bus

okay, this isn't a threat. i really will be online for 5 more mins- my sister needs the computer. please can someone help me??
i really want to cut. i've been going so well lately except for yesterday when i cut deeply on my hand, but it's like i'm an alcoholic thats got a taste for vodka. i need to do it.

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? i will get a releif and feel better about myself


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? it will bring satisfaction to me and take away the powerful urges


how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way? i will regret another scar- especially if i do it on my hands or legs, and obviously cutting is only going to make that worse


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? the relief will only be temporary- this i know because i only cut yesterday and already i'm feeling like this, so obviously not long


what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? i honestly can't think of anything that will change the situation...


how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with? i will feel satisfaction knowing that i hurt myself but this will also be mingled with regret


what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now? i really want to cut. bottom line. i can honour the protective instinct by not cutting but right now i feel pretty helpless. please, can you help me. i feel so small

got to get off now.



*jumps up and down*

SOMEBODY FUCKING LISTEN TO ME

I am here too.

It sounds like things are really tough. What things can you do to get yourself out of danger? Can you go sit with people, take a walk, etc. Anything to get you away from your tools? That might give you some distance and allow you to calm down and think about the situation that is causing these feelings. If you ever want to talk through things or try to come up with possible distractions/coping skills, PM me. I am always willing to listen and will respond as soon as I am able. Take care of yourself.

I hope you are feeling a little better at least.

Sad Poetess wrote:i really want to cut. i've been going so well lately except for yesterday when i cut deeply on my hand, but it's like i'm an alcoholic thats got a taste for vodka. i need to do it.

hmm... know the feeling...
i have a few friends who are (sober) alcoholics, and it's scary how much their descriptions of their drinking are almost exactly like my descriptions of SI. that's been helpful in that they've helped me find ways out. i haven't managed to stop entirely yet, but i'm getting somewhere.

comparing it to alcohol also made it easier to want to stop, for me -- i know that alcoholic drinking and drug addiction is a dangerous road, and when i saw that same behaviour in myself even without the substances, i started to worry...

i don't know if you're still online -- sharing computers makes things difficult -- but i'm listening if and when you get back. pm if you want. i'm having a rough night, too...

-lycander

sorry for losing it last post. i just really wanted for someone to hear me. thank you mab, balletomane and lycander. i really appreciate your replies.
to end it off, i did end up cutting- pretty bad as well. thinking of going to the gp to get it stitched but i have no car... oh well. thanks once again.
~the potato~

thanks for letting us know --
good luck to you.

pm me if you ever want,
-lycander