before.

[ebmcs]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

---I will feel more relaxed and less tense. The situation won't actually change. My feelings will.


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
---Bring - release of tension. Take away - feeling of control and self-sufficiency.


how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
---Long run - in control of my emotions. Hurting would push me farther from that.


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
---Probably just a while... and then I'll be back in the same place again but a little calmer.


what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
---I don't know... just sit it out? Journal? Let myself cry (haha!)? Impulse is to shove it down, down, down.


how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
---If I hurt - ashamed in a way and calmer in a way.
If I journal etc.... depends on how well it goes?


what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
---I don't know......



Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
---I feel unlovable. I feel ashamed of my SI. I feel rejected by things from this week. I feel alone.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
----Yes, and I've dealt in a myriad of ways. None have really worked!?!


What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
---I've blocked it out. I've prayed. I've read the Bible. I've listened to music. I've done Sudoku. I've hurt myself some... What else can I do? make myself journal.


How do I feel right now?
---Worthless. Tired. A little fed up with life.

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
---Relieved. Justified.

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
---Good for a while, then not so much. In the morning..... maybe ashamed, maybe calm; it depends.

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
---I need to learn how to deal with rejection and disappointment without hating myself. Any advice on how to do that? I used to be able to "catch" my thoughts and redirect them; I don't feel that I have the energy to right now.

Do I need to hurt myself?
---Need to? No... Needs would be God, shelter, food, water, clothing....
Do I feel like I need to? Yes
Is that a good indicator of anything? no

[beachgirl]

Hi ebmcs - This is a late reply; I'm sorry I didn't see your post earlier. How did your evening end up? Did you end up SI'ing or did you try one of the other ways to cope that you mentioned? I hope things are better for you now.

Dealing with rejection and disappointment are very tough. How I handle these things kind of depends on the situation; do you want to say more about what was going on?

Susie