differences between bus and psyke

[sine nomine]

By the way, I do not want anyone from bus to go over and participate in any thread about bus. I'm really really serious about this. I realize that you may be defensive, but please don't. I don't want to have to get on anyone's case for doing something that we don't like when it's done to us.

deb

[swirlish]

Hmm.. I just wanted to say that my intention was never to say how bad Psyke is. I truly believe that is has a purpose and is a good thing for some people. Just as bus is for some people. Both have it's advantages and disadvantages.

[sine nomine]

i've changed the title of this thread to reflect more accurately what it's about. i'd also like to request that people remain respectful and not use sarcasm or invalidation as an arguing technique.

deb

[RhondaV]

Hey, Rhonda here. If any of the psyke members come here just to start stuff, Deb will be letting me know. I don't want people from Psyke coming here to bash BUS either. Each board serves a purpose and each is good. I will be keeping an eye on this as I thought lessons were learned the last time this happened. Let me know if this keeps up Deb!!!

[strange_indeed]

Hello just thought I'd say I'm leaving this thread alone nwo because I seem to have been giving the wrong impression.
I did not sign up to cause trouble.
I didn't mention my first username not beucase it was banned or because I had something to hide, but because many psyke members (if they read this thread) might have been encouraged to sign up and "defend" psyke and I didn't want ot have "well a mod did it why can't I?"
You can check my old posts if you want on my previous name (Dizzy_Izzy) aside from being embarassingly immature I have nothnig to hide.
Sorry for any trouble I've caused.

[kurdt_kobain]

By the way, I do not want anyone from bus to go over and participate in any thread about bus. I'm really really serious about this. I realize that you may be defensive, but please don't. I don't want to have to get on anyone's case for doing something that we don't like when it's done to us.

deb

I've been a member of Psyke for over a year...am I still not "allowed" to offer my view of this there?

[Laura]

By the way, I do not want anyone from bus to go over and participate in any thread about bus. I'm really really serious about this. I realize that you may be defensive, but please don't. I don't want to have to get on anyone's case for doing something that we don't like when it's done to us.

deb

I've been a member of Psyke for over a year...am I still not "allowed" to offer my view of this there?

My guess is that it's ok since you were already a member of psyke. In fact you're perhaps in a good position to give a calm and balanced view.
I think what Deb meant was more about people here feeling hurt or defensive and then deciding to go and visit Psyke specifically to discuss its merits relative to those of BUS.

While I'm on the topic, here's my experience. I've not visited Psyke much and it was a long time ago. My first encounter was the website, which I found via Google, and all I had found was their FAQs page, which was interesting and helpful and seemed to say things I hadn't read on other sites, although I noticed that they didn't reference where the info came from. I guess the FAQs were listed first on Google cos a lot of people found them helpful. I don't remember pictures, but I didn't explore far.

It was a long time later that I found their web-board (I'd joined BUS before that). Again, I don't remember pictures, but I do remember methods - I specifically remember this because a while later when in a bad place I deliberately visited Psyke to find out about a method . It was being talked about quite openly, and someone had posted asking precisely how to do it, and was given step-by-step instructions. There were several threads about it like this (I know, because I did a search ) On one of the threads someone had posted questioning whether it was right to give detailed instructions, and others had posted ridiculing them for asking this.
From what I've read here it seems that the rules or level of moderation may have changed since back then - it was a couple of years ago at least.
I suppose you could say it served a purpose for me, but I don't think I could call it "helpful". I know, if I tried hard I could probably get methods info from Google. But it does strike me as odd that I was able to get it from a support group. But I guess that's what this thread is all about: what do we mean by "support"?

Take care folks
Laura

[Chimera]

The Psyke.org forum, and the Psyke.org homepage *are* inextricably linked. They belong to the same domain. The homepage for Psyke links to *both* the graphic photos of SI as well as the "recovery" forum. If they were separate, as has been said, the forum would be called "Bob's SI Forum" or something unrelated, and it would not be linked to the homepage of the domain.

I have yet to visit the homepage of Alcoholics Anonymous and be greeted with pictures of Guinness or Absolut. Likewise, I've never been to the Narcotics Anonymous homepage and seen links to pages and pages of photos of coke, heroin, or meth. I do not believe that photos of wounds are conducive to recovery from self-injury.

I think it's a really good step that the methods forum has been removed and replaced. It's all too easy to find new and damaging ways to hurt oneself when one is in a self-destructive mindset. Getting explicit, step by step instructions and recommendations on the "best" ways to go about harming your body is...bad. I hope that Psyke continues to make further positive changes to the forums in the future.

Jessica

[guest11]

I have yet to visit the homepage of Alcoholics Anonymous and be greeted with pictures of Guinness or Absolut. Likewise, I've never been to the Narcotics Anonymous homepage and seen links to pages and pages of photos of coke, heroin, or meth.

Whilst I certainly think that is an interesting point, I know that sometimes looking at pictures had helped me, because I thought "Ouch... I don't want to end up like that"

[sassy koala]

there are going to be differences in any type of board you go to, regardless of whether they are of the same type or not. Basically it comes down to - you go to whichever site suits your needs best. Each has plusses and minuses that are tailored to you and what you expect and need for your support. One man's trash is another man's treasure...that type of thing.
-SK

[Lady darkness]

i personally feel that this forum is too restricting. editing peoples posts and such, taking away bits you dont want there and stuff... its almost like what they used to do in ye olden days lol... restricting opinions..... its like wrapping people in cotton wool. but maybe thats more what this board is about. people here are friendly enough.

[sassy koala]

it isn't so much about editing out opinions/views we don't like. It's more of an effort to keep people from getting triggered. We try to edit posts only if neccesary, and we try and edit it in a manner that the original meaning/content is still there and makes sense. If that makes sense.
and again, that goes back to what I said just above, what works for some, doesn't work for others. to each their own.

[Boogie Man]

a few of my posts have been edited by the mods, and the only changes that ive really noticed have been the addition of trigger space etc.
its a matter of keeping everyone safe rather than restricting opinions.

peace

[ChaseThisLight]

I like both Psyke and BUS...just for different reasons I guess....I've lurked psyke just as long as I've been a member of BUS...and not too long ago I joined Psyke so I could post...I guess I found the value in both....

[sine nomine]

kurdt, what i meant was that i didn't want people going over there, making new accounts, and getting into arguments about which is better.

as for bus being about censorship and editing, i am so sick of hearing that. we have rules. the rules are not intended to censor poeple -- in fact, that's why the place forum tends to be looser. you are asked to abide by certain rules, and those rules are enforced. you know what you're getting into when you sign up. it's not censorship. it's being part of a community.

each rule has a reason and comes from long experience. i've been involved in online si support for 9 years, and i've learned a lot about what keeps a space safe. the rules are very clear, and the only time any post gets edited is when it clearly violates the rules. in many cases, the mods will ask a poster to do the edits themelves, and they're always careful to try to convey that no great harm was done but that it's important to consider the feelings of other poeple who may read the post. it's not about coddling, it's about letting people choose what they want to be exposed to.

we ask that people not post wound dimensions and details because it's too easy to get wrapped up in the specifics of what you did and not think about the feelings. talking about what exactly you did is another way to escape and avoid whatever is going on. and the feelings behind your self-harm are way more important than the details of what you did. on top of that, as i've said, people get drawn into comparing themselves and that never really ends well. so we ask that you not post a lot of details.

we don't allow suicide notes and announcements for several reasons. one is that having people beg someone not to kill themselves just reinforces the idea that a suicide threat is an effective way of getting what you need, and it's not. another is that reading a suicide note freaks people out. someone they care about is saying "i'm going to go die" and they have no way to know what's happening or how the person is. it's not fair. it also spares people the embarrassment of coming back after an unsuccessful attempt. it's not about trying to avoid the reality of suicidality -- people are free to talk about wanting to die or feeling suicidal -- we'd just rather they not make threats or say they're going to do it now unless someone stops them.

i don't like the way people say bus is just about *hugs*. first of all, i've seen a lot of those on psyke, too, and secondly if you say you don't want any people are pretty good about not giving you any.

the whole "bus wraps people in cotton wool" thing is related to something i was talking to my husband about tonight: the idea that harshness and cruelty is equal to truth. you can be honest and upfront and even confrontational and still be gentle. if someone is behaving in a way that seems manipulative, instead of saying "stop being manipulative" the mods will start asking questions about what the person is feeling and what they think they need and how they might get that.

i think being challenged on your negative self-talk and beliefs about yourself is way more hard-core and real than any gory wound description. if you don't want to be challenged to grow and look at how your actions affect your life, if you just want to sit around and talk about how much life sucks and how badly you hurt yourself last night, then bus isn't going to be useful or fun for you. that's cool. just don't assume that everyone has the same needs and wants that you do.

deb

[Kasie]

Good post Deb

[guest11]

About editing posts: in my experience, when admins have edited my post, they just sent me a PM saying that it was edited, what was edited, and why. No big deal. I don't really see the problem with editing posts.

[pretty]

i think being challenged on your negative self-talk and beliefs about yourself is way more hard-core and real than any gory wound description. if you don't want to be challenged to grow and look at how your actions affect your life, if you just want to sit around and talk about how much life sucks and how badly you hurt yourself last night, then bus isn't going to be useful or fun for you. that's cool. just don't assume that everyone has the same needs and wants that you do.

:applauds: Well said, well said.

[Uncle_Tungsten]

If you and Wulf are so close I think he would be most upset by you continuing this scaremongering about the psyke forum.

we're close enough that he acted immediately and firmly when some peopel fomr his board decided it would be fun to mount an "attack" on this board. he also used to mirror secret shame back in the day before he started psyke. he's aware that i run my forum differently to how he runs his, and we don't scare-monger here.

And he was quite right to ban those people. What they did was childish and they deserved to be banned. I don't disagree with you there.

i'm not sure if you're aware of the history of the rules on psyke. they used to be very differnt to what they are, but after some problems on the board back in january 2004,

I've been a member since mid 2003 so....

i'm a bit confused about why you're being hostile and defensive. a lot of your language is sarcastic and invalidating, and i'm wondering why. can you help me understand what's going on with this?
deb

Please don't patronise me.
I'm English and sarcasm tends to be a national trait. Much like Americans and "psychbabble". e.g. "invalidating"?
Although you are right about "defensive". But then I don't think there's anything wrong with defending something/someone I feel is being hard done by. If I was new to the world of the SI forum and came here first, then read this thread (and in particular your posts) I would have the impression that the psyke forum is full of photos of self inflicted injuries, people comparing and competing when it comes to hurting themselves and that it is full of self harmers who don't want to give up. These things are all obviously untrue to anybody who goes/has been there.
Did you not look around when you posted there the other day?

I'm sorry if you think my posts have been hostile. They were not meant to be. I don't know any other way to express myself and I would describe them as "honest". I stated in my first post that I believe it's "horses for courses" and I don't see this as some sort of competition. I was merely trying to put right what I saw as a wrong. Although I am disappointed to see that Rhonda didn't publicly pick you up on what you said about psyke, I understand why.

[sine nomine]

invalidating: psychobabble meaning that you see all views which are counter to your own as wrong and valueless. it may be psychobabble, but having it done to you day after day for years can be how you end up hurting yourself. validation is about respecting the rights of others to think and believe what they choose, even if you don't like it, and not to try to make them submit to your view of things. it's about agreeing to disagreeing.

of course, "psychobabble" is a way of trivializing my post, though, isn't it?

sigh. you don't like bus. you like psyke. so don't come here. it's pretty simple. some people like both, they can go to both. some people like bus, they can come here. some people don't like either and don't have to come to either.

if you've been around since mid 2003, that means you were there during the server meltdown when wulff told people to come over here while the board was down (and i think an old post with guidelines for people coming from psyke mayb have been the genesis of this very old thread, but i'm not sure). and you were there when the rules had to be drastically changed because they weren't working; at the time several people remarked to me that the new rules looked familiar.

i think bus is probably less restrictive than many psyke users believe, and psyke is probably less out of uncontrol than many bus users believe. i don't see what the problem is.

deb