Cutting words *culd be a trigger but not sure, sori if it is

t-i-gg-r · Post by **t-i-gg-r** » Thu Jul 01, 2004 10:23 pm

Hey im sorry to bug you all coz i know uve got better things to do than listen to me but i was wondering if anyone cuts words into themselves. Ive been doing this for about 3 months as normal cuts arent really helping anymore (i know they dont in the long run but hey thts life) and i was wondering if anyon knows how to kinda stop this. Ok dont read this bit as it mite be a trigger but like seing worthless in blood on my thigh makes me feel almost at ease as if my body really does replicate wht is on the outside. I dont think im ready to stop SIing completely but would really like to find a way to stop the words coz it is much harder to say that the rock u fell on is very literate and advanced for an inaminate object. Has anyone else done this, and if so do u know ways of stopping or at least reverting back to 'normal' SIing. Sorry to have wasted ur time bout this lol and if its just me (which it prob is coz it feel like im going crazy at the mo lol) im sori to have written this and this message can be deleted if u want. Thanx anyway for letting me actually write this down.

Laura · Post by **Laura** » Thu Jul 01, 2004 11:14 pm

Hi

No, you're definitely not alone in this. I've done that too, and like you, I mostly find it's self-hating words that I want to cut.

There's been several thread and polls about this:
http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=8798
http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=16541
http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=34560
http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=40186
http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=50042
That many, so you're DEFINITELY not alone!

It's something I have mixed feelings about. I regret doing it, because the scars it leaves really can't be explained as anything other than SI. But looking back on the times I did it, I think the added release of self hate in making a word may have prevented me from inflicting a more severe injury - like for me it's maybe a safer way to get the pain out?

Ways to stop - well, like you said, the scars are some motivation, if you can remind yourself at the time you want to SI of how awkward it will be later on. What about writing the words on yourself with a red pen? I've done that too (be aware that it doesn't always wash off too easily!). Someone also suggested using a henna tattoo kit to make words.

I hope you can find something that helps you.
Take care of yourself
Love Laura

t-i-gg-r · Post by **t-i-gg-r** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 10:53 pm

hey thanx for replying back it was really nice of u to take the time to do that, and take care of urslef too luv me xxx

bright.eyes · Post by **bright.eyes** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:17 pm

No you're definitely not alone, I've heard of a lot of people doing that, and I did it myself once. I tried to cut "This mistake is breaking me" into my ankle because its a line from a song i love, and it just seemed so completely true because my mistake of cutting myself was completely breaking me. So i can understand what you mean about your body replicating the outside. I don't know what to suggest to stop it though

Maybe you could write the words down instead of on your body? Take care

littlethings · Post by **littlethings** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 4:53 am

I've only got one word: "Failure"

And it's a fairly recent acquisition.

Before whenever I felt the need to write words I would do the sharpie thing. I've got about a million red sharpies

It helped, and I'm trying to go back to the sharpie, even though my scars can't be explained as anything other than si anyway

The other thing I do is take out a piece of posterboard and hold it up (so it's vertical, perpendicular to the table) and take a craft knife and cut the words I want to cut into the posterboard.

Maybe that could help you not do words on yourself?

JoAnna

Solemn Rurouni · Post by **Solemn Rurouni** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 8:26 am

after talking to another SIer once, I was triggered to cut 'sinner' in my arms and legs. You're definately not alone...

depressedgrl666 · Post by **depressedgrl666** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 1:36 pm

i have about 5 words carved into my skin...u r definantly not alone. i do the same thing as littlethings i cut the word i want to carve into my skin on cardboard.. but beware it doesnt always work....my thoughts are with you...
~lauren
queen of darkness

PaperDoll · Post by **PaperDoll** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 3:24 pm

I've cut words too. "FAT"... "Chris"... and some others which I can't remember.

x

tiltheend · Post by **tiltheend** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 6:52 am

Last week, I wrote the words "I wish I could die" on my body. It was the first time I wrote words... and I'm still not sure what made me do it. I don't want to die ....

soulstory · Post by **soulstory** » Sat Aug 28, 2004 1:00 am

I have a scar that says "pain" along with a name and several symbol scars. For me, the worst thing about these is that they let others see how I truly feel and that scares me. The other bad thing is that since my scars are keloids, they sometimes change as they heal. And what used to clearly say "pain" now looks a bit like "pam". Who is "Pam", people ask. Eternally misunderstood ::sigh:: Oh well!

Take care.
Catherine

kurdt_kobain · Post by **kurdt_kobain** » Sat Aug 28, 2004 8:24 pm

Yes, I have.

moojo · Post by **moojo** » Tue Aug 31, 2004 3:43 am

soulstory wrote:I have a scar that says "pain" along with a name and several symbol scars. For me, the worst thing about these is that they let others see how I truly feel and that scares me. The other bad thing is that since my scars are keloids, they sometimes change as they heal. And what used to clearly say "pain" now looks a bit like "pam". Who is "Pam", people ask. Eternally misunderstood ::sigh:: Oh well!

Take care.
Catherine

ive done soem words and symbols.. i find that now aabout a year later... these are the ones i am most ashamed of. and they hurt me to look at them... yet i can remember when i was making them... how i felt it was SO important that they say or be what they were... i couldnt just make a "regular" cut... it had to be that shape word whatever... *shrug*

Boris · Post by **Boris** » Thu Sep 02, 2004 4:04 am

i've written words, almost always it's been "no". one problem with taht is that when turned upside down or sideways, it can then become oz, zo, or on. which could produce questions, not that i've ever let anybody see a word scar.

i've found that i can use a sharpie or other marker to write the words, and flick a band at myself or scratch myself with my fingernails, and it feels about the same, at least temporarily, and i'm not stuck with scarring. i've also written the words on a paper and then shredded it up into little tiny pieces.

Bathelina · Post by **Bathelina** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 7:34 pm

Hi, a lot of peole do this, I think. I never have myself, but I think you should just use the normal way to stop this.

Just distract yourself. Think about what you are doing before you do it. Try to talk yourself out of it, and if you can't, then call someone. You have to start thinking of things that you know will distract you.

Good luck!
From Hannah

:):):)

~*Star*~ · Post by **~*Star*~** » Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:59 pm

I have done too. Several times.

Like other people have put, you can try and replicate the word else where (eg on paper) or on your body with something safe like henna. Ive written the words with my finger nails too. I also generally just try and imagine the word instead, imagine doing everything, instead of actually doing it. Sometimes that works just as well.

BuyMeLife · Post by **BuyMeLife** » Mon Sep 20, 2004 2:58 pm

i have done "cold" up my thigh. so good that it has almost faded...i hate those scars - as it was said, they are too meaningul, let alone hard to explain/excuse.

riseagainst · Post by **riseagainst** » Wed Sep 22, 2004 4:10 am

ive cut a x-gfs name into my arm after i got dumped before. andive cut a big "im sorry" on my arm after i prommised my friend i woulnd SI anymor but i couldnt stop SIigs so yea ur not alone

darkrose · Post by **darkrose** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 3:40 am

ya, words are what I do when "normal" SI doesn't do it anymore. I'm not sure how (or if) I've stopped but I guess writing it on paper a zillion or so times would probably lessen the urge to write it on yourself...or maybe using a red marker or pen on your body instead...well those are my suggestions

-darkrose

iamnothing · Post by **iamnothing** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 11:23 am

well i have done it..."cold" , "zero" and some random "x"-s. sucks to explain though... but i find it really helpful to write on myself..

FoolinTheRain · Post by **FoolinTheRain** » Thu Oct 28, 2004 2:33 am

lust is on my leg

your so deffinatly not alone.

Cutting words *culd be a trigger but not sure, sori if it is

Cutting words *culd be a trigger but not sure, sori if it is

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