bus

* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
The tension would go away

* what will hurting myself bring to the situation?
nothing really but the ache in the pit of my stomach would go away for a while
*what will it take away from the situation?
dignity

* how do i want to feel about this in the long run?
relaxed and confident
* is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
Farther away

* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? acouple of hours
what will i do then?sleep




* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? hormones, drought, bad decisions

* Have I been here before?yes What did I do to deal with it? si How did I feel then?dumb...and weak.....other people go through much worse and dont si

* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far?
exercised, practiced Mandarine, rode my horse, took an extra celexa
What else can I do that won't hurt me?the dishes

* How do I feel right now? like crying but afraid to

* How will I feel when I am hurting myself? stupid

* How will I feel after hurting myself? the tension will be gone
How will I feel tomorrow morning?frightened that someone will see




* Do I need to hurt myself? no

can you just notice the ache in your stomach... describe it... what does it feel like...

can def relate to being afraid of crying. yet really... *now* if bad things happen because i cry it's also because i'm the one who adds those things in. fear of crying was because of things that happened in the past... & the situation has changed.

could you do the dishes & things & then sleep?

I made it throurgh and did not SI
Hurray for me!!