before
Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 2:20 am
Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
i will not be anxious. i will feel better about not doing uni work. i might leave uni and feel better at home.
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
will make things simpler. will reassure me that i don't need to be perfect. i don't know what it will do exactly
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
in the long run, i don't know if i want to stop. i guess i do want to si less. si-ing now would take me further from wanting to si less, further from caring for myself...
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
its a problem that i will probably keep thinking about even if i do si. the relief might last only a half hour or up to a few hrs. i will probably leave uni (if i'm still here) and at home, read and comfort-eat. no healthy options
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i could walk around a bit. i could read uni notes to possibly help me understand the work. i don't know how to change the situation. i guess its more important that i change my *reaction* to the situation, so maybe i should write out what negative things i should try and fight... whatever works will hopefully last til this afternoon and then i'll try and stay distracted.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
if i si, i'll feel proud but also slightly ashamed. if i do other stuff before i si i guess it means i tried. if i don't si at all, then i'll feel more proud of myself, i'll be able to talk to my T about fighting rather than about giving in.
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i want to not have uni stuff, i suppose i can leave this assignment and start a more important one that may actually be easier. i think the urge to si is telling me i'm anxious and frustrated. i guess doing something easier might help with that.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
i will not be anxious. i will feel better about not doing uni work. i might leave uni and feel better at home.
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
will make things simpler. will reassure me that i don't need to be perfect. i don't know what it will do exactly
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
in the long run, i don't know if i want to stop. i guess i do want to si less. si-ing now would take me further from wanting to si less, further from caring for myself...
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
its a problem that i will probably keep thinking about even if i do si. the relief might last only a half hour or up to a few hrs. i will probably leave uni (if i'm still here) and at home, read and comfort-eat. no healthy options
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i could walk around a bit. i could read uni notes to possibly help me understand the work. i don't know how to change the situation. i guess its more important that i change my *reaction* to the situation, so maybe i should write out what negative things i should try and fight... whatever works will hopefully last til this afternoon and then i'll try and stay distracted.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
if i si, i'll feel proud but also slightly ashamed. if i do other stuff before i si i guess it means i tried. if i don't si at all, then i'll feel more proud of myself, i'll be able to talk to my T about fighting rather than about giving in.
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i want to not have uni stuff, i suppose i can leave this assignment and start a more important one that may actually be easier. i think the urge to si is telling me i'm anxious and frustrated. i guess doing something easier might help with that.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
those aren't the only options. read. good. eat.. & limit it. then check out other things.