urges returning *si*

XclippedXwingsX · Post by **XclippedXwingsX** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 2:03 am

SI and Language

I dunno what's wrong with me but I've already gotten urges returning to my mind... And there's really no reason why I should even want to cut myself...

I can't think of any reason as to why I should cut. I've come up with nothing, but I've been getting urges to cut myself... I think my body actually misses it right now. Can anyone possible undertstand this??? Or am I just a ranting lunatic who has no fucking clue as to what she's talking about?

I'm such a loser... I need to shut up...

xXx Charm xXx

littlethings · Post by **littlethings** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 5:36 pm

I can understand it. This is my take on it: your body wants you to feel better. it has been trained to know that SI will make you feel better for a little while, so if you feel ____ it will make you urgey to SI.

Maybe there isn't an external reason you want to SI, but if you are feeling urgey, then there must be some sort of emotional/mental issue behind it.

How are you feeling right now? Sad? Frustrated? Angry? Desperate? self-hating? Overwhelmed? Guilty? Any combination of the above or something else?

All of those things can make you feel like you want to self-injure. And they are perfectly valid reasons to feel urgey.

JoAnn

Lyndsie · Post by **Lyndsie** » Sun Sep 26, 2004 5:59 pm

I understand what your saying. I felt the same way after a time when i stopped. It's hard but you have to find other ways to deal with them. Your body is use to SI being their. So now you need to find new ways so that your body realizes that it has other ways to cope.

Lyndsie

truce · Post by **truce** » Mon Sep 27, 2004 11:49 am

now i understand better why this forum is here. the last while, yes i have had some valid feelings or happenings to trigger an urge and a following si episode (as such) but have also been going through a lot of is being said here.

its what else do you do if you cant self injure. how else am i supposed to cope. so yes i also feel this way sometimes and you are not alone.

hugs if you want some

XclippedXwingsX · Post by **XclippedXwingsX** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 12:51 am

I just can't describe how horrible I feel... I haven't SIed though...yet... And I'm proud of that. But it's so much mixture of emotions and stress all put together. But I can't find the key that's making want to cut more than anything... I've been writing a lot... and that's helped me so far. But sometimes... the urges get so big that I can't stand it...

Post by **Jomomma** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 4:58 am

I'm glad the writing seems ot be helping
Is there anything specific that seems to be making you urgy right now?
Can you get out and maybe go for a walk or listen to some comforting music to take your mind off things for a bit?

Jo

XclippedXwingsX · Post by **XclippedXwingsX** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 11:57 pm

I think I'm over my urges right now and luckily I didn't give in. I came close a few times but I fought it. Hide my tools from myself so I couldn't get to them...

To answer jomomma's question... I wasn't quite sure what was making me feel urgy. I think it was a mixture of pressure from parents, school, my grades, my boyfriend, and not to mention a death I had just experianced of a close friend... and I was just dead tired. But I think a mixture of those things caused my urges.

I should tell my T on friday when I have my session... I'm planning to tell her everything, even a few pictures I drew. The pictures kinda scare me though, looking at them now. But I think I'm ok for now. *smiles* Thanks everyone for the help.

xXx Charm xXx

Lyndsie · Post by **Lyndsie** » Wed Sep 29, 2004 8:36 pm

Good job with not giving into the urges. I proud of you!

I hope your alright!

~Lyndsie

XclippedXwingsX · Post by **XclippedXwingsX** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 9:05 pm

Thank you Lyndsie. I'm proud of myself too. ANd I haven't had any urges since this episode. And I'm so proud of myself because of it!

xXx Charm xXx

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