big step for me...*before*

[twistddreamr]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

it won't i suppose. though who knows since i dont really know an exact reason why the urge is there and so strong.


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

it will make things way more complicated. my best friend will be very upset. i dont want to do that to her. and i'll have to take care of my wounds. it will make me feel better for a little while.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

i want to feel like i am capable. hurting myself will only make me frustrated and angry at myself for giving in once the calm fades.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

it will only last for a little while. then the guilt and anger at myself will add to what i'm feeling now.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

keep posting on here. play more solitare. try sleeping. won't really change the situation i guess, but i dont know what the situation is.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

if i hurt myself tomorrow i will be even more upset. if i do the other things, i will probably feel the same as i do now. there is a chance i'll feel better.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

...i'm not sure what i want to do anymore.




More Before Questions To Answer



Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

I feel overwhelmed, angry, sad, like i want to crawl at my skin...claw at the walls. i have no idea why...stress from school? it kinda came out of nowhere.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

yes. i've been here many times. i either waited it out, talked to a friend, or gave in.

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

i've been distracting myself all day, tried ignoring the feeling and acting hyper...only made things worse.

How do I feel right now?

horrible. like crying. wishing my friend was awake so i could talk to her. she told me if i ever needed her i could wake her up, but she has to be up early tomorrow...

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

calm...i will feel nothing. the fuzziness in my head will clear.

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

directly after i will feel better. then i'll go to sleep, wake up, and be mad for being weak and giving in to the urge.

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

depends on what it is. i'm trying to deal with school stresses better. family stress is inevitable, but i try.

Do I need to hurt myself?

need? it's hard to say. i feel like i do but part of me knows better.





wow, my first time filling one of these out. it was hard! thoughts anyone?

[balletomane]

hi.

first of all, I'm glad you took the time to answer the questions. i hope that process helped even a little bit.

It sounds like you're really stressed out right now. Sorry that things are rough at the moment. It sounds like a really uncomfortable feeling.

Those times when you were able to make it through similar feelings without self injuring, what things helped?

You mentioned that you tried distractions/ignoring the feeling. How about trying to write about the feeling, draw, or something else similarly expressive?

How about trying to sleep?

I hope this feeling soon passes.

[twistddreamr]

Hi, thank you for replying and for your suggestions. I will definately try writing out my feelings or use some sort of similar expression in the future. Mostly the things that helped me were my friends distracting me or letting me talk about it and cry it out. Sleeping did not help this time, as the feeling lasted a few days, but I had a conversation with a close friend/partner and saw how much it affects her...i feel almost "scared straight"....it's helped me gain some motivation. not sure if that's the right reason to want to stop, but any reason for now is better than nothing i suppose.