Before - just
Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 9:20 pm
how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I will feel calmer, the awful thing in my head that tel,s me to cut will go away and I won't have to fight it any more, I might get attention, I feel as though I am worth somthing because I do something that others don't
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Bring to: calm
Bring against - scars, I've scarred relatively badly from the last one - can't thin kof anywhere on my body where it won't show, doesn't change the underlying feeling of worthlessness, doesn't change the need I have for attention...it's all attention seeking anyway.
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel that I am worth something, feel valued, feel that I have not made the wrong decisions nad am regretting them, not feel jealous, not feel unhappy. Want to feel positive and not trapped. Hurting myself will bring immdiate relief, i know that, but will not necessarily help witht he other issues.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
A few days. Then it will start again.
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I'm goign to try to go to bed but I'm feeling too wound up to sleep properly. I might try the ice on the arm or the red pen. Or I coudl si less severely than I want to which woudl be a start. After that I will deal with tomorrow when it comes but in my experience the urges just keep coming day after day after day until I actually si then it goes away. Usually it helps for a good long while but something is wrong and it hasn't helped and the urges are back again. maybe I shoudlnt' coime to BUS.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
Have a hug, talk to someone, feel that I was worthwhile and had a purpose in life nad in my career.
I don't knwo who to phone, I haven't got anyone to have a hug from. I'm goign to talk to my deputy head in the next few days about things at school and I don't knwo whether to tell him about the si or not or if I'm jsut wanting attention becuase I feel invisible. It's liek bieng in a bubble - back to being there but not bieng "there".
Feel a little calmer.
Jane
I will feel calmer, the awful thing in my head that tel,s me to cut will go away and I won't have to fight it any more, I might get attention, I feel as though I am worth somthing because I do something that others don't
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Bring to: calm
Bring against - scars, I've scarred relatively badly from the last one - can't thin kof anywhere on my body where it won't show, doesn't change the underlying feeling of worthlessness, doesn't change the need I have for attention...it's all attention seeking anyway.
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel that I am worth something, feel valued, feel that I have not made the wrong decisions nad am regretting them, not feel jealous, not feel unhappy. Want to feel positive and not trapped. Hurting myself will bring immdiate relief, i know that, but will not necessarily help witht he other issues.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
A few days. Then it will start again.
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I'm goign to try to go to bed but I'm feeling too wound up to sleep properly. I might try the ice on the arm or the red pen. Or I coudl si less severely than I want to which woudl be a start. After that I will deal with tomorrow when it comes but in my experience the urges just keep coming day after day after day until I actually si then it goes away. Usually it helps for a good long while but something is wrong and it hasn't helped and the urges are back again. maybe I shoudlnt' coime to BUS.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
Have a hug, talk to someone, feel that I was worthwhile and had a purpose in life nad in my career.
I don't knwo who to phone, I haven't got anyone to have a hug from. I'm goign to talk to my deputy head in the next few days about things at school and I don't knwo whether to tell him about the si or not or if I'm jsut wanting attention becuase I feel invisible. It's liek bieng in a bubble - back to being there but not bieng "there".
Feel a little calmer.
Jane