Age & gender in profile info?

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 6:35 pm

In my new-ness here, I have noticed two significant things about many of the members of this board:

1.) there seems to be very few males, and the few I think I’ve found, took a fair amount of investigative post-reading to reveal.
2.) there seems to be more young people (early teens & 20s) than I had expected (I am 35).

Now, admittedly, these are just the unscientific conclusions I’ve drawn from what I’ve observed over the past few weeks—I might not have an accurate sense of the Bus community as a whole…but, while I don’t wish to insult anyone, I have already had several instances where I have sincerely wished there was a way for me to look at people’s profiles in order to get a better sense of who they were—and the flip side of that same coin is that I wish people could do the same with me. Granted, age & gender will only provide so much information, but…well, does anyone see what I mean? On another board that I frequent, there are such fields within people’s profiles, and I have really found it invaluable on several occasions….

I did a brief search to see if this topic has ever come up before, and didn’t find anything—which actually kinda surprised me. Does anyone else wish we had such information available?

Laura · Post by **Laura** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 6:45 pm

I've a feeling it has been suggested to put it in the profile, but I can't remember....
http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=43088 maybe

There definitely has been discussion of the age and gender mix of the board - I think you'll find there are more men and older people than you realize. There have been polls about it, eg
http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=3572
http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=11729
Also, visit Down the Long Day's Arc (http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewforum.php?f=24) which is the part of the board especially for older members, if you haven't already.

Laura

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 6:59 pm

Thanks, Laura.

guest11 · Post by **guest11** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 9:33 pm

And suggested by me, funnily enough. I think you're referring to a mod on another board.... I know I've seen it. It displays your age and gender under your avatar.... an ingenious idea actually, that's why I suggested it. I didn't like people thinking I was female

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 10:46 pm

Deskana: Brutha'!!

Actually, it was information contained with each members regular "profile" section—so all you had to do was click on someone's profile information, and then you could see their age & gender. As I've said, it was a very nice feature to have, and I REALLY wish we had it here...

mallie · Post by **mallie** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 2:59 am

Space Man,

if you want people to know your details like that, i've seen some people put extra info in the "Location" section, i think angelafree has it like that, but i'm sure i've seen other people do it as well. That way other people can know your age & gender.

Oh, and i really recommend going over to Arc if you're wanting to find a few more older folk. I go on there a bit (although i'm only 23) and the people there are wonderful.

silent_scream · Post by **silent_scream** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 11:58 am

I am interested as to why you expected people to be older, when "statistics" suggest and always cater for young teenage girls when it comes to self injury?

But apart from that... I think there should be an option, but most people can put it in their 'interest' section, or their sig, or their 'location' section....

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 4:21 pm

Mallie: Thanks for the suggestion about where I might try and put such information for myself, in lieu of having an actual space for it…although, how many others here do the same thing—since I want it more to know about other members…? That's why I thought having a specific space for it in the "profile" section would encourage many more people to actually provide such information...

silent_scream: Regarding you questioning my expectations about the demographics of this board…[shrugs shoulders]…sorry—I’m at a loss to give you an answer!

silent_scream · Post by **silent_scream** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 4:25 pm

I think a lot of people don't like to give that info, because of people finding them here, so to speak, and self injury is such a private thing.....for most people..... so not so many people do it. but most people post in the 'how old are you' or 'where are you from' things on the stickies on the main board.

sorry if my question was rude, i was just wondering what you thought.

Chimera · Post by **Chimera** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 4:57 pm

There is also the "What gender are you?" thread on Main...

Jessica

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 6:13 pm

silent_scream wrote:sorry if my question was rude, i was just wondering what you thought.

Gosh, if I made it sound like I had taken offence, that was my mistake; your question was not “rude” at all.

EVERYONE: It sounds like I am really running against the grain with this suggestion of mine, and I’m just not sure why (as, again, this is a feature that is available on another board that I frequent, and it works just fine there). For what it’s worth:
• Yes, I know there are various threads that contain peoples age & gender information…but when I’m in the middle of responding to someone, and—for whatever reason—it seems important to know whether or not I am communicating with a 14 year old female, or a 40 year old male, I just wish I had only to click on the person’s “profile” to get my answer.
• If instituted, it would—of course—be optional information; if someone was uncomfortable in providing it within their “profile,” they wouldn’t have to (although on the other board to which I refer—perhaps, surprisingly—most people did provide it).

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 7:01 pm

Actually, I was always against a/s/l displays, but having just read your last post it makes sense that they exist as an option:

but when I’m in the middle of responding to someone, and—for whatever reason—it seems important to know whether or not I am communicating with a 14 year old female, or a 40 year old male,

Sometimes that is very relevant. And sometimes it would be important for me to know that, too. Some things I would just not want to talk to a younger teenager about, some things I would prefer not to talk to males about, etc, and it would be great if I could check their profile before I posted.

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 7:45 pm

spoof wrote:Sometimes that is very relevant. And sometimes it would be important for me to know that, too. Some things I would just not want to talk to a younger teenager about, some things I would prefer not to talk to males about, etc, and it would be great if I could check their profile before I posted.

EXACTLY!! Let’s say for example that I’m responding to a post about someone having problems with their parents, and the original post is very generally-worded—so much so that I can’t really guess at the age of the poster: are they 13 or 30? All I would have to do is click on their “profile” before I responded in a way that would be most appropriate to the age of the person requesting input with their problem…and surely you’ll all agree that a response to a 13 year old having “parent problems” will be much different than a response to a 30 year old—right?

Can anyone think of a good example of a sensitive topic in which it might be nice to know the gender of a poster? I’ll get it started: someone with a generic screen name talking about having problems with their “boyfriend.” Is this person female, and talking about a heterosexual relationship…or gay, and talking about a homosexual relationship? Would you like to know before you offered your advice to them?

See, examples abound…

sanabas · Post by **sanabas** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 8:10 pm

I don't think the option of having that info is a bad idea, I'd be likely to use it myself, and I sometimes click on a profile to get some idea of who's at the other end of the keyboard. I do think you've picked a bad example though. If someone's having boyfriend problems, I don't think their gender makes any difference at all. My advice is likely to be limited to hugs, and a suggestion to ask someone who's good at relationships (i.e. not me), but asking for advice because your love life is melting is like asking for advice because your ice-cream is melting, what flavour it is makes no difference.

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 8:53 pm

Fair enough, sanabas…so let’s extend my example a bit—to the point that it might matter to a more significant degree.

Fictitious/example post to follow (here’s hoping there is no actual user with the name I came up with!!):

Blue_Sky wrote: I need some advice. My new boyfriend and I are struggling a bit right now. His parents don’t know that we’ve been going out, and because of their strict religious beliefs, would freak-out if they knew we were having sex. He is uncomfortable with the way things stand, and wants to tell them about us, and introduce me to them. I, on the other hand, think this is a bad idea. Help!!

Seems fairly simple and straight forward, huh? But, if you were to glance at Blue_Sky's “profile” information, you would see that this person is actually a male—not a female, as many might have assumed from what little was written in the opening post… I don’t know about you, samabas, but I will offer a MALE making this post much different input than I will offer a FEMALE making this post.

silent_scream · Post by **silent_scream** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 9:58 pm

Space_Man wrote:Fair enough, sanabas…so let’s extend my example a bit—to the point that it might matter to a more significant degree.

Fictitious/example post to follow (here’s hoping there is no actual user with the name I came up with!!):

Blue_Sky wrote: I need some advice. My new boyfriend and I are struggling a bit right now. His parents don’t know that we’ve been going out, and because of their strict religious beliefs, would freak-out if they knew we were having sex. He is uncomfortable with the way things stand, and wants to tell them about us, and introduce me to them. I, on the other hand, think this is a bad idea. Help!!
Seems fairly simple and straight forward, huh? But, if you were to glance at Blue_Sky's “profile” information, you would see that this person is actually a male—not a female, as many might have assumed from what little was written in the opening post… I don’t know about you, samabas, but I will offer a MALE making this post much different input than I will offer a FEMALE making this post.

What different replies would you give?

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 11:12 pm

Man—you guys are tough! Isn’t it enough to say that without knowing the person’s gender prior to responding, that there is a high potential for misunderstanding within my scenario?

O.K., here goes, silent_scream:
• The ramifications of the couple “having sex” are a bit different now—or at least they might be for the boyfriend’s family (because now it isn’t just an issue with pre-marital sex, but the fact that the boyfriend’s family doesn’t even know he’s gay and has apparently been sexually active with Blue_Sky—a fellow male).
• The “strict religious beliefs” of the boyfriend’s family is really something to key-in to (IMO, at least). Until I found out more from Blue_Sky, I would operate off of the assumption that the boyfriend’s family is likely gonna object strongly to the fact that their son is apparently gay.
• If there is even mention of the boyfriend introducing Blue_Sky to his family, then I think someone should point out the safety concerns of such an introduction; that one or both of them might actually be endangered if/when the boyfriend reveals that he and Blue_Sky are a homosexual couple. But, here is where knowing Blue_Sky’s age might also be useful; if he is say 15, I would very likely mention these kinds of safety issues. If, instead, he is 40, I might be inclined to assume that Blue_Sky has (hopefully) acquired some wisdom by then, and I wouldn’t risk insulting him by pointing out the safety concerns.
• Forget the boyfriend’s family within our mock post scenario. I bet there are at least 1 or 2 people on this very forum who are uncomfortable with any aspect of discussing homosexuality. Some of those people—upon seeing the gender information contained within Blue_Sky’s “profile,” and being able to interpret his sexual orientation—might choose to not even respond to his post….whereas, without the gender information… [*cough—misunderstanding—cough*]

silent_scream · Post by **silent_scream** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 9:25 am

Lol... no, just wanted to see what you would reply

I am quite tough though!

See I see this situation differently: what if it was a hetrosexual couple and they were both under 16? (in England that's the legal age).... the age would come in handy then. And also the religious impact would come in there: with the sex and the fact that some people believe, in the christian ideal anyway: that people should date people who are not their religion: so the parents could have major problems with that.

I think I would give the same idvice to both groups of people: simply because people should feel ok to tell their family things sometimes, however hard that may be: because if they are doing something that is dangerous to them and are under any legal ages: then they will KNOW that, and if they want to tell someone it's normally a way of saying "help" .

I think there should be an option to fill in age and gender: but I don';t think this is a good example, lol, so I am just being difficult.

Space_Man · Post by **Space_Man** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:20 pm

silent_scream wrote:I think there should be an option to fill in age and gender: but I don’t think this is a good example, lol, so I am just being difficult.

Well, I guess if you agree with me (about the usefulness of having such information within the “profile” section), that’s really all that matters…but, just out of curiosity, can YOU think of some good examples of when such information (gender and/or age) might be useful to know about before posting?

silent_scream · Post by **silent_scream** » Thu Oct 21, 2004 11:25 am

Yes: if someone wanted to run away from everything and everyone: I would give a different reply to a 13 year old than I would to a 40 year old.

But before in my posts I have always said to the person i am replying to " how old are you? " before giving my opinion if i think it is important.

Age & gender in profile info?

Age & gender in profile info?

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