bus

1. how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It won't change other than the fact that I will feel a lot better, a lot more logical, and a lot more peaceful. I won't lash out when he finally does call me...

2. what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
I will be more calm.. more happy, and I will be better able to deal with the fact that he hasn't called

3. how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want him to treat me better, how I deserve to be treated.. I don't guess it will really help, it will jsut help me feel a lot better

4. if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It will last for awhile, but after I will feel guilty.. but still more calm

5. what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could just do nothing... but that won't help. I called him already but I don't guess he cares.. i could read/relax but it doesn't help. I could eat but i'm already fat, and thats the reason he doesn't like me as much. he told me so

6. how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Probably not much different either way


7. what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to talk to someone.. but my friends aren't around and, of course, my bf isn't around. I don't trust anyone else. I want my boyfriend to stop treating me like shit. But since those things won't happen.. I want to cut. I still want to cut really badly

I'm kind of late responding, but I hope not too late.

It sounds like you're having a lot of problems around your b/f. Hurting yourself won't fix that, so can you think of things that will? Have you spoken to him about how you're feeling? If he's just being an idiot about things (not unheard of behaviour in a guy ) can you take some time to just be good to yourself without it being about him at all? You don't need to depend on him to be good to you, you can treat yourself to something nice, even if it's just a big bubbly bath and a silly movie

I hope you got through ok and are feeling better by the time you read this.

Just wanted to say, hurting yourself won't change how you fee laround other people, nor how they treat you, maybe briefly when they find out/feel guilty, but in the lnog run, you have to talk to them, and find ways of getting your needs met. Wh ycan't you call him? Why isn't he around? And dare, i say it, in the lnog term is this someone you can be with?
anyway, maybe these questions are a bit forward, I hope you're feeling better now and found something to distratct yourself with.
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