Before...
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 9:48 pm
How will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It probably won't but at least it will make me stop feeling so low, so worthless just for a few minutes.
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
If i SI, my head will feel clearer, i will feel like i can breath again, because the temptation will have gone away. it will take me away from the situation then bring me back more complete more human.
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
In the long run i want it all to go away, i amanged to give up for so long, and nw its steadily creeping back into my life and im so scared that someone i love will find out that im letting them down again.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
I feel so numb so calm about si-ing that it will probably last till the next day, but then ill spend the next week hiding and wantign to let someone know how messed up my head feels. Im worried what i will do if this gets carried away.
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I've tried distracting myself, writing poetry, playng guitar, but i cant seem to be settled at anythig. my mind feels so manic and busy that it wont settle. I thnk i can last for a whie, but i may be on my own tom and that worries me.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
If I do it I will feel like i;ve let everyone down, and be scared someone sees. If i don't i don't know maybe still numb.
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
It sounds pathetic but ive had a rubbish week at work, my jobs dire and i didnt get two jobs of which i went to interviews for. Just feel worthless nothing i do means anything. my b/friends all quiet and im just alone and away from everything. little things keep making me cry, even at work ive had to disappear for few minutes and i can't afford for it to fall apart.
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Usually talk to someone although, they now shout and im too scared to say.
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I've been trying to avoid it all week, havent cut since wednesday. I need to find something mindless to distract me.
Do I need to hurt myself?
My emtions are saying yes, so i can think again, but my head knows i shouldn't.
It probably won't but at least it will make me stop feeling so low, so worthless just for a few minutes.
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
If i SI, my head will feel clearer, i will feel like i can breath again, because the temptation will have gone away. it will take me away from the situation then bring me back more complete more human.
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
In the long run i want it all to go away, i amanged to give up for so long, and nw its steadily creeping back into my life and im so scared that someone i love will find out that im letting them down again.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
I feel so numb so calm about si-ing that it will probably last till the next day, but then ill spend the next week hiding and wantign to let someone know how messed up my head feels. Im worried what i will do if this gets carried away.
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I've tried distracting myself, writing poetry, playng guitar, but i cant seem to be settled at anythig. my mind feels so manic and busy that it wont settle. I thnk i can last for a whie, but i may be on my own tom and that worries me.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
If I do it I will feel like i;ve let everyone down, and be scared someone sees. If i don't i don't know maybe still numb.
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
It sounds pathetic but ive had a rubbish week at work, my jobs dire and i didnt get two jobs of which i went to interviews for. Just feel worthless nothing i do means anything. my b/friends all quiet and im just alone and away from everything. little things keep making me cry, even at work ive had to disappear for few minutes and i can't afford for it to fall apart.
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Usually talk to someone although, they now shout and im too scared to say.
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I've been trying to avoid it all week, havent cut since wednesday. I need to find something mindless to distract me.
Do I need to hurt myself?
My emtions are saying yes, so i can think again, but my head knows i shouldn't.
