listening to urges questions to answer **si, su

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Post by Wandering » Sun Feb 15, 2004 12:55 am

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
* well it won't really change anything, cos I just feel depressed. So it would improve the feeling initially but then make it much much worse

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
* It would get me out of this feeling of desperation I've had since stopping 6 weeks ago. It would take away that time where I've managed to overcome the urges, and I'd have to start from scratch again. Which I don't know if I have the energy to do. It would mean having to tell my youth leader that I messed up, and I don't really wanna have to do that. I'd rather have her looking happy like she did when she asked me last time, and I could say (with all honesty) that I hadn't cut

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
* I want to feel happy. And if thats a little too much to ask then I want to feel I can overcome urges if I want to. Cutting now would prove my opinion that I'm incapable of overcoming si, which wouldn't improve how I feel at all

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
* Well it would bring relief for maybe 10 minutes after I did it, in which time hopefully I'd be able to get to sleep. But after that I'd feel so like dirt. I don't wanna feel like that

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
* Fight the urge. Wrap my hands in tape to stop myself cutting. Sit awake until I'm too tired to do anything stupid. Problem is, it won't change the situation, only postpone it til another day, when I'll have to make this choice again

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
* Like absolute dirt, stupid, and selfish. Like I deserve to go to hell. If I resist it and don't cut, I'll feel nothing

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
* I still want to cut, in my heart. But I hope not to, in my head. Cos I know its stupid to, that I'd lose so much for one moment of ?pleasure? So I'll try to resist.

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Post by Violet218 » Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:28 am

  1. how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
    i will feel better initially
  2. what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
    it may make me more capable to handle the situation - i will have removed some of the stress, and may be calmer. but i may be more anxious cos i will have fresh scars.
  3. how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
    i dont know
  4. if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
    it will last for an hour or so and then i will hate myself
  5. what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
    i dont know what to do to change the situation i'm in. or what to do instead of hurting myself. i'm waiting for the psych appointment.
  6. how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
    i'll be annoyed cos i've broken my si-free days again
  7. what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
    i want to be in bed - i want to be on my own and not trapped at work. i'm going to transfer and eat less. i'mnot healthy but i'm trying. i will think about these questions more and come back at lunch - in too much of a hurry right now.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

deb[/quote]

thanks deb - anything that helps - and this has got me through tea break..

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Post by Ananya » Fri Jul 23, 2004 3:22 am

thanks, im definately going to remember this is here to use!

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Post by scorpio 88 girl dragon » Mon Jul 26, 2004 7:41 pm

*i have a si question*

whats the salt and ice method?

how do you do the salt and ice method?
“No matter how much of a crybaby she might be and probably will always be, she will do whatever it takes, climb whatever mountain, cross whatever ocean, to protect those she loves.”

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Post by littlethings » Tue Jul 27, 2004 9:26 am

*cough*

That's not a coping method dear, that's an si method.
We don't share those...

JoAnna

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Post by scorpio 88 girl dragon » Tue Jul 27, 2004 4:45 pm

littlethings wrote:*cough*

That's not a coping method dear, that's an si method.
We don't share those...

JoAnna
oh...ok thaxz.

how do i cope.
i write,read,read sad n depressing articles,read sad n depressing articles with ppl like me with problems like me,listen to sad depressing music,watch a comedy movie,talk to some1 over the net like a friend,n finally talk to some1 on the phone n talk to my self.
“No matter how much of a crybaby she might be and probably will always be, she will do whatever it takes, climb whatever mountain, cross whatever ocean, to protect those she loves.”

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Post by littlethings » Tue Jul 27, 2004 11:27 pm

Coping?

Talking about it, posting on bus, answering the listening to urges questions, or kharre's questions, but I really recommend Laura's Huge List (in this forum under stickies).

There are a million things to do. :)

JoAnna

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Post by RickTheTwinkie » Wed Jul 28, 2004 4:06 am

scorpio 88 girl dragon wrote:*i have a si question*

whats the salt and ice method?

how do you do the salt and ice method?
Jo's right. That actually damages tissue. Take it from someone who's tried it.
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Post by littlethings » Wed Jul 28, 2004 7:23 am

Well...err...now I'm actually answering the questions :oops:

1. how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
The feelings will subside, and temporarily be replaced by new ones of calmness and happiness. But the situation will be essentially unchanged.

2. what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
I will feel better in the short-term. But I think tomorrow I will feel sad about losing my days, and probably upset & urgey again. And I'll probably end up SI'ing that day too, since I won't have any days to lose. It won't change anything- except setting me back.

3. how do I want to feel about this in the long run? Is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
In the long run, I want to stop. I think. I hope.

4. if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
I will be calm, and probably clean my room or read some books. I'll feel okay, pet my cat and go to sleep. Or maybe I won't. I might just end up feeling guilty about SI, and then feel worse. Most likely it will be relief- but the relief will only last the night.

5. what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I'll probably try to distract myself. I could write, or read, or build something or clean my room.

6. how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Tomorrow I'll be upset that I hurt myself. If I don't hurt myself I'll be proud, but I'll still feel urgey the next night. The urge will still be there, whether I SI tonight or not.

7. what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I don't know what I want to do right now. I really don't. I want to make myself feel better- but only SI even fixes my issues with SI- but it ultimately causes them as well. Difficult cycle, no? I guess in an ideal world I would work through my issues, besides just figuring out what they are.

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Post by scorpio 88 girl dragon » Sat Aug 14, 2004 1:29 pm

RickTheTwinkie wrote:
scorpio 88 girl dragon wrote:*i have a si question*

whats the salt and ice method?

how do you do the salt and ice method?
Jo's right. That actually damages tissue. Take it from someone who's tried it.
WOAH!*stares at u*
thaxz for the advice man.
“No matter how much of a crybaby she might be and probably will always be, she will do whatever it takes, climb whatever mountain, cross whatever ocean, to protect those she loves.”

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Post by ru290 » Tue Nov 16, 2004 3:37 pm

:star: how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
it will bring short term relief and release, i will be able to see the damage of what i have done therefore i will feel better temporarily until i feel regretful and guilty. i will have a scar and i will like that.


:star: what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it will bring pain and confusion to the situation, it will bring reality crashing in. it will take away my will to go on :roll:


:star: how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i WANT to feel positive in the long run, although i know that i probably wont. it is likely to get me futher away, but it is likely to make me feel better short term, and i will like the way it looks. its not ugly, its beautiful. i wish i wasnt depressed anymore. i just wanna be me again, not this fake smiling pretending person.


:star: if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
it will bring rele rele short relief, longest lasting about a day. after wards i will cry and cry. cry myself to sleep. wallow in my own self hate. ponder how to get out of my situation but how si didnt help me AT ALL, but just made me feel better, and ponder how this is so, and then cry a bit more, feel lonely.


:star: what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i could talk to someone or go to a busy place depending on how i am feeling.

:star: how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
tomorrow if i have hurt myself = disappointed with myself, regretful, back to square one. if i dont si = good that i had the will power not to hurt myself, but still back to square one and rather lonely.


:star: what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
right now i really want to be with the person i love the most in all the world and just be held by them, i dont want to hurt myself because i know they would be ashamed and disappointed in me. look on the bright side, always remember TOMORO IS A NEW DAY. eat some food, get drunk have a cigerrette.

ru x
Love ru x
I can't stand by and see you destroyed
I can't be here and watch you burning
It doesn't matter if I give in easy
So why is it so hard to get by?

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Post by madmax454ss » Tue Nov 30, 2004 8:01 pm

*how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

situation won't change but the feeling will. I just need a sense of peace from this world that seems to be beating me down. :1cries:


*what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

a temporary sense of relief (which at the moment almost makes it worth it to be honest) It will take my wife's belief that I am getting better and throw it to the ground


*how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

I eventually want to feel like I beat this crap, like SI wasn't stronger than I am... NO


*if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

an hour at tops, SI again and again and again..... :bawl:


*what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

what I am doing right now... keep myself busy on the board, it could possibly give me insight into how to avoid cutting myself, don't know


*how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

tomorrow I will feel like a complete and utter failure (much like I do right now). I will feel despair at facing another day of urges yet again


*what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

What I really want to do right now is cut and not stop until all of the pain I am feeling inside is numb, i don't want to hurt inside anymore...


Wally
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Post by singo » Sat Apr 02, 2005 1:06 pm

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I will not feel anxious anymore, I will put off having an anxiety attack.


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Hurting myself will bring relief & calm to this situation. But it might make me more unstabe than I already am.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
It will get me further away. In the long run I want to be SI, anxiety free. This will offset my progress.


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
The relief won't last long at all. I will hate myself soon after. I will probably be depressed and cry. ANd anti-social for a good deal of time.


what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could text or call Ben. He will remind me of why I am stopping SI. My feelings of anxiety may get better, or they could get worse. Depending on his mood. Then I could get better or worse. I want to do this on my own I think. I could read my english novel, or the magazine I bought the other day.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I will be devastated tomorrow if I hurt myself. This is the longest I've gone without SI since I started. I will feel good if I read instead of SI.


what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want release from this anxiety that grips me from the inside. I don't want to feel this, I want to feel free, and I want to breathe.

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Post by mallie » Sat Apr 02, 2005 2:49 pm

Singo, Good on you for answering the questions and working on your urges.

Is there anything other than SI that has helped with anxiety before ? Breathing exercises, or grounding techniques ?

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Post by Nazgul » Mon Jun 20, 2005 4:38 am

*SI trigs*









how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

I'll feel guilty and like a failure. It will be even harder to get a job as I'll have marks on my arms in June in Texas - too hot for long sleeves by thirty degrees.


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

Hurting myself will bring calm to my mind for the first time in weeks. It will take away the nagging feeling that I need to "just do it".

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

In the long run, I want to be able to have beaten every urge. it's just that I'm so tired of dealing with them one right after the other. Hurting myself will get me so much farther from feeling like I can conquor the urges but, but, oh the gains in the short term...

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

The relief of hurting myself now will last until I wake up in the morning, at which time I would put on tons of bracelets. If I'm careful bracelets will cover up . . . no, I know better. I can't dissapoint myself. Yes, I can. No, . . .

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

I have already tried grounding techniques. I posted in my Place and copied it into Main. I read a book, 250 pgs. or so, I watched T.V, I took my meds, I'm out of ideas, no wait I could try the 'simulating SI' techniques. that would give me the relief without the actual SI, relief will last at least until morning and if I feel the need to SI tomorrow I can deal with that then.


how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

I'll feel really bad tomorrow if I hurt myself, and only kind of bad if I try my alternative, as my T doesn't seem to think simulating SI is a coping strategy nor does she see it as good

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I really want to disappear into a hole in the ground and not look for a job and not deal with the stress of life or listen to my mother nag about me not being more successful than I am. I want to go on vacation away from everything and everyone. I want to pamper myself. sigh...i still want to cut. There's just no replacement tonight, not even simulating it because my T thinks it's almost as bad as the real thing so why not just do the real thing? Aagh![/quote]
:snail:
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Post by silvertears » Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:59 pm

**** Triggering********






how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I would be able to go to work happy, ok maybe I'll try music instead :roll:


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It wil bing happyness and excitment.... It would take away my short temper.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
My mood will chang sooner or later... Hurtting myself will stop me from facing the reality that I need to face.


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It will last me until somthing upsetting happens.... start all over again

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could put on some up beat music and dance and sing away.... That sometimes makes me happy.... it may take me through the day, if i don't get short with people.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
If I hurt myself tomorrow I wil feel horrible an dnot allow myself to come to this site. If I don't I will fell happy and proud and more closer to the group.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I'm mixed up and i'm at the point were I need to make taht choice. I want to try out my new blads ( uhh confess I bought them on saterday :(
) I'm going to go listen to music. and stay out of the bathroom, and not be alone ( thank goodness my sis is home)

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Post by LuLu » Tue Jul 19, 2005 4:51 am

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I will feel less anxious & calm down.

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
I will feel better for a little while then be angry with myself for not being strong-messing up again. Having 2 start my SI-free count all over again


how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel better, normal. Hurting myself is definitely going to get me farther from feeling this way. If I hurt myself, I will only make things worse.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
The relief will last til the physical "pain" goes away. I would cry more then.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I am staying out of my bedroom since I will not self-harm anywhere else. It will keep me from the thoughts of being in the same place. It will change the situation by my not thinking about it. Once I am too tired 2 stay awake, I will go into my bedroom & sleep.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
If I si, I will feel terrible tomorrow & feel completely worthless. I will still get my anxiety but not the guilt of self-harming.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now
I'm just not sure what I want[/code]

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Post by **~*justme*~** » Sun Aug 07, 2005 2:19 am

GOD!!!
those are a lot of questions :o i feel like in some kind of test :x i will fail noooooooo :(

if 1 day i finish answering them im sure at that time the urge would have dissapeared :star:
Feel free to PM me :)

Hugs WELCOME

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Post by holli » Sat Sep 10, 2005 6:21 pm

Thanx.
I needed this thread and these questions today.
holli

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Post by ebmcs » Mon Jan 16, 2006 12:47 am

-----how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
The tension will dissipate. I'll stop feeling so bad about myself. It'll get some of the pain out.


---what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Bring -see above
Take away? Feeling of control and adequacy and "strength"

---how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
Long run? in control and capable. Hurting - farther away from that.

---if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
Probably for a while.... sometimes for good. Then? I'll feel better in ways and not in ways.


---what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Instead.... just sit it out. Let myself cry. How will that change? The feelings will still be there; I don't know how to address them


---how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Hurt - disappointed Not hurt - still feel yucky from all of this, maybe it will fade in time


---what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I don't know.

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