i didn't give in!!!

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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Sad Poetess
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i didn't give in!!!

Post by Sad Poetess » Wed Sep 29, 2004 8:03 am

i'm not sure if this is the right place to share this, please forgive me if it's not ( :oops: just new to this forum)
i have been trying to go the month of september without cutting. so far i've only relapsed 3 times (which is incredible compared to what i used to be like) and even those times weren't as bad as they normally would be. so anyway, i was thinking all day yesterday 'i have to cut i have to cut'- it became like a mantra. that night i got everything out and set it all up to cut (i'm very ritualistic when it comes to si) and i had the blade pressed to my skin. in the back of my mind this tiny voice whispered, 'you're making the wrong choice'. i actually listened to it and put down the blade and packed everything up. looking back on that i can see how i made such an incredible decision- i've just been learning recently that every choice we make, we either choose life or we choose death. (not in the exact *literal* sense, but in a manner of speaking) i'm trying to turn my mind around to choose the *right* path rather than the convinient and 'cop out' path. it's hard and sometimes i fall, but i just have to get back up and brush the dust off and keep going.
i just really wanted to share that. sorry if it's not appropriate on this forum, i'm really sorry.
<center>I strove with none, for none was worth my strife.
Nature I loved and, next to nature, art.
I warmed both hands before the fire of life;
It sinks, and I am ready to depart-Walter Savage Landor



Proud member of C.B.F- Couldn't Be F*cked
Think this is crazy? Try here!

<table width="50%"><tr><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="red">.</td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="orange"></td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="yellow"></td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="green"></td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="blue"></td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="purple"></td></tr></table>Marriage Is Love</center>
<center>Rest In Peace Jenny, Liam, Leil and Wendy... I pray that you are all happy now that you have escaped this nasty world and left the rest of us to deal with the grief</center>

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truce
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Post by truce » Wed Sep 29, 2004 4:15 pm

i am sure this is the right place for this. i am so proud of you that you could listen to that voice. i am glad that you can actually listened to that whisper.

Congratulations on this magnificent achievement. i think sometimes we all hear that voice but just see no way out. you are an inspiration to me. that was all i really wanted to say.
<center>SI Free since 30 May 2006
Personal Best SI 25 days
Alcohol Free since 12 July 2006
If at first you dont succeed, try another place

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Sad Poetess
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Post by Sad Poetess » Thu Sep 30, 2004 8:42 am

thank you so much. that means a lot to me. i'm struggling a bit right now though...
<center>I strove with none, for none was worth my strife.
Nature I loved and, next to nature, art.
I warmed both hands before the fire of life;
It sinks, and I am ready to depart-Walter Savage Landor



Proud member of C.B.F- Couldn't Be F*cked
Think this is crazy? Try here!

<table width="50%"><tr><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="red">.</td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="orange"></td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="yellow"></td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="green"></td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="blue"></td><td width="16.67%" bgcolor="purple"></td></tr></table>Marriage Is Love</center>
<center>Rest In Peace Jenny, Liam, Leil and Wendy... I pray that you are all happy now that you have escaped this nasty world and left the rest of us to deal with the grief</center>

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