Things Left Unsaid *LA*
- kurdt_kobain
- forum moderator emeritus
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- sam_girl
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1856
- Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2004 2:14 pm
- Location: Lost inside my mind...
iain~ i love u, im here 4 u because u keep me going. i want 2 break up because i am so dependant on u but i want 2 stay 2gether more because im so dependant on u and because i love u. don't hurt me, don't leave me 2 be eaten by the demons in my mind. but also, don't love me, hate me and leave me 4 some1 new and better. i want u 2 be happy and i don't understand how i can do that. leave me alone but never leave me alone.
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- sam_girl
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1856
- Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2004 2:14 pm
- Location: Lost inside my mind...
my brother~ u r such a selfish arrogant twat! out of all the brothers in this world why did i end up with u?! do u know hwo much ur words hurt me? can u see my eyes glaze over cos i try 2 shut them out? you tell me everyday that im pathetic, that im a bitch and that im selfish- well look in the fucking mirror! u have no respect 4 other, inc our parents, who then take it out on me. im sorry im smart, im sorry that ive always worked harder than u at my education but u could have worked harder urself, thats not my fault. don't punish me because i'm trying 2 make something out of myself. u do bloody a levels and then go in2 a full time job- i don't care that im not working full time! i want a god damn break! if u knew, if u even knew, how many times u've lead me 2 SI....... but i can imagine ur reaction anyway. ud tell me that i was pathetic and that i was seeking attention and being selfish etc etc, ive heard all the insults b4. u'd think i was doing it 2 be dramatic. well u know wat? FUCK OFF cos u know shit all about me. u don't know about the nites when i cry myself 2 sleep, or how ill look at all my anti-depressants 4 5 minutes sometimes deciding whether or not 2 take them all and end this stupid life. i mean, wat am i needed for when im just 'pathetic and selfish and a bitch' huh? well ur lazy and nasty and disrespectful and arrogant and ignorant and selfish! yes! ur the selfish 1! let me live my own life, im not the same as u. let me be myself and support me and appreciate me.
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- Firinn Annam
- meeting the neighbors
- Posts: 303
- Joined: Sun Aug 18, 2002 5:06 am
- Location: australia
unsaid
D- i'm a part of you so have to love you somehow, but i dont know you. You were never there and when you were, you were outta your mind and only made me want to hate you more.
M- stop talking about how good you want to be and how sorry you are for the past. Act on it. Show me you want me here now when i need you
Sis You are not too good for this family. Dont bring me down. We are very different, accept and appreciate that, I do not want to be like you, but i love you and wish you were in my life more.
Bro and sis I am sorry i can not tell you my deepest darkest thoughts, i would scare you. BUt i AM thankful you are in my life. I love you guys.
A & B... Why leave? i am selfish to want you to stay i know, but i need you guys. My wing men who have saved my life more than once. I want to see you more often
MR - You tel me you like me and want to be with me, then fall for your ex's lies. When that fucks up you think you can come back to me... NO i will not be second best anymore. We should have never been together, the guilt eats at me everyday. Be my friend like you used to be. ! Hold me, hug me and tell me it's ok
ST - i am sorry. You helped me, i needed your wisdom. I am so thankful everyday
G - i miss our hanging out. You took me away from the crap feelings. I miss that.
Those things in my head that haunt me - FUCK YOU for my weakness. Fuck the way i crave and need you to survive, but you are the thing that prays on me and stops me from trully living. Either give me the strength to leave and take you with me to make sure you can not haunt anyone else. Or the courage to ask for forgiveness. I am too proud and i blame you. Stop judging me i judge myself critically enough, I dont want to need you. Fuck the drugs you pollute my mind and body with. I hate you for making me feel so alive and happy on a synthetic high - allow me the pleasure for one day to not be driven by you...
everyone -I AM TRYING THE BEST WAY I KNOW HOW. I HAVNT SLIPPED IN OVER A YEAR. HUG ME AND TELL ME YOU ARE PROUD OF WHO I AM, THAT TO LIVE IS OK. [/b]
M- stop talking about how good you want to be and how sorry you are for the past. Act on it. Show me you want me here now when i need you
Sis You are not too good for this family. Dont bring me down. We are very different, accept and appreciate that, I do not want to be like you, but i love you and wish you were in my life more.
Bro and sis I am sorry i can not tell you my deepest darkest thoughts, i would scare you. BUt i AM thankful you are in my life. I love you guys.
A & B... Why leave? i am selfish to want you to stay i know, but i need you guys. My wing men who have saved my life more than once. I want to see you more often
MR - You tel me you like me and want to be with me, then fall for your ex's lies. When that fucks up you think you can come back to me... NO i will not be second best anymore. We should have never been together, the guilt eats at me everyday. Be my friend like you used to be. ! Hold me, hug me and tell me it's ok
ST - i am sorry. You helped me, i needed your wisdom. I am so thankful everyday
G - i miss our hanging out. You took me away from the crap feelings. I miss that.
Those things in my head that haunt me - FUCK YOU for my weakness. Fuck the way i crave and need you to survive, but you are the thing that prays on me and stops me from trully living. Either give me the strength to leave and take you with me to make sure you can not haunt anyone else. Or the courage to ask for forgiveness. I am too proud and i blame you. Stop judging me i judge myself critically enough, I dont want to need you. Fuck the drugs you pollute my mind and body with. I hate you for making me feel so alive and happy on a synthetic high - allow me the pleasure for one day to not be driven by you...
everyone -I AM TRYING THE BEST WAY I KNOW HOW. I HAVNT SLIPPED IN OVER A YEAR. HUG ME AND TELL ME YOU ARE PROUD OF WHO I AM, THAT TO LIVE IS OK. [/b]
"Life is another day in life. Life is like a book. A book has 6 sides, inside and outside. So how do you get what's inside out?" - GIA
"I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT FEELS..." - One Perfect Day
Last SI'd 12.1.03
"I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT FEELS..." - One Perfect Day
Last SI'd 12.1.03
- kurdt_kobain
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 7964
- Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 11:22 pm
- Gender: Vagina Positive
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[size=0]
I wish you didn't suck. You suck so bad I can't believe it. I can't stand to look at you every day. I can't stand to wake up and be with you. I can't stand to have anything to do with you. I hate you so bad.
I hate waking up and knowing that I'm still you. I can't stand you. I honestly can't. You're a stupid bitch. A stupid, whiney overreacting, melodramatic, ugly, fat, disgusting, replusive, worthless and unwanted piece of shit. And that's all you'll ever be.
Just look at all those people. They don't like you. They don't want you, they don't need you. They could care less about you, because you are a horrible person. They all see it, and you're only fooling yourself by trying to make friends and wanting to feel like you're worth something.
Megan, you are worth nothing. I want to make this so clear, because I never want you to feel anything good ever again. I want you to die. I want you to live and suffer. I want everything bad to happen to you and for you to fall face down and be stoned to death by your gods. I want you to never have anyone, ever, in your whole life.
I don't want you to be friends with anyone because you'll just ruin that for them. You are worth nothing. I hate you. I hate looking into the mirror and seeing your ugly face staring back at me. I hate feeling you cry, feeling your tears pour down my face. You shouldn't be weak enough to cry. You need to hurt. You need to suffer. You are less then dirt. You're a liar, you're ugly, you're everything you never wanted to be.
That's you. You're so horrible. I wish you were dead.
I could think of so many ways to kill you off. It would be so nice. I want to hurt you. Every instinct that doesn't suck in me wants to hurt you, and kill you, and leave you lying on the ground with dirt in your cuts, watching the people walk by, because you are not important enough for them to stop.
I hate you. I really, honestly hate you.[/size]
I wish you didn't suck. You suck so bad I can't believe it. I can't stand to look at you every day. I can't stand to wake up and be with you. I can't stand to have anything to do with you. I hate you so bad.
I hate waking up and knowing that I'm still you. I can't stand you. I honestly can't. You're a stupid bitch. A stupid, whiney overreacting, melodramatic, ugly, fat, disgusting, replusive, worthless and unwanted piece of shit. And that's all you'll ever be.
Just look at all those people. They don't like you. They don't want you, they don't need you. They could care less about you, because you are a horrible person. They all see it, and you're only fooling yourself by trying to make friends and wanting to feel like you're worth something.
Megan, you are worth nothing. I want to make this so clear, because I never want you to feel anything good ever again. I want you to die. I want you to live and suffer. I want everything bad to happen to you and for you to fall face down and be stoned to death by your gods. I want you to never have anyone, ever, in your whole life.
I don't want you to be friends with anyone because you'll just ruin that for them. You are worth nothing. I hate you. I hate looking into the mirror and seeing your ugly face staring back at me. I hate feeling you cry, feeling your tears pour down my face. You shouldn't be weak enough to cry. You need to hurt. You need to suffer. You are less then dirt. You're a liar, you're ugly, you're everything you never wanted to be.
That's you. You're so horrible. I wish you were dead.
I could think of so many ways to kill you off. It would be so nice. I want to hurt you. Every instinct that doesn't suck in me wants to hurt you, and kill you, and leave you lying on the ground with dirt in your cuts, watching the people walk by, because you are not important enough for them to stop.
I hate you. I really, honestly hate you.[/size]
but it's a lot harder than it looks because even though
they had the same size feet as us, they weren't looking
down the whole time while they walked to make sure
they were doing it right.
[story people]
S - this is my vacation too. please don't corner me into doing that thing you love to do all the time. Gimme a break!
J - you need to take care of YOU. S can take care of himself; you WILL survive his absence.
M - please please please don't drink and drive again. I love you too much to lose you.
J - you need to take care of YOU. S can take care of himself; you WILL survive his absence.
M - please please please don't drink and drive again. I love you too much to lose you.
<center>Sometimes I feel like an ugly, broken doll.</center>
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dad - fuck you. i guess i'm not worth your time.
gaelen - i'm so sorry. i really am, i'm a bitch. horrible friend.
bill - sorry i'm not good enough, sorry i'm stupid. and sorry for everything. i want to talk to you, i need to because i can't talk to anyone else. but yesterday you said you don't want to hear me bitch tonight cause i'm tired. fuck you, this isn't because i'm tired. it's because i hurt, and i pushed everyone else away, and i'm angry. i'm so angry. and just because you said that, i'm not going to tell you why i'm upset. i'll deal with it my own way.
ben - i'm sorry.
gaelen - i'm so sorry. i really am, i'm a bitch. horrible friend.
bill - sorry i'm not good enough, sorry i'm stupid. and sorry for everything. i want to talk to you, i need to because i can't talk to anyone else. but yesterday you said you don't want to hear me bitch tonight cause i'm tired. fuck you, this isn't because i'm tired. it's because i hurt, and i pushed everyone else away, and i'm angry. i'm so angry. and just because you said that, i'm not going to tell you why i'm upset. i'll deal with it my own way.
ben - i'm sorry.
i thought i was a fool for no one, but baby i'm a fool for you.
[safe since february 2005.]
[safe since february 2005.]
bill - don't worry about me. you can't save me either way. and i don't know if i want to meet your friends. cause i'm stupid, remember? and i know that there's going to be at least one (probably more) girl there you've already fucked. how will that make me feel? let me wallow in my misery, like you told me to.
i want to cry.
i want to cry.
i thought i was a fool for no one, but baby i'm a fool for you.
[safe since february 2005.]
[safe since february 2005.]
don't tell me what i want.
don't tell me what i need.
do not tell me that you're helping,
when you don't know anything.
you don't know me.
and you can't save me.
i don't like regrets. but i can't live with this one. and i can't keep the secret inside me forever, because it's killing me. i'm so sorry. i want to take it back, more than anything.
don't tell me what i need.
do not tell me that you're helping,
when you don't know anything.
you don't know me.
and you can't save me.
i don't like regrets. but i can't live with this one. and i can't keep the secret inside me forever, because it's killing me. i'm so sorry. i want to take it back, more than anything.
i thought i was a fool for no one, but baby i'm a fool for you.
[safe since february 2005.]
[safe since february 2005.]
Someone:You fucking betrayed me. I hate myself for not being able to get over it but i can never totally trust you again. I want to but i can't. So it hurts that i now i have someone who loves me and i can't go back to you. You left me sobbing on the street, knowing i wouldn't go inside when i was that upset. You couldn't even look at me. You made me feel like i was worthless, not good enough to care about cuz i wasn't perfect. I tried to tell you how i feel and you slept with your back to me all night. You said you wanted to meet me again when i was healthy. You turned your back on me when i needed you the most and so even though i have forgiven you i cannot go back to the way things were. I wanted to cut because of you but never did. And now i love someone else so much and i'm sorry. I wanted to be perfect for you and couldn't.
Someone else:I love you so much and i miss you and i'm not even allowed to do that because i never really loved you. I hate to be so affected by you but i am. I started cutting because of supressing my feelings about you. That is not your fault but it is true. I will never actually tell you that. I'm so sorry for messing everything up. I'm also so angry that you used me. I let you and wanted you to but you did anyway. I'm sorry i wasn't honest from the beginning how i was feeling about you. I wish my feelings could have mattered. I don't want to say that i've been ruined by two relationships. But i also don't ever want to trust anyone again. I don't want to care. I wish i could get mad at you. But all i do is miss you.
~me
Someone else:I love you so much and i miss you and i'm not even allowed to do that because i never really loved you. I hate to be so affected by you but i am. I started cutting because of supressing my feelings about you. That is not your fault but it is true. I will never actually tell you that. I'm so sorry for messing everything up. I'm also so angry that you used me. I let you and wanted you to but you did anyway. I'm sorry i wasn't honest from the beginning how i was feeling about you. I wish my feelings could have mattered. I don't want to say that i've been ruined by two relationships. But i also don't ever want to trust anyone again. I don't want to care. I wish i could get mad at you. But all i do is miss you.
~me
Deliver me, out of my sadness.
Deliver me, from all of the madness.
Deliver me, courage to guide me.
Deliver me, strength from inside me.
All of my life i've been in hiding...
~Sarah Brightman
Deliver me, from all of the madness.
Deliver me, courage to guide me.
Deliver me, strength from inside me.
All of my life i've been in hiding...
~Sarah Brightman
- miss_you_love
- settling in
- Posts: 128
- Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2004 10:55 pm
- Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA
Leslie--Shut the fuck up and quit whining. Your problems are no one's fault but your own. If you didn't want those kids, you didn't have to have them. Don't fuck them up just because you are too selfish to be a mother.
"It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we can live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead."
I have been SI-free for <img src="http://si.flagellatedprotozoan.com/coun ... &count=YWD">
I have been SI-free for <img src="http://si.flagellatedprotozoan.com/coun ... &count=YWD">
- kurdt_kobain
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 7964
- Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 11:22 pm
- Gender: Vagina Positive
- Location: Southeast US / Age: 22
- Contact:
i'm sorry. i know i shouldn't have done it. i'm so sorry. please forgive me and love me again.
but it's a lot harder than it looks because even though
they had the same size feet as us, they weren't looking
down the whole time while they walked to make sure
they were doing it right.
[story people]
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