how do you cope with certain situations? *SI*

[scarlit_sky]

How do you cope with certain situations, rather than waiting for the urge to SI? The main problem for me is that I have a bad social phobia, and tend to not talk when there are more than three or four people around. Because of this, I get the urge to SI, since I can't talk and it makes me feel inferior. I also don't like going out into public where there is going to be alot of people because I'm afraid that I will switch (I have DID.) and that I will end up SIing and not be able to stop myself. Does that make sense? I want to know if there is any way to handle the situations before it gets to the point that I want to SI? Any help would be appreciated..... Thanks.

~Emily

[Bathelina]

Hi,

I hope this post isn't out of place but I'll give you the best adive I can. I have learnt a lot in the past about handling different sitatuion.

First situation: Panic
Panic: you haven't done your homework and you have 10 minutes to do it. The most normal reaction to this sort of situation is complete panic and break down. My friend did this the other day and let us all down by going to the nurse and giving up. I've learnt how to cope with this sort of situation; you have to calm down, breathe, and asses the situation and all the options that you have. So in this homework situation you would have to just do your best.

All that I have said applies to any situation in which you are panicking and confused. Just breathe, relax, count to 10 and asses the situation and the options you have. Think of the most rational, beneficial option and go with it. You have to make the right choices.

Good luck!
I'm sorry if this post didn't help, I usually get carried away and start talking rubbish

From Hannah

[Zebraseal]

I'm sometimes very afraid of social situations, too, but it tends to change a lot. When I'm in a good mood, it goes naturally that I talk to people. When I'm not, well, I just try to think, "later". I'll take that next small step later, I don't have to be outgoing right now.

I think it's important that you can forgive yourself. It's not the end of the world if you don't want to talk to people right now, or tomorrow, or during the next year. You can practice talking and being more outgoing, but no one can practice a difficult thing 24/7, anyway. Try to remember you're not inferior, you're good just as you are, you're good just because you're you. All of us have things that we'd rather like to be, but just because you're not exactly like your ideals or like someone else is doesn't mean you deserve to be hurt.

I find it easier to handle situations like you said, before I get the urge. Listen to yourself, listen to what you want to do and where you want to go, not only in a certain difficult situation but in general, and what you can do in order to feel better. If you get the urge, anyhow, it would maybe be useful to answer some o' those questions on the board or get a distraction... But you probably know what works the best for you when you feel triggered.

[scarlit_sky]

Thanks for the replies. Your comments make sense. I just don't know if I can do anything when the situation comes up, cuz I panic so fast. It's so hard to sit back and breathe even though it helps. I'll do my best and let yall know how it goes next time I freak out.

Thanks,
Emily

[scarlit_sky]

I went down to campus today. I didn't think I could do it, but I did. I only stayed for an hour, cuz the panic got unbearable, but that is longer than I was able to do last time. Last time I didn't even make it down to campus. I tried telling myself that it was only me and three friends when I was down there even though we were in one of the most populated areas of campus, the Union. I did it, even if it was only for an hour, I did it. Thanks for the advice.

Emily

[Zebraseal]

Go you! *applause*

[Bathelina]

Wow, well done!!

Love Hannah