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Before

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 1:07 am
by narcoleptic
how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I'm hoping it'll help me sleep

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
I'll feel like I'm acknowleging myself. I'll feel like I'm taking away my crediblity as a person

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel normal. right now all I feel is tired and I can't sleep. I want to but my body won't let me.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It'll last for maybe a day, maybe an hour, varies. Afterwards I'll be so ashamed.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could write. I could listen to music. But I just don't want to. I want to make it stop. I just don't know for sure what it is.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Horrible. I don't know

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I could take some sort of sleeping pill but I don't want to develop a habit.

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 2:37 am
by balletomane
What other soothing calming things can you do?

What is keeping you awake? Racing thoughts? Caffeine?

Perhaps something calming and repetitive will help. Like knitting or drawing?

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 4:33 pm
by narcoleptic
I didn't find any soothing thing to do, I just hung aorund bus until I couldn't keep my eyes opena nd then passed out. It was racing thoughts though. I think coming here calmed a lot of them though.

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 6:12 pm
by plantt
any thoughts about what to do differently if/when you're feeling like that again?

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 7:10 pm
by narcoleptic
The idea of something repitious, well, I have a guitar and I can't play but I know the spider which is basically when you play a bunch ofnotes over and aover and it's kinda comforting.

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 7:18 pm
by plantt
*nods* sounds good :)