Before Questions....

[~Chameleon~]

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

stressed to the max... want to feel the pain... tired of fighting the urges


Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

not like this i haven't... been feeling really, really weird for the past few days... different from before... i've felt urgy and stressed before though...

i've si'ed, i've drank, i've distracted myself...

all of them suck because if i actually give in to si or drinking, then i am angry, disappointed and disgusted with myself, if i DON'T give in, then it just keeps friggin building... might as well give in and get it over with...


What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

i've been trying to distract myself... i've gotten out of the house... i'm going to go to church in a few hours.... i don't know what else to do!!!!!


How do I feel right now?

urgy... want to cut.... stressed.... sick to my stomach.... quivery inside...


How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

better... more relaxed... relieved


How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

good after hurting myself, but guilty feeling.... will feel regret and anger and disappointment with myself tomorrow...



Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

I don't know what the stressor IS!!!!!!!!!!! i know that i'm stressed about getting grades done, but this is something much stronger. i feel quivery inside... i feel sick to my stomach...


Do I need to hurt myself?

i might not NEED to hurt myself, but i do need to do SOMETHING to help me to get over these feelings!!!!! i'm going stir crazy inside... i feel as though i'm "losing it"...

[ChaseThisLight]

Ah, I can relate to what you're saying. It's very frusterating when you have all those conflicting thoughts about SI and drinking...kinda like damned if you do damned if you don't. You said that things would be easier if you could get it off your mind and get rid of that feeling. I know when i'm feeling really urgy I like to do something physical, like ride my bike really hard, or go for a walk, or lift weights. Would talking to a trusted friend help? Sometimes, even when you don't quite know why you're feeling urgy, it can help to talk to someone about whatever, and maybe you'll run across why you're not feeling very well. Good luck, and take care of yourself.