Before
Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 6:23 pm
how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
Nothing will change in the situation, but I will be better able to deal with it. I will be able to focus a bit more, feel a bit less out of control. I may actually have less control, but I will feel like I have more.
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Bring- Calmness, space, a little disconnection. Take away- self respect (seems to be a short supply of that already), hope to be "normal".
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel nothing in the long run. But since that doesn't seem possible, I would settle for feeling nothing now...except that I know this is a bad choice. Just can't see why at the moment...but still know SI would be a bad choice.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
I don't know. I would probably either SI again or be off work and be able to read a book or go to sleep.
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I am trying to type some things out and give myself a little bit of space. Unfortunantly, it doesn't seem to be helping much. Nothing seems to actually change the situation, and I am not sure the situation needs to change. I think the problem in internal and I don't know how to change that.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I don't really have another thing to do. I don't want to SI, because I don't want to go back where I was 6 months ago. I have been doing so well in some ways. But...the thought keeps coming back and I am not doing as well fighting it now as I did before. As far as I can tell, tomorrow I will either still be struggling with the same thougths and feelings, or the thoughts will get a bit worse. No matter what I do...by tomorrow, the problem will be back. But I could have a bit of peace today if I SIed...just don't know what it will cost later on.
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I really need to find something else that will help. But I am at a loss what I can do. I guess I will keep trying to distract myself and focus on my work. But it is getting very hard...This is not healthy. Just don't know how to get to healthy right now.
Nothing will change in the situation, but I will be better able to deal with it. I will be able to focus a bit more, feel a bit less out of control. I may actually have less control, but I will feel like I have more.
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Bring- Calmness, space, a little disconnection. Take away- self respect (seems to be a short supply of that already), hope to be "normal".
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel nothing in the long run. But since that doesn't seem possible, I would settle for feeling nothing now...except that I know this is a bad choice. Just can't see why at the moment...but still know SI would be a bad choice.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
I don't know. I would probably either SI again or be off work and be able to read a book or go to sleep.
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I am trying to type some things out and give myself a little bit of space. Unfortunantly, it doesn't seem to be helping much. Nothing seems to actually change the situation, and I am not sure the situation needs to change. I think the problem in internal and I don't know how to change that.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I don't really have another thing to do. I don't want to SI, because I don't want to go back where I was 6 months ago. I have been doing so well in some ways. But...the thought keeps coming back and I am not doing as well fighting it now as I did before. As far as I can tell, tomorrow I will either still be struggling with the same thougths and feelings, or the thoughts will get a bit worse. No matter what I do...by tomorrow, the problem will be back. But I could have a bit of peace today if I SIed...just don't know what it will cost later on.
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I really need to find something else that will help. But I am at a loss what I can do. I guess I will keep trying to distract myself and focus on my work. But it is getting very hard...This is not healthy. Just don't know how to get to healthy right now.
