bus

have you taken care of your physiacl wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Kind of. it'd kinda hard to bandage ur side tho.

what had happened just before?
Had a stupid argument with my mam.


what were you thinking and feeling?
i was angry, out of control, hurt.


why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was teh final straw? what was it?
I had been feelin shit all day. i SI'd last night too and i felt really guilty about that. i felt i needed to punish myself. the argument with my mam was the last straw.

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
i haven't been sleepin well in a long long time. i mostly cry myself to sleep and even then i usually only get two hours solid sleep.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
i didn't try anything because nothing ever works for me.


in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
i probably could've emailed someone or rang my friend but i sat that every time and it never happens. i just get too caught up in the need to hurt myself.


how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
i push myself way too hard. in school and with my friends. i cud try be a little easier on myself.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
yes definitely. ill recognize it because im there every day of my life.


what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
guitar
ringin a friend
reading

if si'ing is the easiest quickest route to feeling differently... it's not much of a 'punishment' then is it seems that it'd be more of a punishment to make yourself *not* si.

Had a stupid argument with my mam.

what makes it 'stupid'? 'stupid' is kinda a nondescriptive term... it's subjective. what it means to you may be very different from what it means to me. what does it mean to you?

angry, out of control, hurt
--*nods* natural emotions for someone who's been in an argument i think. how could you deal with feeling angry & hurt without si?

what could you do to try & get more sleep? lack of sleep can make things seem a lot harder & worse than things seem when you're not quite to tired.

i didn't try anything because nothing ever works for me.

sounds to me like a 'i don't want to try. nothing's made it easier. i give up' my question would be why are you taking the time & effort to answer these questions if you're fully convinced that si is the final answer? also, what do you mean 'nothing ever works'? what would it look like to you if something 'worked'?

i cud try be a little easier on myself

what are you going to do in order to do that?

guitar
ringin a friend
reading

you mentioned before that you 'got too caught up in the need to hurt yourself'... how will you stop yourself & do those 3 things next time?

if si'ing is the easiest quickest route to feeling differently... it's not much of a 'punishment' then is it seems that it'd be more of a punishment to make yourself *not* si.

it's a punishment because after i SI i have to endure the weird looks, the constant probing qustions as to why my arm is bandaged, teachers asking if i want to see the school counseller, people thinkin im a weirdo. that's more punishment than the actual physical pain.

what makes it 'stupid'? 'stupid' is kinda a nondescriptive term... it's subjective. what it means to you may be very different from what it means to me. what does it mean to you?

it was stupid because it was ova something really small, i can't even remember what, and i blew it completely out of proportion.

angry, out of control, hurt
--*nods* natural emotions for someone who's been in an argument i think. how could you deal with feeling angry & hurt without si?

i don't know. i haven't found a healthy outlet for my emotions that actually works yet.

what could you do to try & get more sleep? lack of sleep can make things seem a lot harder & worse than things seem when you're not quite to tired.

i want to see the doctor to get some sleeping pills because hot baths or listening to music or whatever just doesn't work for me. i can't go to the doctor tho coz im still a minor and need parental permission before i can get a prescription. and i can't tell my mam and dad i nedd pills coz they'll wanna know why im not sleepin and they don't no i SI.

i didn't try anything because nothing ever works for me.

sounds to me like a 'i don't want to try. nothing's made it easier. i give up' my question would be why are you taking the time & effort to answer these questions if you're fully convinced that si is the final answer? also, what do you mean 'nothing ever works'? what would it look like to you if something 'worked'?

i answer them because i like gettin feedback and some things that people say cud be helpful for the next time i need to SI. when i say nothing ever works i mean that every time i feel like SIing, i try so many things to distract myself and i still feel like SIing. if something worked id fveel calm and happier and wouldnt want to SI.

i cud try be a little easier on myself

what are you going to do in order to do that?

if someone says something bitchy to me about my weight or how i look im just gonna ignore it instead of worryin about it and beatin myself up about it later.

guitar
ringin a friend
reading

you mentioned before that you 'got too caught up in the need to hurt yourself'... how will you stop yourself & do those 3 things next time?

im gonna write all those distractions down and stick them on my wall so that when i wanna SI i'll read them and know that there's another option.

i still feel like SIing. if something worked id fveel calm and happier and wouldnt want to SI.

if you ever find something that does that... then lemme know! it'd definitely be nice if there was something like that.
to me... having a skill 'work'... means it got me through. i used it & did not si.
coping is not always a fun thing. it doesn't mean lack of urges. it means willingness to deal through the urges & not give in.

it's a punishment because after i SI i have to endure the weird looks, the constant probing qustions as to why my arm is bandaged, teachers asking if i want to see the school counseller, people thinkin im a weirdo. that's more punishment than the actual physical pain.

so skip the si & bandage your arm.
what do you get out of the questions people ask you? what causes you to do it again?

it was stupid because it was ova something really small, i can't even remember what, and i blew it completely out of proportion

how could you have dealt with that situation differently?

i can't tell my mam and dad i nedd pills coz they'll wanna know why im not sleepin and they don't no i SI.

non-si'ers can have sleeping problems too...

im gonna write all those distractions down and stick them on my wall so that when i wanna SI i'll read them and know that there's another option.

if someone says something bitchy to me about my weight or how i look im just gonna ignore it instead of worryin about it and beatin myself up about it later

sound like positive steps to take