All the Times I've stopped up till now! *SI*

Lyndsie · Post by **Lyndsie** » Tue Aug 24, 2004 8:04 pm

They make me feel like i'm worth nothing. I try so hard, yet in the end what i do is always worth nothing. I'm a worthless nothing who cuts, and bleeds because of them.

They make me feel like a worthless nothing.
Then i cut.
Thats how the story goes over and over again.
On repeat.
Sometimes I wish they would stop, so the story wouldn't reapeat.

Lyndsie · Post by **Lyndsie** » Tue Aug 24, 2004 9:39 pm

I wana cut. But i don't think i can allow myself to, cause it will be like giving them power over me. She lied and now i want to cut because of it. She made me feel ths pain and hurt.

At this moment I will not allow her to do this to me. Instead I will cut away my part of the story!

She may have lied.
But i don't have to cut.
At this moment I have control over the story, not her!

littlethings · Post by **littlethings** » Tue Aug 24, 2004 10:14 pm

That's right. You do have control over your self-injury. It's a huge step to realize that. I'm proud of you for that.

JoAnna

Lyndsie · Post by **Lyndsie** » Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:07 am

Thanks. I think i'm proud of myself, too!

I didn't cut yesterday even though I really wanted to. I just wouldn't allow myself to give them power. So I gave myself back the power. FOr once when i had the power, I didn't cut.

Laura · Post by **Laura** » Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:02 pm

That's great Lyndsie - not only that you didn't cut, but that you have recognised your own power in this. Well done

Lyndsie · Post by **Lyndsie** » Thu Aug 26, 2004 11:17 pm

Thanks Laura.

I agree. I'm proud of myself. Thats abig step within it's self. Caus eit's not offten that i'm that proud of myself!

~Lyndsie

Lyndsie · Post by **Lyndsie** » Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:15 pm

(After)

I cut because Of my ED. Then I could have stopped cutting, but i had some triggring words that made me cut more. It all delt with my ED.

I jut don't know. Usally my ED doesn't have that big of an effect on me.

If i hadn't cut I would still feel the same way. Cause of something that happend yesterday dealing with my ED.

I wishh i didn't have an ED, then I wouldn't have cut last night!

At least i know why what happend, happend. Thats a step in the right direction, I GUESS.

Lyndsie · Post by **Lyndsie** » Mon Aug 30, 2004 4:47 pm

^^^^^
Only thing I feel connected to cause I've lost/become unconnected with my family!

The stinging causes an inside scream that I hold in, Thats I want to get out becaus eof the abuse!

bus

All the Times I've stopped up till now! SI

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