable. Unfortunately though there is no magic cure to loneliness even when i have a boyfriend or close friend around i still feel lonely. I think everything will be magically better whereas it isn't. It puts a lot of strain on my relationships because i expect to much out of them. It ends up with them leaving. I'm gradually learning that it is my feelings i need to deal with to sort out my problems and not 'finding Mr right'. I do relate to what your saying though.

dreams :clover:
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:redstar: I have been SI-free since 22nd November 2004 :redstar:

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lostfaeryxx
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Post by lostfaeryxx » Mon Dec 13, 2004 12:17 am

sometimes (this is kind of stupid) when i SI i pretend that friends are telling me i should stop..i pretend that i'm cared for..thats why ive always wanted friends or a bf, to feel cared for. xx
trying to fly away..trying to find my way..where i am safe and nurtured. xx

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marylou
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Post by marylou » Mon Dec 13, 2004 2:24 pm

I can totally relate to all this conversation, I've had similar feelings myself.

I've looked for Mr. Right and the perfect friends.
I've found myself wishing my friends would just come over to mine and just be there with me. For them just to show their support and love just by being there.

PM me if you want to chat.
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."

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limestone
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Post by limestone » Mon Dec 13, 2004 10:08 pm

lostfaeryxx wrote:sometimes (this is kind of stupid) when i SI i pretend that friends are telling me i should stop..i pretend that i'm cared for..thats why ive always wanted friends or a bf, to feel cared for. xx
^^ that's a very valid need to have. when I feel cared for I feel safe, and secure. what does feeling cared for mean for you?

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Post by Chocoboko » Thu Dec 16, 2004 8:44 am

I think what we'd get by being in a relationship that we wouldn't get by being alone is a consistent friend--someone to consistantly talk to. I know I just long to have a close friend or girlfriend. I want someone I can discuss my thoughts and feelings with--someone who would know what I am talking about.

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