perennial before

[cb_47]

I'm finally to a point where my first reaction to negative emotions is not cutting. Well... mostly. Anyway. However, I find myself frequently in a situation that makes me want to cut. I work retail, and a large portion of my job is opening up new product and breaking down cardboard. That means I spend way too much time with a tool in my hand, and it's just... stressful. I just want to cut so I can get it over with and not think about it anymore. Wow... didn't even realize I was feeling that strongly about it until I said it...

Here's the thing: Logically, I know that is the stupidest thing I have ever said, or pretty close. I know it so well that answering all the questions on the list probably won't help me. But I can't think of a good coping mechanism at work.

Help?

[Kaelyn]

Can you get something else to do at work?
So you don't have to have a tool in your hand all day long?

Okay, odd question, is the tool similar/the same to what you used to cut with?
Does it help to try to think of some way to discern between "SI tool" and "tool-at-job"...
something that doesn't make the link between SI and the tool at your job?

hope you will find some way to cope with it... stress is not good.

[cb_47]

Unfortunately, it's the exact same tool, with the very minor exception of not being mine. Also, it's a small store--usually only 1 or 2 people there at once. Believe me, I've thought of telling them I can't do it, but that would bring up more questions than I'm willing to deal with.

[Kaelyn]

I can imagine you don't want to bring that up..

can you open the products with another kind of tool, one that is not so strongly linked to your SI?
(or do you use it to break down the cardboard? well, same question in that case)

[cb_47]

I'll see what I can't dig up. I came way too close tonight, I honestly don't think I'll make it if I have to go through two more months of this.

[Kaelyn]

I hope you manage to find something
take care