nothing short of emotional catharsis which I should be able to achieve in other ways.
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it will bring all sorts of nasty things I don't want, and some very temporary relief.
it will take away this "building up" feeling, but it will come back
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel like even though it was hard, I did it anyway.
hurting myslef won't stop that from happening, but it will change the definition of "did it anyway" to something I would be less happy with.
so farther. but it might make making it a bit easier.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
doesn't seem like the best option, I just want it.
it will last till tomorrow
and tomorrow I will pick up agian because it will be a new day, and I'll make the choice again and again and again.
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could go back to bed and cry. it won't change it either, i might feel better.
change will last until I get out of bed. and then I'll be just about here agian.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I'll feel like shit.
less like shit.
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I really want to disappear. I want to be taken care of, I want everything to be ok I want more second chances and more special exceptions, and I want to not be sick.
I dont' know I don[t know I don't know.
I think I can cry.
i dont' know what else to do now but cry.
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I don't feel I need to.
a couple really rotten days, and a big fight and a lot of stress and feelings of personal weakness and inadequacy.
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yeah.
nothing. it goes away on its own.
I felt like this
What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
nothing. I havent' done anything. I'm doing this.
I'm just waiting it out. I don't know what I could do. I don't wnat to distract myself, I don't want to pretend it's not there, or try to soothe myself, I just want it to stop.and I want someone else to care.
How do I feel right now?
scared sad hurt sore sick ugly alone
How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
I don't know anymore, it's been too long.
I would feel better.
I would feel worse.
basically I would feel different
How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
I'll feel like shit
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
not really, it's just life, we all break down.
Do I need to hurt myself?
no.
prox. [nothing]
