Wanted to hurt someone else

[marylou]

Be careful, possible trigger
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So had the strangest experience yesterday. I was hanging out at church and talking to lots of people etc when I saw, over someone's shoulder, these guys hugging (no one in particular). The thing was I could see this persons hand across the other's back and all his veins were really pronounced and dark. I was trying to talk to people, but I was so distracted. I just wanted to take a knife to this person hand/veins so much. I wanted to see the blood pour out his veins and go everywhere. Normally my SH is more about the pain and not the blood, but this urge was just about blood. And because I knew it wouldn't hurt me, it would all be gratification (if that makes sense). It was scary and I was totally freaking myself out! Eventually I just had to walk away and be alone and breathe for a bit.
I've never had that before, and I'm not into fighting and stuff. But the urge to knife not particuarly the person, who's a good friend, but the urge to knife the veins was soooo strong. Stronger than some of my own urges to SH. I'm really paranoid that it'll come back and I won't know what to do.

[mallie]

I can relate in a way. Seeing prominent veins in other people can trigger me. I don't actually have a desire to hurt someone else, but I can imagine how 'nice' it would be to easily cut into and see blood come straight from the vein.

I don't know how to make such thoughts go away, but reassuring yourself that you aren't going to hurt other people might be a good place to start.

It does sound scary, I hope you don't have to deal with that again.

[Ruby Tuesday]

I too get triggered my seeing other people's veins....not all the time, but sometimes, like mallie says, I think about the blood etc, as if it were me, not hurting someone else. I think you did the best thing removing yourself from the situation and just trying to relax.

[marylou]

Thanks for replying! That alone reminds me that I'm not crazy and alone in this. And for you support and encouragement. Cheers!

[noldo]

I can relate in a way. Seeing prominent veins in other people can trigger me. I don't actually have a desire to hurt someone else, but I can imagine how 'nice' it would be to easily cut into and see blood come straight from the vein.

I totally agree with that. Thinking exactly the same thing. Just try to go away from that person or look elsewhere, try to distract yourself... at least that's what I'm doing in such a situation.