bus

have you taken care of your physiacl wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.

Yes I have....

what had happened just before?

I ate food...and had a really s**t day....and my parents where really getting me down about school and wouldnt stop bugging me about it.

what were you thinking and feeling?

I shouldn't have eaten....i feel depressed... and now i'm going to punish myself because i feel this way...

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?

I hurt myself then becuase....i had had enough. I feel better about myself if i SI. I think the food had something to do with it...but mostly it was just the depressed bit in me.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events thatled up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decisiona nd not arrived at the final straw.

I'm not sure...

were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?

no..probably. I havent been sleeping well lately.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?

I tried going running like i usually do, to get endorphines up or something. Usually it works, but this time it just DIDNT.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?

Talking to friends maybe, um....coming here to bus., drawing

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

Talking to people
Going for a walk/run
Drawing

I shouldn't have eaten....i feel depressed...
--so you were feeling guilty & depressed? what could you have done to deal with those emotions without si?

and now i'm going to punish myself because i feel thing way... I feel better about myself if i SI.
--if it makes you feel better about yourself then is it really a punishment? what is it about si that makes you feel better about yourself?

I havent been sleeping well lately
--how can you work to change that?

[/quote]

Hey

You say you don't know how it got to the 'final straw' stage. As it sounds like you're not constantly wanting to SI, its likely that there was something that made you want to SI more then than before. If you can work it back a bit more, and think specifically what was making you feel particularly depressed at the time, and making you binge, then maybe thats a starting point for tackling it.

I know for me a big part of dealing with my SI is recognising what type of events get me to a place where I want to SI, and now that I've recognised that, its easier to step in and stop myself before I feel so bad that I actually SI. Doesn't always work, but making progress!

Take care

Andi

I shouldn't have eaten....i feel depressed...
--so you were feeling guilty & depressed? what could you have done to deal with those emotions without si?
yeah guilty and depressed...I have no idea, thats why I SIed

and now i'm going to punish myself because i feel this way... I feel better about myself if i SI.
--if it makes you feel better about yourself then is it really a punishment? what is it about si that makes you feel better about yourself?
I punished myself with the pain and then i feel better about myself for knowing that i have punished myself.


I feel the need to SI when someone has made me dissapointed, like say someone said they would come to something and then they bail on you. I feel the need to SI when i feel left out and alone. Not living up to my parents, and teachers with school was making me depressed. Being confused about my relationships with people.
There stupid reasons...for a stupid thing.