after

[kate_]

have you taken care of your physiacl wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
done


what had happened just before?
hmm..well nothing had really happened. i was cleaning my room...i was high...i was just thinking about my life in general..


what were you thinking and feeling?
i wasnt in myself, i was majorly disassociating. partly because of the drugs. but it felt good because i didnt want to be in myself...i was listening to music and completely zoning out..not thinking of much


why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was teh final straw? what was it?
there wasn't a final straw, it was just time. i'd put it off for so long, i just broke. i didn't even want to stop.


how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events thatled up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decisiona nd not arrived at the final straw.
i could have avoided cutting, but that would just been by pushing it away, it wwould eventually happened. i could have delt with the feelings in a more productive way, could have called my T or my counsellor to talk..or a friend..i should have.


were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
yes, drugs of course. i'm such a failure, of course i could have addressed it and i can in the future. but i probably won't. i don't deserve to even be here.


what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
i guess i tried to distract myself, i was urgy first thing this morning...i cleaned my room for awhile, i listened to music and sang at the top of my lungs..that obviously didn't work


in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
i have to stop using.


name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
i need to write down a plan of what i'm going to do next time i am triggered..i've said this before but i really need to do it. i'll list things to distract myself, to release my emotions in a safe way..


how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
the situation, again, is my life. it is not resolved as i am still here.


are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
yes i deffinately will be. i'll recognize it when, i don't know..i feel it. i always know that i'm going to SI way before i do it. sometimes hours before...sometimes days. i don't plan it, but i can sense it coming. i have to start paying more attention if i really want to stop.


what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
once again, i WILL call my friend who made me promise to call her when i feel like SIing. then i will call my dad, who made me promise to call him when i feel like SIing. then i could call my T...or watch a movie, tv, read a book, or listen to music to distract myself. anything. i'll squeeze an ice cube, or write on myself with a red marker. anything.

[falling...]

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