Beat an urge

[Stellaria]

I will give this a shot. Maybe it can be helpful to write it out, and I have nothing better to do right now anyway.

Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI? If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?

Yes, to some extent. Was feeling scared, unreal, helpless and alone. Was thinking about when things were really bad six years ago, and how afraid I am of ever ending up in the same situation again.
Made myself put words to the feelings by writing.

What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?

Listened to music
Posted on main asking for attention
Went to the gym
Had some comfort food
Had one glass of wine
Wrote a little in my journal
Played Shisen on computer
Watched tv (crime show "Numbers")
Talked on the phone with a friend
Went to sleep

Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used? If No - What coping skills got me through?

Some worked more than others, I think.
Probably most helpful were exercise, posting to bus, talking to friend and sleep.

Why do I think they worked?

Exercise gave me physical sensations to ground me, and got me out of the house with people around me
Talking to friend and posting made me feel like people care about me, and made me want to be able to tell them I managed
Sleep - well I had not slept enough the night before so my body probably needed it

It was also somewhat helpful to not have my preferred tools in the house. I could have gotten a new one or I could have used something else, but the fact that I hesitated a little to do that told me that I wasn't really desperate and could make myself manage without si.

How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?

I'm not sure about this one, as the step from feeling upset -> want to si happens so quickly, even if the act itself doesn't happen quickly, the thought is there...

[summerbreeze]

yay, i'm a helpful coping skill

you used to talk about feeling stuck. do you see yourself now that you are making lots of progress?
you're inspiring.

[Stellaria]

yay, i'm a helpful coping skill

You are. Thanks for being there.

Yes, I can see myself that some things have changed. One thing that has really helped is finding and staying on a med that works. Not that it's doing the job for me, it's not quite like that, but it is much easier to stay sane now.