bus

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

I'll feel relief. I'll feel relief that I don't have to go on fighting it, I will have done it, the constant fighting is tiring me out and making it impossible to think of anything else.

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

It will bring relief from the struggle of not doing it, and, for the moment anyway, it willbring calm and an ability to sleep.


how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

Hurting myself isn't actually going to change the situation I'm in, and I know that, it won't make me less stressed, and it will ultimately make me feel guilty- BUT in the here and now it would take away the immense weight thats pushing me down and I can't think of any other wya to get rid of it.


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

I'll wake up tomorrow morning feeling extremely guilty. I have no idea what I'll do then- try and move on


what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

Sleep. Because then I can't think about cutting. Talk to someone, though I'm not sure any of my housemates are still awake. Try and do some work- that's what has been stressing me out, and maybe if I do some more, I will feel less stressed.


how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

If I hurt myself- disappointed. If I don't- proud, because this is one of the biggest urges I've had in a while and I want to be able to fight it.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I really want to see my best friend and have an amazing long chat with her, and just forget about everything that's stressing me out. But that's impossible, because she's out for the night. i want to talk to anyone about anything, but there's noone still awake. I know si would be a temporary fix, and it wouldn't take away the real pain, and would probably only ultimately add to it, but it's whirring round my head right now as the only thought.

xxx

Sorry this reply is so late. Good on you for going through the questions when you were having urges.

BUT in the here and now it would take away the immense weight thats pushing me down and I can't think of any other wya to get rid of it.

When you're not in the grip of an urge, can you think of some other ways that might help when the urge to SI comes up next time?

really sorry this is so late. hope you made it through.

I'll feel relief that I don't have to go on fighting it, I will have done it, the constant fighting is tiring me out and making it impossible to think of anything else
--have you tried accepting it? can be less tiring sometimes to just say 'ok yeah i have an urge. how annoying ' & then go on about your day & do other things... than it is to say 'my gosh. i have an urge. i want to do x y & z. i really really want to act on it. i hate having urges. this is awful. etc'

BUT in the here and now it would take away the immense weight thats pushing me down and I can't think of any other wya to get rid of it.
--*nods* it sucks. a lot. that at times... the only way to get rid of things is to si. & the other option... the 'manage to just tolerate it for the moment' is so tough. it's really really hard.

i think it's great that you do realize... even though the urge is so strong... that si is only a very temporary 'fix'. that in the long-run it makes things worse... it makes things more difficult & longer.
i know that realizing that doesn't make it any easier in the moment... but i am very glad that you do realize that

sorry things are so tough for you atm