before
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 8:18 am
* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
it will stop the urge. it'll go away. it'll go away.
* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
order. order.
* how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i dont want to feel urges anymore. i dont want to feel triggered. no its probably more likely to get me deeper into SIing again
* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
it'll last the night at least. maybe a few days. then? i don't know. confront it again. succeed or fail.
* what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
go clean the kitchen. it'll distract me. call my boyfriend. tell him how I'm feeling. he'll freak out. last time I even mentioned it he said that if I do then to pack my bags. but he really said that out of fear. but that's not the way it works. you can't scare me out of doing this.
i dont know how long it will last. i don't know what i'll do then
* how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
i'll be disappointed and crushed. if i go clean & distract myself, i'll feel accomplished that i got something done.
* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i really want to cut. so bad. so fucking bad.
i dont know. what does that question mean??
* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
a variety of things. i've been getting tapered of my meds. i'm doing it myself, but there are no other options b/c my insurance has run out and i can't afford to go cold turkey on effexor b/c it happened once b/c of an insurance fuckup and i had severe w/d symptoms. so i'm doing it myself. and there have been so many bad side effects that i got because of the drug. i think i'll be better w/o it. but now i dont know. but i can't stay on it b/c it fucks up my entire body. and my sleep. and i get insane nightmares constantly. and i cant deal w/that anymore.
* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yes ive been here before. ive called my bf. ive
o god i think im starting to have a panic attack
it will stop the urge. it'll go away. it'll go away.
* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
order. order.
* how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i dont want to feel urges anymore. i dont want to feel triggered. no its probably more likely to get me deeper into SIing again
* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
it'll last the night at least. maybe a few days. then? i don't know. confront it again. succeed or fail.
* what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
go clean the kitchen. it'll distract me. call my boyfriend. tell him how I'm feeling. he'll freak out. last time I even mentioned it he said that if I do then to pack my bags. but he really said that out of fear. but that's not the way it works. you can't scare me out of doing this.
i dont know how long it will last. i don't know what i'll do then
* how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
i'll be disappointed and crushed. if i go clean & distract myself, i'll feel accomplished that i got something done.
* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i really want to cut. so bad. so fucking bad.
i dont know. what does that question mean??
* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
a variety of things. i've been getting tapered of my meds. i'm doing it myself, but there are no other options b/c my insurance has run out and i can't afford to go cold turkey on effexor b/c it happened once b/c of an insurance fuckup and i had severe w/d symptoms. so i'm doing it myself. and there have been so many bad side effects that i got because of the drug. i think i'll be better w/o it. but now i dont know. but i can't stay on it b/c it fucks up my entire body. and my sleep. and i get insane nightmares constantly. and i cant deal w/that anymore.
* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yes ive been here before. ive called my bf. ive
o god i think im starting to have a panic attack
