anger

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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qwerty
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anger

Post by qwerty » Wed Nov 03, 2004 6:35 pm

my psychotherpist has mentioned that i si cause im angry, with myself, with him etc. He has suggested that it is my way of dealing with it

I have been thinking about this, i was never aloud to show anger as it was bad you didnt do it, so now i have a problem with it i dont know how to get angry

what do you do, how do you express it? oh i dont know

love
lucy :star:
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
La tristesse durera toujours

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meg0n
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Post by meg0n » Wed Nov 03, 2004 6:45 pm

I can totally relate with you on that, i have that problem, my one therapit (counceller) "labled" me with Passive Agressive Peronality Disorder.

i really struggle with expressing my anger and the only way is through si!

i am not much help on what you can do because i am still trying to figure that one out myself, what about trying kick boxing or jogging or something?

Meg0n :)

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littlethings
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Post by littlethings » Thu Nov 04, 2004 12:11 am

Expressing anger?

Well, I struggle with that problem too, but I've been working on healthier ways of expressing anger, here are a few:

- hitting a pillow (sometimes I just pound on my bed)
- screaming or yelling (alone works, it doesn't have to be at someone)
- telling the person I'm upset with why I feel angry (not always an option- like when you get angry at a driver who cuts you off...etc.)
- writing out how I feel and why I'm angry

Deb has a good post in sourcebook about this, I'll go find it...

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Post by littlethings » Thu Nov 04, 2004 12:20 am

okay, here we go. This is mostly about anger itself, not really how to deal with it. But I thought you could use some general information about the emotion. I know I go back to this post in sourcebook a lot.

The original post is here

ANGER WORDS
anger aggravation agitation annoyance bitterness contempt cruelty destructiveness disgust dislike envy exasperation ferocity frustration fury grouchiness grumpiness hate hostility irritation jealousy loathing meanspiritedness outrage rage resentment revulsion scorn spite torment vengefulness wrath

Prompting Events for Feeling Anger
Losing power.
Losing status.
Losing respect.
Being insulted.
Not having things turn out the way you expected.
Experiencing physical pain.
Experiencing emotional pain.
Being threatened with physical or emotional pain by someone or something.
Having an important or pleasurable activity interrupted, postponed, or stopped.
Not obtaining something you want (which another person has).

Interpretations That Prompt Feelings of Anger
Expecting pain.
Feeling that you have been treated unfairly.
Believing that things should be different.
Rigidly thinking "I'm right."
Judging that the situation is illegitimate, wrong, or unfair.
Ruminating about the event that set off the anger in the first place, or in the past.

Experiencing the Emotion of Anger
Feeling incoherent.
Feeling out of control.
Feeling extremely emotional.
Feeling tighmess or rigidity in your body.
Feeling your face flush or get hot.
Feeling nervous tension, anxiety or discomfort.
Feeling like you are going to explode.
Muscles tightening.
Teeth clamping together, mouth tightening.
Crying; being unable to stop tears.
Wanting to hit, bang the wall, throw something, blow up.

Expressing and Acting on Anger
Frowning or not smiling; mean or unpleasant facial expression.
Gritting or showing your teeth in an unfriendly manner.
Grinning.
A red or flushed face.
Verbally attacking the cause of your anger; criticizing.
Physically attacking the cause of your anger.
Using obscenities or cursing.
Using a loud voice, yelling, screaming, or shouting.
Complaining or bitching; talking about how lousy things are.
Clenching your hands or fists.
Making aggressive or threatening gestures.
Pounding on something, throwing things, breaking things.
Walking heavily or stomping; slamming doors, walking out.
Brooding or withdrawing from contract with others.

Aftereffects of Anger
Narrowing of attention.
Attending only to the situation making you angry.
Ruminating about the situation making you angry and not being able to think of anything else.
Remembering and ruminating about other situations that have made you angry in the past.
Imagining future situations that will make you angry.
Depersonalization, dissociative experience, numbness.
Intense shame, fear, or other negative emotions.

--------

JoAnna

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Post by qwerty » Thu Nov 04, 2004 10:28 am

thankyou

:)
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
La tristesse durera toujours

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